Primal Journal (RMS) page 81

[RMS123]

Today I talk to my boss. More nervous than before a hearing. We probably won't even come to a decision - I asked for one by the end of the year. Either way, it's my last business trip of the year. Hooray!!!!! More later or tomorrow.

[Pebbles67]

Good Luck with the Boss conversation Ruth. Safe Trip too.

[demuralist]

ok, fingers and toes all crossed for good luck!!!!

[RMS123]

I have much to share, but I am pretty exhausted. The talk went well. I will not be going PT on Jan 1 (but did not really expect to), BUT, she made a commitment that we will work on a mutually agreeable transition plan and get me there. Neither she nor the CEO wants to lose me. That's helps. I knew a transition would be necessary, so it was a good outcome - really what I was looking for. I made it clear that I would NOT have another year like this one.

I've been reading with interest you ladies talk about fat. I had a 4.5 hour drive home and a lot of time to think. I think I mentioned in Chris's journal that the MOAR fat idea is how I started Primal. Worked great...for about 10 lb. Then, stall city. Looking back, I think I may have just needed to slightly moderate the calories. Instead of a small tweak, I searched for everything else. I'm certainly giving this some thought...

I'm wondering if low fat has caused my persistent acne. I've NEVER had acne (one or two pimples, but otherwise not). Not, I cannot get rid of these massive breakouts. It coincides EXACTLY with the timing of starting SPEED (lower calorie, lower fat, higher protein). I wish I had been tracking my food with my acne...I'm trying to remember if when it seems like things were starting to clear up how my food intake was.

I'm going to have trouble lowering my protein. I like protein. I'm a creative person...I can come up with this Anyway, I may give this a shot between now and the end of the year. I'd so love it if my skin would clear up again. Also, if my sleep would improve... I'm detoxing majorly now. I've been eating too much fruit and popcorn (like, everyday!).

More tomorrow.

I need to say, I'm grateful for my MDA friends. There's a lot I share with you that I don't feel like I can share with others. Like Chris said, I can moan about DH (who is truly an awesome husband) and you won't judge him. I can try crazy weight loss ideas. I can moan about work. I can let other things out that I need to let out, but don't really want others to know (it would hurt their feelings and serve no useful purpose in our relationship).

[Pebbles67]

I'm so glad you stood your ground on the work front. ITA about the value of our MDA friends as confidantes and sounding boards. I would be a much crankier, confused person without you guys.

[demuralist]

I so agree! Not sure how I would have made it through this past year and a half without you guys! Besides all of the support and helpful listening there is the crazy amount of experience and knowledge that gets passed between us. I truly feel blessed that we managed to come together!

Ruth, I feel relieved for you. I know that an instant solution would have been amazing, but knowing there is an end in sight is pretty amazing too.

Yes, I have not tried this combination or anything even close to it really. I am sure that I never let my fat % get over 40, it would have freaked me out, but it is sort of the final frontier really. I like the protein and the veggies myself, and the SSoS really felt right in my head. But I did not feel the increased energy or reduced appetite that was so common on that board. And 5 months of no change tells me it is not my answer. I do have to say though that it has been amazing to me how much different my energy level has been the past 2 days, and I have been far from perfect in executing the plan! Also, I have been surprised at how little I am interested in food and eating. Boy I hope this keeps up!

I am certain that there is no one answer for everyone. Unfortunately for some of us it has taken longer to find ours.

[RMS123]

At least my spammer knows I'm an introvert. Personalized spam. I feel special!

[demuralist]

That is the same thing I thought when I saw it. It just makes me wonder what the heck they get out of it, the spamming I mean.

[RMS123]

Okay, joining the party, although I want to be pretty scientific about it - lots of tracking to see how different things change with what I eat.

Goals:
1. Gain a sense of satiety. I've been having trouble stopping, even when I know I'm well and good full, because I don't feel satisfied. I can tell you that after 1 day of doing this, I already feel more satisfied. Anyway, this is important for the "stop eating at 80% full" metric that I plan to use on a going-forward basis (as opposed to measuring and counting).
2. Lose inches (of course).
3. Sleep better.
4. Get rid of the acne that came in full force this last year.
5. Get rid of the red nose that came back this last year.

I will measure at various points:
1. Satisfaction/ability to stop eating/resistance to temptation.
2. TOM cramps.
3. Energy.
4. Sleep.
5. Acne.
6. Red nose.
7. Mood.
8. Scale weight.
9. Inches lost.

I want to try and be as healthy as possible. I think with decreasing the carbs, I need to make sure I'm eating well for the rest. I could happily eat bacon, pork rinds, and a little steak. I think I need bone broth, I'd love to get some organ meats in me, and maybe a bit of seafood.

Goal weight - somewhere in the 130 range. That would yield:
59 g protein (holy cow have I been waaaaaaaaaaay exceeding this)
118 g fat
29 g carb
1400 calories
BUT, I'm going to start higher, at 150 pounds, and see if I can lose weight. If not, I will SLOWLY drop calories. I also have to inch down the carb curve line. I like veggies So, goal right now is around 1664 calories, but stopping when I'm full (i.e., trying not to weigh and measure to tell me when to stop, but tracking to see where I am).

Starting weight: 163.2. I dropped almost 2 pounds of carb bloat already. Waist: 37.5. Hips: 41.5. Energy: 5/5. Sleep: Wake up at 2, fall back asleep around 4:30 (although it's getting close to TOM, when I have difficulty sleeping)> Now, let's see if I can get some movement...

[demuralist]

yeah! that all sounds totally reasonable. I also have noticed, nearly instantly, satisfaction with what I eat. And it is much easier to resist temptation (see my post about last night's homemade toffee). The high veggie/high protein plan did not get me that. This was also a lot easier last night, without feeling deprived.

I agree that the idea is to reach a long term goal of being able to eat to satisfaction, avoid temptation while still being able to, on rare occasions, enjoy a treat, and not spend my life weighing/measuring/counting. I do know that basically whatever plan gets me to my goal weight will be the way I eat for the rest of my life. No delusions there.

Good luck, and welcome to the party!