**PrimalRAW - Primal Journal**
My Primal eating has been GREAT in the past few weeks.
I quit my job because it was causing me to fall into a really bad mindset.
I do pay bills and everything but thats been taken care of with the little amount of savings I had so right now it feels like I get to start over. That feels good.
I think thats why my Primal eating is so good lately. I'm not stressed and I can concentrate on what I really need to do.
I'm eating alot of Seafood which is strange because I normally don't like it. Hmmm.
Generally I feel alot better about the world and my outlook. Unfortunately I don't feel quite as positive about myself.
Thats something I'm working on though.
Ummm, this is me!
I have had to gain 31kg and I'm sorry if I creep anyone out.
Oh and I look pretty bleh cause I just came back from a 1 hour jog.
I'm working on it!
My hair is all messy too. Sorry.
***I have had to gain 31kg and I'm sorry if I creep anyone out. ***
Quite the contrary, Primal. You look great!!!
Hi Primal Raw didnt you say you were in Australia?
I love the way of Priml eating sometimes i slip up but its only 1 meal per week.
Where abouts in Australia are you i am in Sydney? Do you know any good places to get good grass fed beef or are you using groceries stores local like me?
i am on facebook add me
Not cooking is becoming a real problem.
I need to work up the courage to start cooking, but I get horrible anxiety even thinking about cooking when my Roomates are home.
I guess I'm going to start with a completely Raw based diet with seeds and nuts to start with, I guess it's going to be Vegan for a while.
I'm cool with that. I need to detox anyway!
Thank you kuno1chi.
I have been thinking a few things over.Mainly that Primal eating is definitely the way to go for me. This is set is stone.Another is that I give too much power to my Eating Disordered thoughts.
It feels like suddenly I have looked up and after X years I'm still in the same position. Unlike my peers I didn't go to university or do any type of study.
I was running for 4 hours a day, counting calories, crying over eating lettuce leaf,purging food from my body, weighing myself around 15 times a day, reading books on Health and Fitness,fainting, constantly cleaning, suffering from horrible anxiety, etc.
Now it's depressing to think that I have lost all that time and for what? Here I stand 31kg heavier with permanent damage to my body with a shred of self esteem and a bombardment of negative thoughts every minute of everyday.
My friends on the other hand, go and experience University! They go out and have fun on the weekends and they get to cram in the last couple of days for an exam.
I wish I had that.
This brings me back to giving more power to my Eating Disorder menace.
-Everyday I don't do something proactive to better myself, the ED wins.
-Everytime I skip a meal or binge and purge in frustration, the ED wins.
-Everytime I think I negative thought about myself and believe it, the ED wins.
Well, you know what?
It's time for ME to start winning.
I have to reclaim my life back. It's NOT going to happen overnight, I know this. Just acknowledging that I feel this way is a step.
It's all going to be about baby steps. If I fail I will dust myself off and get back up.
You're beautiful, and you have friends here. Never forget that, okay?
We're all looking for answers...that's why we're here. Please keep checking in- we're here to support each other.
You can DO this.
I second kuno1chi!
All we can do with the past is take what strengthens us and leave the rest, sounds like you've got your feet on the ground.
Good luck working around the roommates, I feel ya, my closest friends are vegan (I'm mostly carnivorous) and often comment smugly on my eating habits (which affects me more than they know) they don't even know that I prefer meat raw!