Primal Journal (sbhikes) page 52

[palebluedots]

my friend who is a psychologist always says: "Never make a big decision when a small decision will do".

That's why I suggested taking a trip. Go visit Paleobird and then maybe spend a few days alone. Sometimes when you're all alone, you can get better perspective. Then you might be able to remember all the reasons you were attracted to him in the first place. Or you might find there are things you miss about not having him around. Or you might just feel extreme relief and know that you're on the right track.

Doing something to improve your situation is always better than doing nothing. But you don't have to leap off a cliff when there's an easier path you could follow. Gentle does it.

[sbhikes]

Well, as someone who spent two summers walking alone in the wilderness, I already know being alone. But maybe a little vaca would be fun. I have a lot of weekends booked for a while.

Mr. Sicky is leading the Sierra Club hike today. 15 miles in the blaring hot sun. How can he be both on his death bed one minute like a super human the next? What he really truly needs is to retire already. That's probably what is killing him the most.

[Sabine]

That's a tough situation. As a bit of dark humor, if he got so bad he was completely dependent on you, you could feed him exactly what you like, and he couldn't do a thing about it.
Good luck, sbhikes.

[Paleobird]

That's a tough situation. As a bit of dark humor, if he got so bad he was completely dependent on you, you could feed him exactly what you like, and he couldn't do a thing about it.
Good luck, sbhikes.

Oh, Sabine, you have and evil mind. I like you

[Pony500]

Hey Pony!

I would like to have the brand name of fulvic acid/humic complex you are using. I know what you are talking about here, but I haven't tried it yet, and would really like to know how you decided on a brand/what you are using. I do battle with the Sugar Dragon, too. Thanks!!

Hey Crabbcakes, the fulvid acid I use is Supreme Fulvic acid Humic acid Supplement - Maximum Benefits. I started using this brand because my sister-in-law and brother are working with a naturalpath and she suggested that to them, so that's the one I went with. They have a lot of info on their site too. It doesn't taste like much--I drink it down in a measured cup that I got with my liquid B vitamins. I've only been taking it for just a little over a week now, and I can't say for sure that's what's helping me with my cravings, but it's a noticable difference that I just started to experience this week. I also just seem to not be so hungry and wanting food all the time as well--again, not sure if it's from that, but it's the only thing I've added other than the liquid B vitamin, so I'm guessing that's what's doing it.

[palebluedots]

I am curious, do you and the bf ever do stuff together? It seems like most times you mention him, it's about the things you each do on your own. Aren't there things that you share and enjoy doing together as well?

I know you've mentioned a bunch of times that you enjoy the financial stability he offers you. Perhaps the cost of that to you is to put up with the things about him you don't care for. But then again, you could be preventing yourself from meeting the real Mr. Right, or him from meeting the real Ms. Right.

It just doesn't seem from your prior posts that you're really all that into him. But that could just be because this is your place to vent?

[sbhikes]

Yeah, I vent here. We both work full time so there's not a lot of "doing" of anything during the week. On weekends we go hiking.

Yesterday we went for a 14 mile (not 15) hike in the hot sun. The trail was mostly level so it was easy. I wore my heart rate monitor and except for a couple of hills, my heart rate as about 104. But it was really hot. I ended up drinking too much water without enough salt, which isn't good. I should invent some kind of powdered salt drink I could take. Maybe true lemon and lite salt would work.

We stopped at a pool of water we found in the mostly dry creek. We all sat with our feet in the water and let dozens of little steelhead trout nibble our feet. It was really fun.

There was a nurse on the hike and so my BF asked her about his blood tests. She told him all the same stuff I told him: it's probably an anomaly, it doesn't matter that the same blood cell measured low normal once, don't worry about it, it's not a problem, they had to ask you the questions on the phone because it's their job, not because they think there really is a problem. I think he listened to her.

There was a bus driver on the hike who was originally from Egypt. Turned out he didn't eat breakfast or lunch. Toward the end of the day he was getting pretty hungry and started fantasizing about stopping off at that same ethnic market where I've been getting all my odd bits. He really wanted liver and onions and some chicken gizzards. He told me how to make chicken gizzards so maybe I will give it a try. Of course everybody was grossed out by us talking about all the great odd bits we could eat.

It struck me that on this hike I was the healthiest and most fit person on the hike. Everybody else was complaining about brain fog, chalking all their aches and pains up to age, the nurse was pushing OTC proton pump inhibitors and other CW dietary nonsense. I'm just hiking along in my sandals, feeling great, the heat not bothering me, no pain, I could have done the whole hike all over again. I kept my mouth quiet the whole time they were talking about weight loss plans. I really wasn't into telling all these people who wouldn't care or understand about the stuff that works for me.

[sbhikes]

Here I am on the hike yesterday getting a spa treatment from dozens of little steelhead trout. You can see my homemade sandals. They were great to hike in. As you can see, even though I am fit, I am also kind of pudgy or maybe the better word is stout. I don't think I'm ever going to be slender. I'm probably always going to be a chunky tree-trunky stumpy shorty fatty lady.

[Crabbcakes]

When I was a kid in Texas, brother and I would go dumpster diving behind the local Piggly Wiggly for all the old cans of Cheese Whiz the store threw away there. Then, we would head out to the crick behind our house. Did you know that minnows LOVE to nibble on Cheese Whiz sprayed on the toes?? It tickled something fierce.

Your sandals look fantastic - really. I would absolutely snag those from you, given the chance. I love sandals, too. It is mostly what I wear.

My legs are "muscular". I have always wished for longer, thinner, more model-like legs, but God has decreed that I am to have Hessian Peasant Potato Field Clay Stompers. Now, I almost don't care, as long as I can get to the point where I can out-work, out-play, out-walk, out-anything all of my kids for as long as possible into old age.

[KerryK]

I've been away and catching up on journals and threads. Just wanted to say 'hang in there' and definitely plan that trip down to PB sometime when you can!

And as for legs, even skinny ones don't look their best sitting smushed on a rock but think how fab those lean yet muscular legs will look in 10 or 20 years compared to aged, weak skinny legs that can't stand up (ha!) to all the hiking that yours will... and they look pretty darn good now, too!