First....you are adorable! Very nicely proportioned. (and that is a southern lady's polite way of saying stacked) And you guys make a lovely couple.
I think it is sooo important to overcome the negative chatter in our heads. I have stopped that, finally, as well as the snide remarks I used to make about my weight to people to let them know that I knew that I am fat. But I have not turned that around into positive chatter. I just avoid the conversation!
I do still believe I am attractive, never thought of myself as 'hot' or 'sexy', even when I was thin and technically could be called both.
I know that one of my biggest problems is eating fast as well as not really paying attention to what I am eating. Something to seriously work on!
I know that writing this stuff down may not be the easiest thing for you, but it is very helpful for me, as I can see myself in much of what you are writing. (except the stepdad part-what a horrible person)