Primal Journal (RMS) page 55

[athomeontherange]

Have yo agree with Chris..it would be so nice to figure out the exact reason though and be able to stop the hinging process!

[demuralist]

I finally decided to loosen up on the "Primal" a little. I am craving sweets. I don't usually, but it is creating a situation where I am eating lots of other stuff to satisfy the craving. So I went to a low-carb treat, that is not totally primal (homemade though). And it seemed to calm the afternoon beast.

I am not sure what is causing the cravings, but it is better for me if I just figure out a way to give in a little instead of using will power to try to hold it off, because eventually it will set off a binge, or set off a series of mini-binges.

[RMS123]

I've been thinking a lot these last few days (dangerous, I know). Why do I want to continue losing weight? At 240, the answer was pretty obvious. Is it that I want to look good? Will I really feel good at 135 versus 155? Is it that I will feel prettier? If that's the case, then my underlying motivation is off. I'm not really sure I'll feel super duper hot at 135. I'm sorta thinking that I'll probably still find flaws. If it's truly about wanting to look better (which is not per se bad), then I think my underlying motivation is off.

Now, I know that I'm still a bit overweight. So, is it health? If so, then I'm approaching this all wrong. I'm considering doing crazy things (or even just semi-crazy) is my haste to lose weight. But, is that really setting me up for long-term success? I think not. I'm beginning to realize that I need to take a step back. Yes, I want to be "thin". Yes, I want it now. But why? It's not like I have an imminent health concern (like I did at 240 lb).

Instead, I think I really need to focus on creating good, and sustainable, life long habits. Do sweet potatoes slow my loss now? Yes. But, do they help me feel happier and more balanced (and, do I plan to eat them in "maintenance")? Yes. So, why do I punish myself now?

Of course, having said that, it's not like I can dive into a box of dark chocolate every night. But, even in "maintenance", that's not likely going to be the case.

I need to rethink my approach here... Not sure yet where it's going to take me (not away from Primal by any means!). I'm just thinking that I may need to focus on here and now instead of some "perfect" future that isn't going to be perfect

Enough pondering for a bit

[athomeontherange]

Wow..healthy reflection..where is the like button?

[demuralist]

I like that Ruth, finding a healthy balance is essential. Plus now you can work on those things that you are willing to do for life.

[Pebbles67]

I think that this is a great idea. I often wonder if my goal, 160-175 is even doable. At this point, I'd be thrilled to get to 190. I am starting to feel freed by the no weighing rule. At then end of each day, if I can say I ate healthily and moved a little, it'a all good. Obsessing about it sure wasn't working for me.

[RMS123]

I'm going to admit that I'm scared. I'm putting my scale away. I don't know how long I'll go, but I want to try for 60 days. 60 days where the focus is learning to eat and live healthy. Do I hope the scale goes down? Yes. I'm terrified that I'll pop back up to 180 without my scale. But, I do know this: I do not want to weigh myself every single day for the rest of my life to ensure that I'm not gaining too much. That's what well-fitting clothing is designed to do Also, at some point, I need to be able to live without the scale. I need to learn to eat and then stop when I'm full. I need to listen to my body. I need to actually respect my body.

So, we shall see how it goes. Here's (tentatively) what I'm thinking.
* Eat what I want (for the most part, I really can only eat Primal foods -- since I'm gluten and dairy intolerant, that really only leaves corn and beans...and I learned that beans do NOT like me).
* However (and it's a big however), I cannot let what I want (e.g., dark chocolate) "crowd out" needed nutrition. In other words, I cannot let chocolate (or veggie chips, or dried fruit, etc.) replace protein and veggies. I need both to function optimally (and the veggies tend to be especially important during TOM -- without enough veggies, the cramps are barely livable).
* I need to slow down, taste, and enjoy my food. No more scarfing it down without thought (I don't sit in front of the computer or TV and eat, but I do "zone out", thinking about everything else). This will be hard -- maybe one of the most difficult things I work on. And, if it's something "off-plan" (chocolate....), then I plate it and savor it. No clandestine meetings in front of the pantry door (as it the calories won't matter if I'm secretly stuffing my face).
* I have to stop when I'm full. No continuing to eat it because it's on my plate. No continuing to eat it because I *can't* have something again for awhile (giving myself permission to eat what I want should really help with this...it's more mental than anything).
* Exercise. I strongly believe we all need to move. I have a "desk job" and thus don't have a lot of daily movement. But, exercise should not be meant to punish. I should enjoy it. I'm not going to go crazy in an effort to lose weight. I'll lift weights because it makes me feel strong and empowered and because I think it is needed for bone and joint health (and, I really like lifting with DH). I'll walk because I enjoy it. I'll sprint every now and then because I know it's needed (and it takes so little time). I'll work on mobility because it helps with everyday life.

Traveling (again, sigh) for the next few days, so I might be off the reservation again. Golfing...sigh. I still need to go find a pair of pants!

[demuralist]

good luck, I know you can do it!!!

p.s. I have found that once I slow down and really listen to what my body really wants, 99% of the time it is something akin to a BAS with a nice piece of meat on top! Once I started keeping so much chocolate in the house I could not possibly finish it, and gave myself permission to eat it if that was what I really wanted, it lost its appeal.

[Pebbles67]

Yes, not weighing gives me a bit of anxiety every morning. I am going to have my husband hide the scale so I can't weigh even if I want to. I was thinking, after a binge, I would use the scale to punish myself. If I gained It was "You deserved it." if I lost "Wow you were lucky."

It's funny, I think all of us are heading in the same direction.

[athomeontherange]

I like it Ruth..I wish you success in the next 60 days.

Am. I the only one of us who has not written her manifesto? Oh. Dear..need to get crackin'.