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Thread: the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 4

  1. #31
    TigerLily's Avatar
    TigerLily is offline Senior Member
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    OK, I shouldn't be laughing, but SADDEST. FACE. EVER. It's heart-breaking when they give you the cold shoulder treatment. Except when mine sneaks a peek over his shoulder to check to make sure I'm seeing him give me the cold shoulder treatment. And then I crack up.
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

  2. #32
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    they're such big babies, the shunner only looked at me when i reached in to unhook him and then he stayed under there for at least 10 more minutes and when he crawled out he looked so shell shocked lol

    he needed recovery time *eyeroll*
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  3. #33
    athomeontherange's Avatar
    athomeontherange is online now Senior Member
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    Love the alliteration of your title!! YOUR DOGS ARE SO STINKIN CUTE!! I have 2 yappy ones as well. They own all they see.LOL
    Karin


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  4. #34
    athomeontherange's Avatar
    athomeontherange is online now Senior Member
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    just finished your journal..love it!
    Karin


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  5. #35
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    yaaaay we love you too

    i realized something this evening. i am afraid to try sprints. will i look pathetic? will it not work? will i fail? or will it work? will it make me look smexy? or will i have a strangely shaped body due to whacked out hormones? what then? will i have to go to a plastic surgeon and get hip and breast implants to look more like a girl? will the transgendered women in there look at me going 'smh, stupid'? will i start the slide down a slippery slope to plastic surgery addiction and walk away, when i'm 80, with giant fake boobs and butt and face?

    but on the other hand, that will make me pretty popular in the nursing home

    but on the other other hand, do i want to be popular among the 80+ crowd?

    is it worth it? or would i be not remiss in joining a BBW modelling site, to get paid for eating steak lustily?
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  6. #36
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    bloodorchid, I am a contender for the weakest sprinter on the face of the planet. I "sprinted" up the very moderate hill in my neighborhood the other day. The total hill is 0.08 miles long (I google earth'd it when I got home, because I felt like a bad-ass thinking my sprints were long, ha!) It goes by the mailbox. I think the people checking their mail were laughing at me. I thought I was hauling ass, but in retrospect, it was probably more like a normal person jog, but with me laboring an awful lot. Despite all of that, I still felt awesome about myself afterwards, since I did go and run those 4 sprints, and those hypothetically laughing people went home to their TV's and couches and didn't run at all.

    The moral of the story: do it!

  7. #37
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    nike keeps telling me that too.. i guess i could just flip off any laughers, that would make me feel better
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  8. #38
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    i... am cranky. my back hurts, my ovary hurts, my dogs want me to play, i want to act like cujo at everyone

    without the whole bashing my brains in at the end

    i hurt, and i would like someone to fight with me so i can yell a while. it'll be like a boxing match, it's not personal and maybe a handshake after the concussion heals

    but really, a prolonged back massage would be awesome and if i were rich i would have someone on retainer with excellent tips so they would stay there

    i had an orange soda while grocery shopping, but broccoli slaw and green tea after. it doesn't even out but it could have been worse

    dammit my back hurts
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  9. #39
    Gay Panda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i hurt, and i would like someone to fight with me so i can yell a while.
    Gay Panda is trying to think of something inflammatory to say so that you can yell in print at me to make yourself feel better. Panda fail.

    I'm sorry that everything is hurting! :::sending psychic back massage:::

  10. #40
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    thank you for the psychic back massage it, along with a handful of pain pills and an hour of electro shock therapy calmed my s--- down some

    but if one were to feel obliged in throwing inflammatory remarks at me, one could say 'you have a little butt' which would receive a quick, enraged and affronted reply of 'i do NOT!' and the yelling could commence
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

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