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  1. #3811
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    youtube and deep breathings through my nose. i did not even know i'd typed the S on breathing til i noticed something wonky in my peripherals. but yes, my brain is fritzing, i am dizzy, i am also pmsing, getting together with a new doctor is taking too long, it's hard to walk when dogs get under my feet and my looking down makes my head woosh then jerk backwards and my body tilts to the side. and i still want to cry. i'm not sure if it's because i'm miserable or because my chemically balanced wires are crossing.

    i dunno.

    but there's this. i enjoyed the book.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8s_1UcdoNI

    food has been chicken and broccoli and alfredo rice noodles and the occasional peanutbutter notcookie and eggs. i doubled the recipe and this time it's less crumbly and moistisher? it's not dry. i did good. i'll probably never recreate this. i'll spend my life fruitlessly trying and trying and never again reach this perfection.

    and i'm sleepy.

    i think it's just about bed time.

    god i'm miserable. around everybody else i deal quietly, but here and to bay i'll whine. i'm miserable. when will i stop feeling miserable for one reason or another.
    Last edited by bloodorchid; 08-06-2014 at 11:56 AM.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  2. #3812
    JoanieL's Avatar
    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
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    Chicken and broccoli sounds yummy and rice noodles alfredo sound divine! So does a cookie here and there. (Note to self: find these rice noodles.)

    Hope you feel better soon. Would you like some cheese with that whine?
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  3. #3813
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post


    Chicken and broccoli sounds yummy and rice noodles alfredo sound divine! So does a cookie here and there. (Note to self: find these rice noodles.)

    Hope you feel better soon. Would you like some cheese with that whine?
    maybe

    yes

    i will squeeze you til you're blue, because i feel bad and you're hugging me, so like a monster squid i'm latching on

    they were yummy *nod* so much lemon pepper.. MMM

    Thai Kitchen - Stir-Fry Rice Noodles

    i like them ^ they aren't curled and tangled together so i don't have to cook more than i planned on. it's only been several years since i went mostly gluten free, but things have gotten so much better taste and texture-wise. it's magical.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  4. #3814
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    ssn679doc is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    youtube and deep breathings through my nose. i did not even know i'd typed the S on breathing til i noticed something wonky in my peripherals. but yes, my brain is fritzing, i am dizzy, i am also pmsing, getting together with a new doctor is taking too long, it's hard to walk when dogs get under my feet and my looking down makes my head woosh then jerk backwards and my body tilts to the side. and i still want to cry. i'm not sure if it's because i'm miserable or because my chemically balanced wires are crossing.

    i dunno.

    but there's this. i enjoyed the book.



    food has been chicken and broccoli and alfredo rice noodles and the occasional peanutbutter notcookie and eggs. i doubled the recipe and this time it's less crumbly and moistisher? it's not dry. i did good. i'll probably never recreate this. i'll spend my life fruitlessly trying and trying and never again reach this perfection.

    and i'm sleepy.

    i think it's just about bed time.

    god i'm miserable. around everybody else i deal quietly, but here and to bay i'll whine. i'm miserable. when will i stop feeling miserable for one reason or another.
    damn... a horny Harry Potter....

  5. #3815
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    maybe

    yes

    i will squeeze you til you're blue, because i feel bad and you're hugging me, so like a monster squid i'm latching on

    they were yummy *nod* so much lemon pepper.. MMM

    Thai Kitchen - Stir-Fry Rice Noodles

    i like them ^ they aren't curled and tangled together so i don't have to cook more than i planned on. it's only been several years since i went mostly gluten free, but things have gotten so much better taste and texture-wise. it's magical.
    Squeeze away oh monster squid!

    Those noodles look terrific; I'll check out WFoods next time I go. Although, I should probably check Amazon first based on my experience with nori sheets - almost $1/sheet at WFoods, and something like 40c/sheet at Amazon if I'm remembering correctly.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  6. #3816
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ssn679doc View Post
    damn... a horny Harry Potter....
    they grow up so fast *tear dabs*

    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    Squeeze away oh monster squid!

    Those noodles look terrific; I'll check out WFoods next time I go. Although, I should probably check Amazon first based on my experience with nori sheets - almost $1/sheet at WFoods, and something like 40c/sheet at Amazon if I'm remembering correctly.
    i've heard it's called Whole Paycheck for a reason

    ...my armpit itches...

    finally got things squared between my old doc and my potentially new one, appointment was made for the buttcrack of the working day tomorrow, i. am. PUMPED.

    in celebration, i took the last zoloft. we party hard down south, ya'll don't even know.

    i'm finally getting not dizzy, i could kiss someone i'm so happy about that.

    i've reached the age where i prefer the music of my high school years over whatever's on the radio. makes me think of an oldie saying 'now this is REAL music' about doo wop and the kids are just side eying each other

    i found this thing at goodwill a ways back. the packaging looks like it's from the 40s and i like antiques and functional antiques so i picked one up, turns out they still make em. i don't know. but i'm gonna awkwardly chop up stuff to see how well it works.

    Kwik-Kut's Webpage

    now here's some of my music, damn kids

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z04VDnr5k4I

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbHfgXJKn1Y

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=araU0fZj6oQ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trinU3VD1Zo

    just wait for it.. wait for it.. waaaaait.... that scream

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLbHfOhJNR4
    Last edited by bloodorchid; 08-06-2014 at 11:57 AM.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  7. #3817
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    wellllll wellllllll wellllllll

    i just found this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPT-YdNLxCs
    Last edited by bloodorchid; 08-06-2014 at 11:58 AM.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  8. #3818
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    meh. it was too low energy.

    questions i've seen online recently towards men--

    what would my man want to see me in when i meet him after being in different states for a long time?

    will he like it if i pinch his butt?

    is it weird if i text him that i'm touching myself thinking of him?

    my initial response to reading them was goddamn are you kidding me wtf

    here are the answers

    1. NOTHING.

    2. maybe. damn.

    3. NO. DAMN.

    also, bay informed me last night that some of my selections are from the 2000s after which i informed him that i knew. damn kids think they know everything.

    met the new doc this morning, poor thing was very sweet while i was hanging onto calmness with my nails. explaining that i basically turn into a crazypants when i'm not taking zoloft regularly made her laugh. but uh. i was kinda serious. i realized i was standing behind the exam table while we talked and awkwardly apologized. but she was nice. she was nice when getting background info, she was nice when i only gave a short 2 sentence answer about my ex. i was surprised and on edge already, wasn't expecting it.

    'have you ever been pregnant?'
    no.. it felt wrong to say. but i said it to keep the questions moving.

    and i hate feeling like such an emotional mess. i just expected her to refuse to refill my things, i just expect people to be terrible then when they aren't it's such a relief. and my hands feel shaky. and bay's friend behaves just like my ex to his girlfriend, he was telling me last night and my insides turned to oily snakes and i hated that person like he was the ex.

    but he's not the ex. he's just a gaslighting cheater, he's not a rage monster.

    but i'm just a shaky emotional mess, i have more crazy pills, i'm gonna be okay

    eventually

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  9. #3819
    JoanieL's Avatar
    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
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    what would my man want to see me in when i meet him after being in different states for a long time?
    Nothing is good. Or anything from a Catholic school girl uniform to a black leather bustier and a whip.

    is it weird if i text him that i'm touching myself thinking of him?
    Only if you're a priest. But not this:


    I hate when people behave in a way that reminds me of past mistakes.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  10. #3820
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    cute pictures and dirty songs that went over my head when i was younger make things better, and there will be pictures. /r/aww did not let me down today.

    i did some push ups and bridges last night. i did them in pain, brain litanizing 'you deserve this' for being such an unattractive mess.

    to say that i think maybe i need to be on meds is an understatement. to say that i hope they kick in soon is also an understatement. because another withdrawal effect is that i can't remember sht for more than 5 minutes unless i write it down.

    i went to sleep late and woke up early, so yeah i'm sleepy. food was still bread-free. getting the doc and having her be a nice lady seems to have given me some hope. all these nice ladies feel like i'm being pampered. wee.

    i went by the farmer's market to pick up milk and butter. they had no butter and i'm not yet used to seeing nonhomogenized milk be settled like a giant glass tube of yogurt so i got cream. and real live local goat milk lotion. so soon i will make butter while covered in the mammary juices meant for growing young.

    some other nice lady tried to make conversation about it and i think my misery 'about to fall over, wanna sit and puke' face was discouraging

    i'm sorry, other nice lady

    some jerk animal ate all my growing grapes. i felt so cool that i had concord grapes growing outside. and some jerk ate them even though they were still sour.

    i hope that jerk enjoyed the diarrhea.

    but i'm so tired. and i've felt overly hot and sick all day. so yes i'm still miserable. but i didn't eat bread and i did some weakass push ups.

    wee.







    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

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