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Thread: Some people just don't get it... page

  1. #1
    MAlthaus's Avatar
    MAlthaus is offline Junior Member
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    Some people just don't get it...

    Primal Fuel
    I typed up a long blog post a few days ago on being primal/paleo, and included a few resources like links to websites, books, and so on. We've been primal since around September or so, and before that we made an effort to stick to real food, so we were already mostly there. I had no real problems giving up bread and sugar, and while I keep telling my wife that at some point I'm going to really want a scone, I haven't felt a *craving* for it yet.
    I've gotten some strange reactions to the post that kind of make me go "wtf?". One person mentioned that the average life expectancy 10,000 years ago was 22, so "yeah, let's all eat like f*cking cavemen". Someone else mentioned that bread was hard to give up, so "Just go as raw, unrefined, and complex-grain as possible. Whole wheat instead of white..." On another of my forums, a poster mentioned that they might have celiac disease, and I linked to my post on being primal and paleo. They replied "I probably can't go that hardcore though. Gluten free will be hard enough, honestly. "

    It kind of makes me want to put up pictures of the Picard facepalm all over the place, especially that last comment. I'm perfectly happy being primal, and I realize that I can't change the world. These sorts of reactions just really make my head hurt, though... I didn't reply to the last comment, because I can't think of a way to say anything without sounding condescending....

  2. #2
    Yvonne PHX's Avatar
    Yvonne PHX Guest
    It would sound condescending because it would be condescending. In all areas of life, it is best to not try to convert people to your way of thinking. It will simply frustrate you and quickly diminish your circle of friends. It is great that you are succeeding with Primal. Let that be enough. If people sincerely ask for advice, offer it, but don't get too invested in their outcomes.

  3. #3
    crackedpot's Avatar
    crackedpot is offline Member
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    I agree with Yvonne PHX - If people sincerely ask for advice, offer it, but don't get too invested in their outcomes.
    Setting an example is sometimes all one can do -

  4. #4
    Shanster's Avatar
    Shanster is offline Senior Member
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    I've had the same experience... I'm not trying to convert anyone at all ... when I tell them I'm trying this Primal eating for 30 days to see what it will do and what I've heard about it... telling them about ME, with no intent to talk them into anything - not trying to Amway them into anything at all.

    They totally FREAK OUT.

    They go on to say how hard core it is, how restrictive it is... how I NEED to eat grains... it's like they lose their minds trying to tell me how I should be eating - and what cavemen would have eaten and how long they lived etc. etc. etc. Tho' some of these same people have been on cleansing diets and other types of diets and when they told me about their eating habits, I didn't go on about what I thought they "should" be doing - figure everyone does what they need to do.

    It's very weird - people's reactions to food.

    Mostly decided to not tell anyone about my eating habits because most react so violently about how drastic it is and like you, I haven't really felt deprived or that it's been very difficult at this point (I'm 26 days in) ... if anyone asks I'm tellin' them, "I'm just cutting back on carbs" which is true and seems for the most part to be "accepted" in today's society. roll eyes.

  5. #5
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    hockeyfan7 is offline Senior Member
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    I can only speak from the Celiac disease/gluten free point of view, but if you've been eating CW your entire life and now you've just been handed a diagnosis of Celiac disease and told you have to give up all wheat/oats/barley/rye, it can be difficult. I was royally pissed that my body decided to do this to me. I had been following Atkins for 6 years when I was diagnosed with Celiac and I wasn't even eating gluten. Yet just the fact that I had been diagnosed ticked me off so much that I started eating all the gluten-free stuff I was allowed.

    A big part of the problem for me was that it was no longer a choice like following Atkins was. Now it was a necessity and something I had to do. I don't do so well with being told "you have to do this."

  6. #6
    Yvonne PHX's Avatar
    Yvonne PHX Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Shanster View Post
    I've had the same experience... I'm not trying to convert anyone at all ... when I tell them I'm trying this Primal eating for 30 days to see what it will do and what I've heard about it... telling them about ME, with no intent to talk them into anything - not trying to Amway them into anything at all.

    They totally FREAK OUT.

    They go on to say how hard core it is, how restrictive it is... how I NEED to eat grains... it's like they lose their minds trying to tell me how I should be eating - and what cavemen would have eaten and how long they lived etc. etc. etc. Tho' some of these same people have been on cleansing diets and other types of diets and when they told me about their eating habits, I didn't go on about what I thought they "should" be doing - figure everyone does what they need to do.

    It's very weird - people's reactions to food.

    Mostly decided to not tell anyone about my eating habits because most react so violently about how drastic it is and like you, I haven't really felt deprived or that it's been very difficult at this point (I'm 26 days in) ... if anyone asks I'm tellin' them, "I'm just cutting back on carbs" which is true and seems for the most part to be "accepted" in today's society. roll eyes.
    I think it was iniQuity who said in one thread, "The First Rule of Primal is: You Don't Talk About Primal." Sage advice.

  7. #7
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    lucyh is offline Senior Member
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    I wish there was a way to explain it so people would get it, but I've realized they just have to figure it out on their own. I had a long talk with a friend of mine recently. Her son was just diagnosed with Aspberger's, she has fibromyalgia, and is very overweight, her husband has sleep apnea. I sent her links, book lists, and told her all the benefits I've seen from eating this way. And this weekend she posted on facebook all about the hundreds of sugar cookies she made with her kids. This is one of my best friends, and she's heartbroken over her son's diagnosis, but I don't see her even looking into possible solutions. So that's that. I can't say anything else.

    It's so sad, because I actually did write a long post about my whole journey on my blog, and a month later got the best comment from a stranger who said that what I wrote really struck a chord with her, and she started eating primally. Within weeks her fibromyalgia symptoms and migraines have all but disappeared. It's amazing what eating well can do for a person. So I guess that's the silver lining, I think you can talk about it, but if someone isn't ready, you have to accept that it is their choice, but you never know when someone just might be receptive. Now I think the best course is to be sensitive, mention it when you think it could help, and then let it go.
    My Primal Journal with lots of food pr0n

  8. #8
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    demuralist is offline Senior Member
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    I am with the "I just don't talk about it crowd". But the OP apparently wrote an entry on his own blog. I don't understand people coming in and being offensive on someone else's blog. I mean if you don't agree, then stop reading and move on. There have to be thousands and thousands of blog, surely you can find one that fits in with your own eating habits.

    I know it is hard to watch friends suffer, when you have, what I consider an easy excellent solution. But there it is. I try really hard not to notice what they eat. My dh will not stop eating carbs, he will leave most of a portion of protein in the pan, then an hour later be hungry and pick up some cereal (he is almost out, and won't be finding any more I can tell you that much). He says "I have lost 30 pounds" as his answer. Of course it took 3 years. Well as of this week I have lost 30 pounds as well, and it took me 6 months. We will see how my continued weight loss and good health end up influencing him.
    Chris
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain."
    Unknown

    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread36279.html

    My "Program": doing my version of a 4:3 - 3 day fast diet with real food every day

  9. #9
    breadsauce's Avatar
    breadsauce is online now Senior Member
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    I've had friends comment on how well I look, how slim I've got - and when I say that my asthma has gone too, they are amazed. Then if they ask how - I tell them. Several have asked for links / info - then come back with "Oh I couldn't do without bread / pasta / whatever. You're lucky to have found a way of eating that suits you, but the same diet that works for one person doesn't necessarily suit anyone else..."

    So far, 2 friends have tried it and stuck to it. And now they are being asked how they lost so much weight, look younger, seem fitter. It is a ripple effect. If you can "convert" 2 people, and they "educate" 2 more each etc - it will gain a momentum.

  10. #10
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    I keep it simple and am trying not to talk about it because the odd looks and arguing is tiresome. I had to pretty much tell my sister to F off because I posted something on Facebook about wheat (probably something about Wheat Belly) and she put in some snarky remark about "getting healthy from bacon". But she is vegan so I can at least get tips on how to cook veggies and build salads (except she uses beans & corn a lot). We talk about healthy wholesome stuff but keep off the grains & meat topics. Fortunately she is open to discussing exercise as well, but the whole topic of health is very treacherous as she is a recovering anorexic who still holds very low self-image. Unfortunately the rest of my family does not think about food at all beyond the CW-healthy crap except to give my brother "healthy shakes" in the morning based on soy because he doesn't eat anything but grains & meat. No fruit, no veggies. At all. We're dealing with the most stubborn of stubborn here: a 13yo with Down Syndrome, but I also blame my parents for not figuring out ways to introduce this food earlier on (or working with a nutritionist...EVER). Anyway, at this point people are probably just sick of seeing my entries for primal giveaways show up on their FB feeds, but I keep the specifically primal/paleo stuff to myself unless it's on my personal blog. Nobody comments there anyway.

    Saying anything in response will generally get you riled up so I find it's best to either remind them that they're being mean on your "personal space" (seriously, tell them not to be mean, they will get so embarrassed that you are treating them like they are 5yo), or just leave it alone and know that you are right and eat some bacon.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

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