My dear, I did not say that being attractive is unrealistic. I am saying that it is possible to be attractive without conforming to a very narrow definition of beauty. I will never have a wasp waist. It's genetic. I am the rectangular body type. So I accept it. Beating myself up over a large waist is as stupid as beating myself up for not being four inches taller. But my husband tells me quite happily about my beautiful legs, butt, and breasts, so you know what? I'm going to believe him. And accept that there are other kinds of beautiful besides willowy and elegant. I would love to be willowy and elegant, but I haven't got the raw materials. But there are other kinds of beautiful and I am one of them, even with my short neck, thick waist, and middle-aged skin (although I kind of lucked out there too. I don't wrinkle badly at all). You are also beautiful - I've seen your pictures - and I feel badly for you that you can't see it. There is nothing wrong with trying hard to be your best. But there is something very wrong with being miserable about where you are at.
Originally Posted by Leida
Kim, Tomi, Baker, thanks. Glad it struck a chord.
And Kerry, stick with it. Do buy new clothes, or at least stop wearing the baggy ones. (But do save at least one outfit, so you can try it on every now and again to marvel at how much room there is in it.) And you will reach a point, quite suddenly, when everyone will see the difference. I think eventually our proportions change so that people start seeing us in a new category. When we are very overweight, it takes quite a while to get there. I am betting you are on the verge of hitting it. Be prepared. Everyone will let you know. And the good news is, you will change categories faster after that. I think it's probably mathematical, to tell you the truth, but I am way too lazy to try to figure it out. Something about the width to height ratio, and how the mind will round it off. When the ratio changes enough, people see you as an entirely different shape. I say that because almost everybody seems to notice at the same time, so there must be some kind of objective thing going on.
5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again
More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
- Lewis Mumford