Operation: Hot Wife (Starting Over, Doing My Best) page

[PrimalBaker]

Okay, this is my first entry as PrimalBaker, formerly KrisC. I stopped posting here because it was taking forever to load the forums, and if I did manage to get in, I couldn't log in. VERY frustrating!

Since my last regular forum visit, end of April 2011, I have made the move to NJ from Germany. I knew moving back to the states was going to be tough food-wise. I knew, especially coming to the northeast, I was going to want to taste the foods I grew up with, taking in those fantastic tastes that would flood my brain with memories. And so I gave myself some time while trying to moderate it with Primal as much as possible. So I enjoyed some pizza, some bakery goodness, some pasta dishes, the sub sandwiches loaded with meat and veggies (this is not a Subway sandwich but a NY style meat loaded sub). It wasn't constant but I did have enough. Pasta? NEVER AGAIN! I felt awful! But I'll gladly have the meat or seafood from the dish along with the sauces. Subs? Nope, just meat and veggies please! But I still have the occasional slice of pizza, maybe twice a month, one slice only.

Being overseas (we spent 4 years between Spain and Germany) meant little in the way of fast food. Here, the family wants McD's, BK, Taco Bell, anything and everything. My husband is probably the worst since he will not have anything to do with Primal. He thinks I eat bacon too often, eggs too often, not enough grains. He won't stop me but he does get frustrated when I don't want to eat at the sub shop for lunch. (They only have subs, no salads unless it's a pasta salad.) He counts calories with crazy regularity and sticks strictly to it. If he's consumed his daily allotment, he is done eating for the day even if he gets hungry later. Then he ends up bingeing on ice cream or other dessert food. Who's setting a worse example, me and my bacon and eggs or him and the bingeing? I am glad he's lost weight over the past year, but it's been small (10 lbs?) and it's not been easy. I've lost 2 dress sizes (not sure on pounds, but it's fat vs muscle so my scale tells me nothing). I still have more to go but that's for later in the story. He just completed another marathon, 4:02 time which is great but he's mad that he missed his goal by 2 minutes. I am prepping for a half marathon in January but I have no set time I'd like to finish by. I just want to finish and have fun doing it. I am thinking fun is more Primal than frustration. Not that I think goals are wrong, quite the contrary. But when missing your marathon goal by 2 minutes makes you so upset, it can't be healthy.

So, I began Primal on February 14, 2011. I experienced carb flu for 3 days and a mild case compared to others I have read about. I followed an 80/20 plan quite well, more 85/15 or 90/10. I have since slowed to 60/40 and now I want to get back to the 85/15 I was feeling so great on. My fat loss has stopped, I haven't done much working out, my tummy feels yucky. So beginning today, November 1, 2011, I am back to the true intent of Primal. I have reread the first PB book, I even purchased the 21 Transformation for a jump-start. I have a half marathon in January I want to do well in (having fun is first and foremost but I don't want to feel exhausted). I have trips in April and May I want to look good for (cruise and Hawaii). I have 3 kids I want to set a great example for and I have a husband I want to look great naked for. And maybe, just maybe, he'll see how much energy I have while running, working out, doing my everyday thing, how awesome I look, that he'll jump on the Primal bandwagon with me. I want to live to be at least 92 and I want him to do the same. I don't want to rely on pills. I don't want him to either. I want to feel awesome every day of my life. I want to look amazing, not for my age but just amazing.

I have a goal: by my 40th birthday (January 2013) I will be in the shape I have been wanting to be in, have worked hard to get to, and I will continue to get stronger from there. I am going to be a Hot Wife (and Hot Mom too)!

[PrimalBaker]

Halloween sucks! Only because my willpower has been in the toilet and I've eaten some shitty candy. No one gives out good quality dark chocolate bars to the kids. Twix, M&Ms and Nestel's Crunch. Yum! But horrible. I need to take some responsibility and tell myself NO! Who's the grown-up here anyway??

So, the husband is gone this week. The kids and I were watching TV last evening and they heard a news story about nutrition. And we talked about their school lunch menus. Iv'e been trying to make them more aware of food choices and health and nutrition, and I am lucky that my kids are willing learners. The Sweet Boy told me about how he is always hungry and I taught him about his carb-laden diet and how it actually makes him feel hungrier in the long run. I told them all how I would prefer they eat the way I do but I know that since Daddy doesn't they are more likely to stick with what they are used to. But I wanted them to understand their choices. They get it, they really do. I know they won't give up tortellini or spaghetti or pizza anytime soon. But I think they are more willing to add fats and proteins and cut back on their carby foods. They were almost shocked to learn that fats are actually good for them, even, or especially, saturated fats (in some forms). They were a bit surprised at the different forms of sugar and how it hides in all sorts of foods that don't seem sweet. I told them how I have so much more energy now since I cut out the traditional SAD carbs and added more meats, nuts, veggies, fats. How I can workout and feel energized and not tired. How my moods are better (they did notice that).

And what did they eat for breakfast this morning? The big kids asked for eggs! YES!! I asked them to tell me how they feel before lunchtime today. Were they super hungry or was it better compared to yesterday? Can't wait to hear about it. I know they won't go all Primal. Not with the husband preferring SAD. But this week, while at the house, it will be Primal all the way. Maybe they'll feel different, better, and want to continue. Oh, and they both said they'd be ordering the salad for lunch (comes with a "protein cup" which I was told is generally chicken or tuna). The Girl usually gets the salad but I don't think she adds the protein to it. She will today. And the Sweet Boy is forgoing the corn dog!! I wish they'd bring lunches from home but the husband got them into buying lunch. At least the are learning to make healthier choices. And the Little Guy often brings his lunch since he is a picky eater.

The Little Guy. He is a carb addict. Crackers of all sorts, waffles for breakfast (and not homemade waffles; the husband has ruined him!). Chicken nuggets. I wish he'd be okay with homemade chicken nuggets with maybe almond flour or coconut flour as the "breading." Again, the husband has ruined it. At least the Little Guy loves cheese, and I only buy good cheese, so we've got that. And apples. And yogurt. I wonder if there's a way to get the husband on board with me so I can keep my family healthy.

Okay, today's breakfast was bacon and eggs. I need to buy more spinach so I can add that and feta again. Lunch is going to be tuna on lettuce with tomato. With mayo. And dinner is whole roasted chicken (YUM!) and veggies. I must get me to the commissary ASAP to get some veggie goodness.

2 days of being more Primal aware with small deviations for Halloween candy. I've been aware and am getting myself back to full Primal and best health. Primal all month except Thanksgiving. I am allowing for stuffing, mashed potatoes and a roll. I allow white potatoes because I don't find them at all "evil." Plus I hate sweet potatoes. I don't eat potatoes often, generally only when I know I will be doing a harder workout the next day, or the day of my harder workout. Plus, they can be a PITA to make (I never use the bagged kind, homemade only!).

[PrimalBaker]

So the flu has entered my house, aCK!!! The Sweet Boy has been suffering for a day and a half but at least he's in a good mood. Between that and the flat tire on Wednesday, these things only happen when the husband is gone. Of course.

So the big kids have both eaten eggs for breakfast each morning since Tuesday! NICE!! They've both noticed that they aren't so hungry in the morning before lunchtime. I wish the Little Guy would do the same. If I could get the husband on board I might be able to change Little Guy's eating habits. I am going to try hard to get the husband on board. We have a trip to Hawaii coming in May, a cruise for the family in April. I know he would love to feel 100% confident taking off the shirt on the beach, and I have the same goal for myself. I am going to try to get him to try for only 2 weeks and see if he notices an improvement. I know he will, and when he does I think he'll stick with Primal. Then I can get the whole family on board and it will be easier for me. I know I can eat Primally, I just would find it easier to make meals and save lots of money buying food if we all agree to the same thing. I just want a healthy family. Now, to figure out how to convince the husband to give me two weeks. He knows I've lost fat, but it's not that. He doesn't care to hear the nutrition reasons, and he uses the cavemen living short lives line all the time. He doesn't get why that's wrong. Seriously, he seems to net hear me talk about averages which include hunting deaths, mother and child dying in birth and the like. Maybe I can use the smoking analogy. He doesn't understand why someone would purposely put something into his body that knowingly causes death and misery. The crap food he eats does the same. I quit smoking, he can quit crap. Hmm...I need to work on the presentation.

[PrimalBaker]

The husband comes home tonight! Texting yesterday about what the kids are eating (or maybe it was Friday night?) and he agreed to support me. Maybe that means him as well? I can be hopeful. I need his full support in my own journey. I'd love for him to try some Primal fitness. He's always bitched about his love handles so maybe this can get rid of them and can prove why I believe Primal is right.

I've told the kids no more candy (Halloween crap) and ice cream today. The Girl has an ice cream every day at lunch at school. She's been going crazy with the candy (it must be in great hiding spots in her room). The Little Guy is carb-addicted. Crackers, cookies, carp all day long. He's the reason I started the texts with the husband. Little Guy ate on Saturday morning full fat yogurt (on sold in the area as the StoneyField YoBaby, so annoying and much more expensive) with a few M&Ms (a must as he's a picky eater; I am okay with a very small amount to get him eating the good part; life is full of compromises), cheese (cheddar or feta, can't remember which), and a pancake all in one hour. And he ate ALL of it. Not a single bite left. He was obviously hungry. But he eats carby crap all the time so I know he's used to being hungry often. Even the big kids said eating eggs before school has made them less hungry, or hungry later in the morning. So, I was just pissed about the Little Guy and his need for even more food in such a short time period. IF he would eat good food this wouldn't be an issue. ND it would cost us less in weekly groceries since they wouldn't all be eating all the time since the carby foods aren't properly filling their bellies, and also creating the addiction cycles. Then with the money saved on crap food I could buy the better quality meats, eggs and milk (among other things) I'd prefer us to be eating. I want us all to be healthy, be free of the diseases of civilization, to live a long happy life without relying on pills and doctors. For some reason my husband thinks modern science is okay, that it's okay to live with medications. He's not on any now, but I refuse to believe he'd be truly okay with that. I am not okay with it. I can't imagine traveling and worrying about where my pills are and not being able to truly enjoy adventures because I need to take a pill, or I am stuck tethered to some tank. NO!! I am going to be an adventurer, I am going to be the picture of health. I am going to be the best me I can be. I deserve that, my kids deserve that, my husband deserves that, not just in me but themselves as well. I am the mom and wife, it's my job to get them to where we need to be. I don't fail at any job I have!

[PrimalBaker]

Yesterday I got MAD!!! The husband claims to support me but he doesn't really. Here's the convo:

Someone mentioned a gluten-free diet at work. This chick had come back from being pregnant and had lost every bit of weight. she apparently looked great. Husband was told it was because of a gluten-free diet. He asked if PB was a gluten-free diet. I explained what PB is (yes, GF but also shit-free, no grains, meat and veggies, some fruit, etc...). He admitted that he just couldn't do it, he thinks it's insane. He says he cannot give up pasta and bread, that he absolutely LOVES Taco Bell and pizza and Wendy's and SHIT!! And he WILL NOT EVER give these things up. Surprisingly, he doesn't care much for meat. I didn't think that was true. He'd rather eat pasta, pizza and crap. Seriously. I get he might not like seafood; many people think they don't like it. Fine. But to say he'd NEVER CONSIDER giving these things up just really made me mad. He didn't understand why my eating bacon and eggs (and spinach and feta, the part he skipped) isn't a bad thing. He didn't fully listen as I explained why saturated fats can be and are good for us. How it's the trans and partially and fully hydrogenated saturated fats that are bad. He didn't listen about how cholesterol is not evil. How high carbs are not necessary, even to a marathoner like himself.

HOW am I EVER going to show him and our kids that healthy is good, and filling up (or NOT filling up as they never seem to get full) on grain-based shit carbs is not good for their health. Husband says he'll live to 90-something, that's his goal. I say, GREAT! I want to live long too, but I don't want pills, surgeries, doctors to be what keeps me alive until I'm 93. I don't know that he realizes the difference between a quality 93 years and 93 years helped along by things with god-awful potential side effects. I was SOOOOO angry at his comments and his big blow off of PB and my way of eating that I wondered if I could justify a divorce by reason of dietary difference. I wouldn't do that but I was just so mad.

For now, I am hoping to at least convince him to get rid of the CW junk foods. No more Cheez-Its, Pillsbury Cinnamon Buns, chips and other assorted crap. He at least admits he needs to cut those "foods" out. I even told him it's okay to have the very occasional piece of pie, cake, candy, whatever. He's seen me have the rare CW food, then he gives me shit for it too.

Well, I will go about my business of becoming Hot Wife. I will get in unbelievable shape, and relatively quickly. I will prove this works and maybe he'll be more open to PB. I don't expect him to fully give up grains and such, I'd just like to see less of it in the house on a regular basis. I think that's a good compromise.

[Mud Flinger]

You know, carb addiction is a very real thing. Just lead by example and stop bringing crap food into the house. Forget to buy the bread, pasta and crackers. It will probably take a while to purge your house of the crap anyways (I swear my teenager was finding crackers in our pantry for months after I stopped bying them). I bake primal treats for the family using almond flour and coconut flour - check out elanaspantry.com. Lots of great ideas and you can always use stevia for part of the sweetner as she uses lots of agave. Don't make a fuss about it, just say "this is what we have" and carry on. My family is primal by captive and because they are lazy; for the most part, they eat what I make. They'll eat crap when we go out, but it is rare so I don't sweat it (I never eat bread, french fries, pasta or drink soda - so I lead by example). I try to make primal versions of things they like. This is a journey and their tastes will change. My son (3) was so excited about halloween and his candy, but didn't like most of it and I often found his treats in the trash, barely eaten and now it's all been forgotten for the past week. Everyday paleo has some great ideas for a primal family as well. US Wellness meats has great hot dogs (order online). Just keep trying and you'll be amazed at the progress you can make in 6 months. Be sure to enjoy your family traditions - make the cookies etc., but try a primal recipe, use dark chocolate and other primal choices. You can do this!

[PrimalBaker]

I have not been online here in a loooong time! Now that life has slowed down (sorta) I am getting back on track. I also have some new goals so I am bringing my focus back.

Coming up in April we have a cruise so I am intent on fitting this blue dress I have that I loved back the last time I could fit it (2004 or 2005). MY husband graduates from this ASAM program in June and I have every intention of wearing the gown I wore to his OTS graduation/dining out in 1999. I am considering joining the NOAA Officer Corps, if they'll have me, and I will need better physical fitness, and soon! So those are some very serious motivators and they all come up in the next 4 to 6 months.

The husband has ordered P90X for himself. I have no interest in it for myself but I may do some of the plyo section, possibly the yoga. I already have a couple of yoga routines I love so I am not sure about Tony's yoga. I'll have to check it out. I do at least 10 minutes of yoga most days just because I love the focus I have with it. I have added more twice a week to add more of a workout. I know the husband is also going to try the eating/nutrition plan that comes with the DVD set. I am unsure about this, truthfully. I was hoping he'd be more open to Primal, and I know Tony Horton does endorse the Primal/Paleo ways of eating but I don't think he incorporates it into his nutrition plans. Maybe it's at least closer? Here's hoping.

In preparation for the P90X, the husband bought a pull-up bar! I've been wanting one for a while. I am beginning with Mark's first progression, using the chair and two legs. I WILL be able to do a real pull-up soon! I am on level 2 progression for the overhead press (essentially the downward dog push-up, that's how I think of it). I am doing push-ups against the stairs, on the 4th step now, maybe ready for the third step! The planks I can do, I just need to increase my time. And squats are easy for me too, though I need to increase reps and get lower.

I want to work on jumping, actual sit-ups (only because I may need it for NOAA but with 3 c-sections I find it hard to make both sides of the scar tissue talk to each other), and running. I want to be able to run a straight 3 miles (again, a possible NOAA requirement) at a reasonable pace. And I have committed to a full marathon next January for my 40th birthday. For that, it's all about the fun (I've done the course and the full marathon before so I know what to expect). I wouldn't have done it otherwise.

As for the marathon, I had to change my plans. I was going to do the Goofy; half marathon on Saturday, full on Sunday. I would have been 39 for the half, 40 on the full the next morning. I thought it would be a novel way to ring in my big 4-0. then I spent some time really thinking about it. I realized that if for some reason my training didn't go well or if something unforeseen happened and I injured myself on Saturday's half, I would be very upset to not be able to finish the full and earn the Goofy medal. Too important for my 40th birthday. But I know I can do the full. I've done it before, and on too little training. I plan to use a Primal-type training, incorporating the sprints, the regular intervals, and a weekly longer run. I plan on a run/walk method, but most of all I plan to have fun with the experience. It's a Disney race so it's always, for me anyway, about fun first.

If I hear about Paula Deen anymore I am going to go insane. It's not that she has diabetes, it's that it's being blamed on bacon, fat, butter, meat, essentially everything that Primal is and everything that has made me healthier. No mention EVER of the grains, the breads and pasta. And I am not even going to bring up the organic part because that part isn't necessarily the part that influences diabetes directly. The grains and gluten are the poison. It's more than that but I can't go into it more, I am getting mad. And THAT would not be very Primal of me.

[PrimalBaker]

The husband's P90X arrived a short while ago! I am going to watch the plyo and yoga sections later and decide when/if to incorporate either into my daily/weekly routine.

Trying each day to do a real pull-up on the new pull-up bar. I think within a couple week I might get one real pull-up out of it. Maybe. Just keep trying...Thankful for Mark's videos with progressions, very helpful otherwise I'd get discouraged.

Down 2 lbs in a week and a half in around my waist! It's a start and means I am doing the right thing. I am going to do my first round of sprints later, after the kiddos get home from school. Or maybe I'll do it before bus stop time. Either way, it will be done today. Looking forward to it!

12 more days until "the Reveal" of the list that guides my next 2 years. Ugh! Stresses me out, and I know that isn't very Primal. Fingers crossed for Hawaii, or at the very least Tampa. Or even Italy, but Hawaii is number one. I dream of the day I can enjoy nearly every single day outside in shorts and short sleeves, sunshine, warm temps. Just the thought alone makes me daydream about walks along the beach, hiking in green jungle, running with lush flora next to me, breezes and fresh air in my house without the need for full-time air conditioning , and absolutely NO NEED for the heat to be turned on. Ever.

[PrimalBaker]

The husband said today that I was looking a bit leaner! Woo-hoo! Ten days of watching my eating the way I should be (thanks to switching grocery stores!), this week of getting up early to work out. And the workouts haven't been much. Just a 15 minute or so yoga session with some extra planks and side planks added in. Push ups on the 4th step. And I've added in the first progression of pull-ups since Tuesday when we got the new pull-up bar. Weekly sprints begin tomorrow and I begin (again) the Couch to 5K program this week. Oh, and I am starting the Power 90 program as well. The husband is doing P90X; he is so sore. I know that is well beyond my level of fitness so Power 90 is a great start. Plus I have NO desire to devote an hour each day to working out. Power 90 is about 30-40 minutes, which is already at the top of my time limit. I only want to go longer in a yoga class or when I get to longer runs (and only once a week) later this year.

So, for running, I have a goal of 26.2 for January 13, 2013. That is the 25th anniversary of the Disney World Marathon. More importantly, it is my 40th birthday. I was originally going to run the Goofy weekend: half marathon on Saturday (when I am 39 years old) and full on Sunday (when I am 40). I realized that wouldn't work for me. What if I injured myself on Saturday? What if I couldn't get through a full on Sunday after the 13+ miles on Saturday and was swept? I'd be devastated! But I've done the 26.2 twice before and in worse shape than I am now and than I will be ever again. I will be in much better shape this year, already started. Plus, this will be my last full marathon. I only do these events once a year, maybe twice, and that second one is never more than 13.1 miles. Also, with Goofy I realized the large amount of training I'd have to do. I know I can do 26.2 with much less training and straining. And I plan on using the Galloway method. Plus, it's Disney so it is (and always has been) all about the FUN!

Okay, so I just need to keep my focus. Power 90 with the late April cruise and mid-May Hawaii trip as motivation. Plus, since the husband and I are both looking toward the same goals we will be much more motivating to each other. (I just wish he'd adopt the Primal eating style, or at least most of it, but I will let that go for now.) Goal of one real pull-up by the end of February. Goal of the blue dress by end of March, maybe early April. Just keep the focus on the goals. I CAN DO THIS!!

[PrimalBaker]

Started Power 90 today. 30-some minutes of mostly arms, a bit of legs. My arms were shaking why I was done; I will be in a world of hurt tomorrow AM. Also, realized my need to up my carbs when working out hard. I nearly passed out, felt kinda ill for a bit. I stopped the DVD and just rested and had more water while it passed. So today at the store I bought potatoes to eat the night before my harder workouts. Since I am adding more fitness in general I should be upping my carb intake a bit. I will do it little by little , adding only what is needed to feel strong enough to get through a workout and feel strong throughout the day. I also need to track my food for a bit to check my protein/fat/carb amounts in hopes of maxing my fitness and nutrition. I think I've got this!

Running after work tomorrow, yoga with the husband in the AM (only half the program, he's on P90X). I watched through the Power 90 Cardio and it mixes aerobic stuff and yoga. I need to work on running anyway so I will be swapping Tony Horton Cardio for runs. I think the results will be the same.