the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 98

[cori93437]

I don't even know. I guess I was trying to tempt cori to share intimate details with us. Or just tease. I'm not good at that.

I went to prep beef shanks for the oven after creeping away...

I'd share I guess. But... I don't even know where to start.
It's just too big a can of worms.
I don't know if I can gloss the surface for the fun bits without dredging up the nasty stuff too.

Lets just say that I grew up seeing and experiencing some really serious abuse and violence, and my wires are crossed pretty badly.
It can be fun, and exciting.
But it can also lead to some really bad stuff.
Nightmare type stuff.

I married a very vanilla man on PURPOSE.
It was a conscious decision.
He will play a bit during sex. A bit of spank and hair pulling, maybe some light choking once in a while.
But he isn't into it, it's not his thing, and that makes it very safe for me.

I'm one of those people who can lose sight of appropriate limits in this area easily.
With the wrong person/people that is genuinely dangerous.
Both inside and outside the 'scene'.
At times I've been outright abused.
And other times the abuser I guess.
Not a pretty thing to admit, but part of the cycle I was in.

Playing outside the scene and manipulating a guy I was seeing into violent sex that was genuine, not play... and not his choice was the thing that gave me the big 'light bulb' moment and told me that I needed to stop. It was also a rather healing relationship in many ways because I was VERY much the person in control. I ended it when he wanted to start being a serious couple. I knew it had to stop and couldn't be allowed to grow.

I met husband after that and decided to try and have a healthier type of relationship.
(Husband would have never tolerated or stayed in a relationship with me that wasn't about sanity and equality)
It's been good.
He provides me with a balance that I need.

So, not a fun post i guess, but... it's what I've got.
It can be done better than I did it... just not by me I suppose.

[Saoirse]

thanks for sharing cori.

[drssgchic]

Yes, thank you.

[justyouraveragecavemen]

Yeah, I was expecting something a little more...cori I guess. Not something that makes me look out the window and take a *thoughtful pause*.
You're brave for sharing that.

[bloodorchid]

*squeezin on cori*

[namelesswonder]

Yes, all of the above. I am potentially dangerously curious and hope you did not share for feeling obligated.

[cori93437]

Thanks all...

No not obligated... I was thinking about the topic while prepping the shanks...
It just took a bit of circling around the brain pan to determine a safe way to approach the subject matter.
It's too personal for me to make a flippant remark or joke and leave it at that.

Plus... well... people should know the down sides that come with the perception of the fun and hedonism.

It's a still very much a taboo subject among most people...
and if someone gets in trouble/hurt/dead in those situations there is an air of "the deviant deserved it".

[canio6]

Yeah, I was expecting something a little more...cori I guess. Not something that makes me look out the window and take a *thoughtful pause*.
You're brave for sharing that.

^This. and Booter, quit stealing my answers

Seriously though, super brave.

[bloodorchid]

well then. upper back exercises make my broke area say a big FCK YOU. i took a nap, once my exhaustion won over the throb pains. i ate food.

mayhap i can make sandwiches out of precooked chicken breasts. they're thin enough i reckon.

i feel like shit, basically. but an empty bag of it. i sit here reading gawker, i'm sore, but my emotionals are shut down

but i miss this show. terrible cheeseballs.

'that's ASTOUNDING..'


but anyways

[drssgchic]

Some days it's helpful to have the emotionals shut off. Hope it doesn't last too long, though.

What is up with the icecream? I'm so confused.