159. Yay. I'm gaining on 150 (by gaining, I mean losing).
I've spent my entire life being overweight. Either disliking my body or trying to "diet"...that's taken up a lot of my time and effort. Oh, well. It has certainly shaped who I am. Someday, I hope to help other women lose weight. All of this experience has to be good for something!
In my early 20s, I dropped a lot of weight...to about 147. I did weight watchers. I'm amazed at how resilient the body is, because I sure didn't treat it very well. This was a typical day of food: 1 cup Fiber 1 cereal + 1/2 cup skim milk; 1 weight watcher meal or chicken "taco salad - chicken, iceberg lettuce, salsa, 12 tortilla chips; 1 bag light microwave popcorn; 1 weight watcher dinner + corn cob; 1 sugar-free fudge bar. I ran 1 hour/day, plus walking an hour at night. No wonder why I couldn't maintain...hardly any veggies or protein or good fat. Seriously, is it any wonder that a few years later my body rebelled (adrenal fatigue - if you believe in that kind of thing, PCOS, etc.)?
Have you guys read this (also free)? It’s finally here! Fuck Calories! :: stumptuous.com [there are some F bombs in there, but if you can skip that, there's some good information]. Some good stuff, actually. I'll try to thing and summarize more later. But, here are a few quotes I like:
* If you don't like the output your body is giving you, fix the input. That means everything. Your food, your thoughts, your feelings, your life.
* Your body can't talk, so learn its language. Pain is a language. Food and eating is a language. Anxiety, fear, and distress is a language. Disease is a language.
* Always assume your body is looking out for you, even if its actions seem misguided. There's a reason is says or does what it does...All it wants is to keep you alive and loved.
* If your body is unhappy, get real with yourself. Do what is in your power to fix it.
* How's that working for you? -- What evidence of your own experience show you to be true? Are your choices and behaviors actually taking you where you want to go?
* Have compassion. Your body is going the best it can. [I am SO mean to my body!]
* Junk the self-criticism sh** along with the sugar. [Dear friends...I know many of you are need this...just like I REALLY do.]
* As you live, so you eat.
* Your relationship with food and eating is your life. --> If you rush through food, you probably rush through life. [This is me to a T] If you furtively and shamefully, you probably carry other secrets. [Worked a LOT on this] If food is your release, you are probably over-burdened and over-responsible elsewhere. [YEAH baby, this one rings of truth...and I can see when I've downsized some things in life how this has gotten better.] If you fear deprivation, you probably need more abundance. All of this is negotiable. You can change this.
I love eating primal. It makes my body beyond happy. But, I'll tell you one thing, without addressing the underlying psychology of many of my habits (which go way beyond eating or not eating grains), I won't be able to do this for life. I've made good progress...but I need to keep at it.
Enough for now Happy Saturday.