05-06-2014, 11:13 AM
That seems kind of creepy...
05-07-2014, 02:15 PM
Lots of creepy in my journal
Well, things are back in high alert, DH is out of town, and mom leaves tomorrow. Woo hoo. Single parenting at its best. Honestly though, this is some hard, hard, hard crap. I admire my boys so much. By moving in with us, they put a major piece of their heart on the line. They are stretching and trusting so much, in a life where where their trust has been tromped on, spit on, and destroyed. They're doing the hard work here. We're just trying to shower them in love and show that them that, despite their entire life of experience, we are here for the long haul. They are trying so hard to attach to us, so hard to work through the crap. They are amazing. [And I'm flat out exhausted!]
05-07-2014, 03:46 PM
So you need a little something that you do with the boys when it is just you and them that is just on the edge of something the hubs and mom would not do. With my kids, we move the coffee table, and watch some stupid movie or comedian, sitting on the floor on big pillows eating popcorn (with the nutritional yeast mix and honey and sometimes chocolate chips) and drinking soda for dinner. Sort of like a slumber party, we are all night people so it always starts late and goes into the night. My Honey, doesn't care for comedians on tv, sitting on the floor, or popcorn and soda for dinner, or being up late. So it is a little indulgence we share when he is away. It is a small conspiracy that has brought us closer. Honey has his own stuff he does with them without me, so he gets his time as well.
05-07-2014, 04:10 PM
I like that. Actually, I hate TV in general, but I now watch Godzilla (the 90s cartoon) at night before we go to bed. Maybe something like that is in order Friday You have good ideas, Chris. It will be even more fun before I'm the boring (but oh so loving one.
Did I mention (probably so), that our therapist said I was born to be a mother? For a women who never wanted kids and who doesn't naturally attract kids, this is pretty much the biggest compliment of my life.
05-07-2014, 05:43 PM
it certainly sounds as though you were born to be a mom! I never wanted kids either, babysat once and decided I would never do that again! And I tend to have to be the disciplinarian, mostly because I am there. So it is fun for them to be "bad" with me. Of course I am also the one who does most of the fun stuff, because I am there, but I try to make sure that what we do together when he is away is something he doesn't want to do and wouldn't love if he knew.
This is the kind of thing that they remember for years.
05-09-2014, 01:13 PM
So, now we watch a TV show every night before bed. I can't stand TV, yet here I am. Right now, we're watching Tera Nova. Not what I'd pick, but, hey. They really like that I'm there with them.
My guy seems to be doing better. Not that the hurts, pain, or guilt are gone (nor will they ever likely be gone), but he's managing and managing well. The safety plan is a big pain in the rear, but it's very much doing its job. The middle guy is recruiting his older brother to possibly make me something on mother's day. This may not happen - but they talked about it. We have been VERY careful to not mention mother's day -- it is a very hard day for most foster/adoptive kids. Doesn't mean they love me, but they think enough of me to consider doing something special for me. It's these little things that make me happy.
Anyway, down a lb or 3/4 lb or something like that. I'm only sorta keeping track. Still 40+ lb from where I was this time last year, but all I can do now is work on going back down.
05-09-2014, 01:44 PM
know in your heart that mother's day this year is for you, whether or not they actually do something, that they thought of it before Sunday is huge for teenagers.
Maybe while you are sitting there you can knit? For me producing something while watching tv makes it bearable.
05-09-2014, 03:39 PM
Ooh, knitting. I was just thinking I needed to pick that back up!!! Once I get good again, I was going to make a throw for each of the boys. Not that they'll use it..........
05-09-2014, 04:29 PM
nice to have at the foot of the bed for proof that you will take time to make something for them.
05-09-2014, 05:35 PM
You might be surprised.
My sister makes fleece tied blankets. Everyone in my extended immediate family has at least one (I have three). She makes them to fit the person-- my son is a Dallas Cowboys fan so he has a Cowboys blanket. My daughters have blankets in high school and college colors.
Many people in our larger extended family actually beg her to make them a blanket. She makes them for our large (50-100 people) family Christmas party gift exchange. They're so popular people would search for what they thought was a blanket, until she started disguising them.
When it's chilly, we can all be found with theseblankets over our laps. In fact, one of mine is draped over my lap right now.