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Thread: the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

  1. #3871
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    I'm laughing so hard, I can barely keyboard. That post with the accompanying video is the best I've read in ages! LOLOL.

    Pâté and terrines are so popular right now with the charcuterie/gastro pub crowd, that there has to be a small business opportunity in there somewhere. I'm thinking snobby Lunchable-type packs. Gelatinized meat and some some small slices of sourdough to go with it.

    "Our gelatin is only the finest grass fed, and our chickens run around in meadows teeming with wholesome bugs. The chickens are also required to do mandatory daily yoga. Our packaging is green and will break down in your compost pile in less than a week, providing your home garden with further nutrients. In fact, it's so green, that if you inadvertently throw it into a garbage receptacle, it will crawl out and find the nearest compost pile on its own."
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  2. #3872
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    Joanie, are you by any chance a fan of Portlandia? I think maybe you should write for the show.
    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

  3. #3873
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urban Forager View Post
    Joanie, are you by any chance a fan of Portlandia? I think maybe you should write for the show.
    Best compliment ever! I think I've only watched one episode. Hulu has some of them, so maybe I'll give it another try.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  4. #3874
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    Best compliment ever! I think I've only watched one episode. Hulu has some of them, so maybe I'll give it another try.
    I haven't watched that many, but there's one sketch in a restaurant where they order pastured chicken. It was pretty good but I think it could have been even better if they had you on their writing team!
    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

  5. #3875
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    is our glorious leader heading towards making infomercials?

    Get Certified

    i'm not sure how to adequately put into words how this makes me feel, but i do know those words aren't of positive emotions

    then i see the price tag and i'm all



    then i scroll up and see the free gifts that come with graduation and i'm all



    also i'm pretty sure my back died i just didn't feel it when i ate pills

    RIP in peace, back
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

  6. #3876
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    Invest in yourself! Pay me 800 of your US dollars...

    Yeah. What was inherent has become blatent. Meh. I ignored it all at the beginning, I will ignore it even more now.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  7. #3877
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    in the not too distant past i defended his blueprint store cause he had to pay for the forum somehow you guys gosh

    but now.. gah. hands thrown up, done defending his business practices. i just really really hope he doesn't actually start doing late night infomercials.

    the whole 'yeah it's gonna cost money' thing while sitting back on his nice sofa, in his nice house, didn't sit well. thennnn i saw the keychain and apron and binder, thennnn i saw the 800$, thennnn i saw the easy payment plan was 200$ a month.

    just no. don't. not like this mark... not like this.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

  8. #3878
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    Hey, even if he owns his home outright, property taxes on waterfront property in CA are exorbitant. The lad needs income.

    If he does an infomercial, he'll have to lower the price to $799.99. heh

    I think at this point, if someone told me they were certified in Primal, I'd fall down laughing, then crawl away as fast as I could, with occasional rolling on to my back to cackle again. The Y paid for me to become a certified aerobics instructor once. Nice paper, but I didn't learn anything I didn't know before.

    UF, I think I saw that same one! The couple left the table to go visit the farm, right? *chuckle*
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  9. #3879
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    Yep!
    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

  10. #3880
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    i keep christening the knives i buy with my blood and it's always by dumb accident. but the knife has a fancy red metal handle and i couldn't see the inside of my hand with this cut so i don't mind.

    i made pumpkin yogurt jello treats for the dogs. turns out i like them too. i don't yet know where the line between treat indulgence ends and diarrhea begins with pumpkin jello so they only got 3 each but they were eying my hands hard while i was putting it up.

    i almost felt bad, under the scrutiny of those pleading doe eyes. then i remembered they have duck jerky and salmon jerky and chicken jerky and they eat whatever i drop/hand them such as eggs and butter and cheese and cheesecake and then i stopped feeling almost bad.

    being gimped lately is getting to me more than it used to. i guess it's just wearing on me, and the pills are keeping me tired and easily wearable.

    a week or so ago i was talking to bay, he was at the tail end of a fast and getting hungry and mentioned he wanted the 'chicken nuggets' i made. chicken breast cut up, egg and parmesan coat and fried in a small amount of coconut oil. the conversation evolved to how some food is better when someone else makes it, maybe because of an emotional connection with the person.

    'baby, are you emotionally connected to my chicken nuggets?'

    'yeah'

    i'm tired. and i want to hug his face.

    i messed with weights for the first time in a while. my arms felt it, my butt felt none of it. i went into it to burn off anger at memories, the first shitty, cutting remark made by the ex at an emotionally open moment. back then it was like a sudden slap in the face, now i see it for what it is and i got angry. i didn't want to just sit and BE angry so i flung hand weights around.

    and after i just felt empty and even more sore

    until my guy called and teased me until i smiled

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

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