Primal Journal (RMS) page 59

[demuralist]

my pants yesterday felt snug, but the ones today are loose and my ring is spinning. We'll see.

[Pebbles67]

Yes, my ring is spinning too. Funny that you use that as a sign as well.

I think all the water weight went to my @ss.

[RMS123]

Tight pants, yes, me too. I don't care about the scale that much, but oh the pants. I can't comment on the rings - they are too big as it is.

[athomeontherange]

Funny thing, right now, I was happy to put the scale away again. I knew I had let myself fly off the rails...the scale was not a shock. My only regret - I wish I knew the number before I started the 21DSD to see if that could help me.

I can't wait until the day I can get my head where it needs to be in relation to the scale. I'll continue to work on it.

Here's another interesting thing. I think I've mentioned that my office "home base" is in TX and I'm in NM (two different time zones). My computer clock (for work) is hooked to the network and stay on TX time (where I'm "officially based"). At certain times -- noon (central -- but 11 am mtn) and 4 (central -- but 3 pm mtn) I start craving food. On my off days, or days away from the home office, I don't have these same cravings. There's something about that clock...

Totally get the clock because my bladder has gps..as soon as i get home..lol our bodies rely on patterns. Habits? Maybe..

[RMS123]

This week, as you can tell from my journal, I really struggled. Friday was a rough day. Of course, it was the day before TOM, which is typically the roughest day of the month for me (and, if I would actually track I'd be a lot more aware of it).

Anyway, Chris had a great comment to back up and focus on health. I kept thinking and thinking and thinking...and wondering why that's so hard.

And, it finally danwed on me why I'm so very obsessed with things right now. I'm terrified, not just scared, but flat out terrified that this weight gain of about 7-8 pounds means that I'm on my way back up and that I won't even be able to maintain this weight. When I went from about 170 and up to 240, it happened fast, and I felt very out of control (turns out that I have (had?) PCOS and that was a very large contributing fact as to why nothing seemed to work when trying to control the gain). What if that happens again?

I'm not entirely sure what to do to allay that fear, but at least I understand my underlying motivation. I do, however, know there are some "health" issues I need to focus on. I'm going to give it a while with a few goals that are NOT weight-related.
-- No Fruit for awhile. A piece every few days turned into a piece every day turned into a few pieces turned into several a day and wanting more, more, more turned into wanting tons of fruit, no veggies, and chocolate, turned into my body being completely out of what, not having hunger cues, hungry all the time, etc. As a result of 21DSD we've been doing, I'm getting this back under control. No fruit - at all - this entire week. I'm staring to feel much better.
-- Nuts as a Garnish. Nuts are not a meal. Nuts give me acne. Nuts are a garnish. End of story. Except for one day this week, I did very well with this one!
-- At least 50 g Protein Breakfast. I've been trying not to eat breakfast so I'd be more hungry for dinner. But, frankly, I'm a morning person. I'm hungry in the morning. All I do is eat all day if I don't have a big breakfast. So, back to this one.
-- No Snacking Between Meals. I've felt like I've been eating too much, so I tried not to eat as much, but really that led to snacking and eating more overall. I do better to eat meals. 3 meals. Once I get the sugar back in control, I know that the hunger will back off and then naturally the calories will get back in line.

[demuralist]

Excellent! I don't have problems with fruit, but currently they are mixed into something and I am actually measuring them. In the past I would have considered them a freebee and not worried about size or amount. I do a half serving of berries in my breakfast smoothie, and a very small apple most days in my tuna. The other 7 are veggies.

I have to weigh nuts, even when I use them as a garnish. Trader Joes sells, packets of individually sized raw nuts that can be useful if I know I am going to need a snack (ie when running errands while pushing lunch off).

I am totally with you on the snacking. Apparently when I want to eat something there is a certain quantity that makes my brain realize I ate, and that is meal sized. Never quite conquered the idea of a little something.

You know that as you get these things to fall into place your weight will begin to creep back down. I can totally empathize with the terror of regaining, for some reason it does seem to go up ridiculously fast.

p.s. I am back onto tracking what I eat, it is the easiest way to catch trends. Good Luck.

[RMS123]

I also upped my calorie go back to 1,400. I try to eat intuitively and, amazingly enough, fall naturally into 1,400. But, when I track at night, if I see the "goal" of 1,200, I feel sad, like I've somehow failed. I will let appetite guide me. Feeling much better & more energy with my really big breakfast!!!

[demuralist]

Once I got used to the protein in the morning I have not done well when I try to get rid of it. Oh I just realized I told Paula I don't do much dairy, but my morning smoothie is whey, which I think is characterized as dairy? good thing I don't have any dairy issues huh?

I feel best when my calories are around 1600, but then I weigh more than you do. My breakfast and lunch are pretty standard, it is all about whether I end up snacking before dinner. Which will throw me over in calories.

[RMS123]

It's that between lunch and dinner that gets. Actually, I like to eat dinner around 4 pm (considering how much of a morning person I am, this makes total sense). But, DH likes to eat later. If I start dinner around 4 or 4:30 (really, whenever), I start tasting (basically, it becomes a large snack) and/or snack on other food. Then, if I still eat dinner, I'm over where I need to be. Or, if I stop, I didn't feel like I ate (because it was a bit here, a bite there, etc.). For awhile, I ate my dinner first and everyone else ate when they were hungry. Now that my traveling has slowed again, I may go back to this (because we eat lunch together).

[demuralist]

I am the same way. Except a little later, but I like to eat around 5:30 and this works for DS as well. DH usually doesn't get home until 7:30 and then wants a cocktail so he is not ready to eat until at least 8:30, by then I am getting ready for bed! Which is a pain because then I am too tired to clean the kitchen by the time he gets done, so I have a dirty kitchen when I get up in the morning.

If I wait to do dinner with Dh I do the same snack while eating routine you do and have the same issues.

The irritating part is that DH used to wake up at 5:30 until we started having to get up at 5:30 now he sleeps in till 7. If he would go back to his old schedule we would all be together.