the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 62

[bloodorchid]

don't encourage the panda

[bloodorchid]

swing by and leak all over the chickens? They're pecking at the house again.

i don't mind shooing animals, i may even bring my dogs so they can be scared of the clucky fluffy scary things

i'm really hungry right now, i'm sure i'd be right there with you. after discovering that the pants which were literally falling off of me last year were just a little bit tight this morning, i've decided to take it easy on the food. and now i want food.

hunger is stupid



apparently i'm on a manson streak

the pms thread idea is a tempting one, i could fill 100 pages myself just by complaining about cramps and men and having to wear uncomfortable clothes because pj pants are frowned upon in public and bad drivers and how men piss me off when they act like women are just walking fleshlight holders and then say 'woooeeeeeee is meeeeeee, my gf is meeeeeannnnn'

oh yeah, that thread would explode with my rants

i gave in and glued my tens unit on. i'm only supposed to use it for the 30 allotted minutes but i keep turning it back on. i bought new batteries tonight so i'm set for at least a week. the on retainer masseuse i'm going to hire will also have to put this thing on for me because the reaching involved is uncomfortable

and dumb

[Saoirse]

hunger is stupid

it is. but so is clothing shopping because my ass won't fit into my clothes anymore.

[bloodorchid]

so a messenger buddy sent me a link to a DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS forum for a med and fruit juice cocktail to help enhance my muscle relaxers

i kinda think i would die if i enhanced them like that

also, a DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS forum cracks me up. it's all tie dyed and everyone's talking about drugs

so i decided to google some and came across a chronic pain forum. one thread was 'what can't you do any more?' and that was depressing

about 2 straight hours of electrical stimulation was enough and now that's uncomfortable. and so am i. but i can always go back to the DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS board and crack up at the obviously high ones

[drssgchic]

Move out here so you can smoke away the pain. Then Saiorse can pop down for a visit. It's a 7ish hour drive, so to make it worth it she'll have to spend the night . . .

I promise to provide Primal-approved munchies

[bloodorchid]

oh laws, the thought of a high me is scary

munchie foods are always good tho

[Saoirse]

Move out here so you can smoke away the pain. Then Saiorse can pop down for a visit. It's a 7ish hour drive, so to make it worth it she'll have to spend the night . . .

I promise to provide Primal-approved munchies

*wiggles eyebrows* make me into a REAL woman!

druggies are funny. i've only been high a few times and i didn't like it.

[bloodorchid]

ohh.. it's gonna be one of THOSE kinds of slumber parties i'll have to shave my legs then

and here is this, to make life a little better through the art of song

[drssgchic]

Never smoked myself- I have enough issues with inertia- but those I know that do seem to like it.

It'll be worth shaving your legs

[bloodorchid]

last night and today have been comfort food days. pms cravings helped with that decision. there's only so much i can say no to before i get to F it, i don't even care

while i was sleeping, the dogs got into one of my potted plants and yanked out and chewed up my aloes etc. this has never been an issue before, aside from a tiny puppy cookie adorably side gnawing a bush bean leaf last spring and bear trying to eat strawberry leaves. i don't know if 2 of the plants were poison. the guys are still hyper and happy. so poison fears aside, i worked for a month keeping the aloe alive, and the succulent was finally growing and coloring up. so dammit guys wtf

so cookie went first. hold him, point him at the pot, say NO and spank. put him down, look at the other 2 and with a calm voice 'ok, who's next?' and waka came to me and sat with his ears down. and i felt horrible. I AM A MONSTERRRRR BOYS I'M SORRRYYYYYYYYY

and after 2 more NO and spank, they're all bouncing around my feet like it ain't no thang. i suppose like most kids, the anticipation is worse

i still felt bad tho