the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 42

[DarthFriendly]

what's the recipe, dawn and lighter fluid? hell, get a few more people to pitch in and we got it

I'd always heard styrofoam gasoline and palmolive.

...but hey once we've renamed it Vagina, and ground the bones of it's former citizens into the dirt, we can build a rail road across it and call it the "Trans Vaginal Express".

Fig puckers.

[bloodorchid]

i.. seriously like that lol

[DarthFriendly]

i.. seriously like that lol

I know.

I'm just here to be liked.

(Well, that and spread the FAME AND GLORY OF ALMIGHTY SATAN.)

[bloodorchid]

i don't believe it, i think the like you feel from others irritates you like a case of herpes that won't go away

[DarthFriendly]

i don't believe it, i think the like you feel from others irritates you like a case of herpes that won't go away

Gosh, called on my deadpan sarcasm again...

...and herpes never goes away.

It's hiding out in the nerve clusters just waiting for it's chance.

I still like sluts.

[bloodorchid]

outbreaks :P herpes outbreaks

shut up

[canio6]

The really disturbing implication of that whole fracas was that somehow we should view sluts as less valuable than law students.

I've always appreciated sluts.

True, at least you know where they stand unlike lawyers.

[bloodorchid]

why are male sluts never open about where they stand :-?

also, this will always be true



i burned my food today, so i will make a horrible trophy wife

[bloodorchid]

my grandma has agreed to check my primal blueprint and paleo solution books out. my fingers are crossed. she said she isn't good with following direction (so that's where i get it from) but she's noticed i look like i feel better. her health is bad and i just want to take over SO. DAMN. BAD. i want to empty her pantry and fridge and restock it as i see fit. COCONUT OIL and BUTTER for ALLLL

reh-vo-lu-shun! reh-vo-lu-shun!

i was less weak and wobbly today, so high five whoever on that. annnnd.... i was shoulders-hunched-in pissy. everyone was too close. my clothes felt too weird. i wound up behind someone who looked and acted almost exactly like my very estranged ex. that was disturbing. but a lady at a closed register waved me over and said she was about to clean up and leave but she wanted to get me first because i was one of her good customers

thank you, nice lady. thank you. my degree of disturbed staring was about to get obvious

[bloodorchid]

stopped by gramma's, talked about the books and stuff, played with the bird then got super sleepy so said i was gonna head out before i passed out. felt bad leaving but i couldn't think of anything else to talk about and i don't think watching me yawn would have been enjoyable. but i hope hope hope she does read them. if she doesn't, i can guilt her into it. she likes me, she should be susceptible to my tears

i went to the health food stores on the search for liquid iodine, and pink salt. on thursday my iodine levels will shoot thru the roof and all my ills will be cured forever

for srs, i hope it does make me feel super awesome

and i spent too much, but my face will feel all clean like only hippie products can make it feel

my vitamins have stopped making me feel like i have Perpetual Rhinovirus

i walked all over, uphill, downhill, and did not get shaky weak

the windows are open and it feels AMAZING

and i got to flash my white legs today and snowblind anyone who looked