Have you seen those wide brocade collars they put on grayhounds? Something like that for daywear?
All the power in that if it's a true masochistic relationship, when they day "done" it's done. But, you're right, there is a balance. And you would have to be very aware of each other to be that close to the edge. Hmm, maybe I need to look further into this . . . I'm all about leather