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Thread: Primal Journal (RMS) page 202

  1. #2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by RMS123 View Post
    I do have to look into it...I seem to remember it just goes away.

    I'm terrified at the thought of quitting my job. What if I'm not a good a good mom? My job is what has defined me for a long time. I know I'm good at it. What if we need the money? Maybe I won't be able to find another job. Sigh. Fear sucks.
    All of those thoughts/fears are normal.
    I had wanted my career from the time I was 6 years old. I started saving for college as an young teen babysitter. I put myself through college, got my job, loved it.

    Met my future husband, put him through college. He got a job in another state that did not have credential reciprocity and we could not afford for me go back to school with out of state tuition costs.

    After a year we decided to start a family and I had always known I would, given my chosen career, either be a SAHM or not have children. We/I chose children.

    My childhood was not good. In fact, it was horrible so I worried about my parenting abilities. But I LOVED being home with my children.

    Was I a perfect mom? Absolutely not, who is? Did my children survive, turn out well? Yes!!!

    My children are my greatest accomplishment. Even now, with some very real fallout from my choices(my marriage did not survive), if I had it to do over I would still choose to put my children first.

    Each of us must search what path is best for us-- career only, career and kids, kids and no career. Each choice comes with rewards and pitfalls. There is always fear when looking at significant change. I say hope for the best, plan for the worst. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

    And, in the end, we can always change direction when it becomes too hard to continue on the path we are on.

  2. #2012
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    ^+1, what she said. (well with a few changes in the personal details, obviously).

  3. #2013
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    Since you are adopting out of the foster care system, let me give you a couple of other tips.

    1. You do not need an adoption lawyer. The forms are readable and everyone is moving towards the same end. You can fill out the forms and take them to the court and file them yourselves. Saves $$$$

    2. Negotiate for a continuance of monthly support before you finalize the adoption. If you wait until after it can be very difficult if not impossible. Tell them you are planning to quit your job. Plans can change if you don't have to quit once the kids are yours.

    3. If the kids are special needs, you can get a huge tax credit. Check with your tax guy or adoption support group for the max benefit. If you do not spend tons of money on the adoption ( like no lawyer used) this money can go to you. The fact that the kids are older ( harder to adopt) or if you get a monthly payment after the adoption is enough to qualify you.

    Our adoption cost us less than $500 but we were able to get >$10,000 in tax credit because we qualified. Ths money can go for whatever you need or choose. You will know what the kids needs are likely to be after you foster them for 6 months to a year. If you still have concerns/ doubts, you can stall for a few months as needed. While CPS wants these kids adopted quickly, they can also help with many resources as needed. Let me know if you have any other questions.

  4. #2014
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    MF - thanks for the advice. I did not know such things existed. Now I've started researching!

    So glad to be home. It was a nice weekend, but not as restful as I would have liked since we had company.

    Here's where I am. I'm exhausted. The weight is up and NOTHING fits. But, I'm feeling better because I have resolved the job situation and hoping that today/tomorrow I start getting back into the groove of things.

    I have resolved the job situation. It was not an easy decision. The right decision? Who knows. After much thought and contemplation (and prayer), I decided to keep my current job. To get FLMA, you have to have been with a place 12 months. And, I'm able to use all of my vacation (28 days), plus my carry over vacation (10 days) and buy a week (5 days), so most of my time off can be paid. In addition, my boss (who had to go to her boss, the president of our affiliate, and the VP of the main company) was able to get me a rotational position (for the next year) and I negotiated a $10k increase in pay over the next year. We also have an agreement to work on a permanent grade increase and figure out if part-time will ever be an option (my ideal). It's not perfect, but allows me to save some more money in the event we decide that I can/should stay home after the adoption. And, maybe we'll figure out a part-time option (not likely, but a girl can dream).

    The weight front is bad. NOTHING fits. It's not been good. I had 4 "decent" days while traveling. I now need to get in the groove. I believe I'm going to go back to ADF and more strict Paleo. The relaxing that I've done to feel normal has done nothing but exacerbate the exhaustion, make my stomach feel awful, and contribute to the massive weight gain.

    I FINALLY got my blood work last Friday. I need to call the doctor (who hasn't called me, though I know the results came in on Monday) and see if anything came out in the blood work. Probably not (I'm assuming she would have called me if so). That's both good and bad (I was hoping something would show up that might explain a few things).

  5. #2015
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    Great news about the job! Funny how companies make improvements when they know they have a serious threat to loosing great employees. Kinda like a spouse who pays you more attention when they realize they have competition. I wish we all could harness this drive everyday. Imagine what we would get done!

    As for the clothes, go buy a great ( hopefully cheap or on sale) outfit or two that fits you now. I always seem to loose weight when I do this. Plus you deserve to feel good in your clothes while you sort this all out.

  6. #2016
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    ^What she says! It does not do a person any good to have to walk around in clothes that are uncomfortable for whatever reason. Hit the thrift and/or Goodwill and you should be able to come up with a few things at reasonable prices.

    What if you just start with ADF while easing back into Paleo? Or vice versa? Jumping into both, depending on how far from either one you have drifted, seems like a lot given your general stress levels.

    p.s. congrats on the job decision, what is FLMA? And what are you buying so much time off for (did I miss something or forget?)

  7. #2017
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    So glad to hear you have the job front figured out. It sounds like a good plan. As for the clothing front, I hear ya and feel for you. I am in the same place.
    Karin


    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

    What am I doing? Depends on the day.

  8. #2018
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    Chris- Family Medical Leave Act
    Karin


    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

    What am I doing? Depends on the day.

  9. #2019
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    Thanks, still clueless, but at least now I know what the letters stand for!

  10. #2020
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    Update soon. Will answer your question :-)

    Sent from my SGH-T999 using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app
    -- Ruth

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