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Thread: the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 379

  1. #3781
    NoSaladWithoutMeat's Avatar
    NoSaladWithoutMeat is offline Senior Member
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    Whoever Bay is, he just said no to a rub down... THIS WRITING IS NOT BELIEVABLE.

  2. #3782
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
    I had a moment just like it when I spent an entire morning going over the PB before and afters, thinking why can't I be one of the hot success stories after 4 years... ;/

    Maybe we get emo when missing a certain amount of sleep?
    always get emo after no sleeping, but i'm also doing the 'what's going on with me?' i wanna be a hot after picture, but i finally figured out i'm so buried in my own head and emotions i don't even know how not to deal by eating crap

    i don't even know, man

    but hi though, long time no see

    Quote Originally Posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
    Oops. I replied to a post from way back ;s

    damn, MDA app, and damn technology!
    is okay, damn technology!

    Quote Originally Posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
    Whoever Bay is, he just said no to a rub down... THIS WRITING IS NOT BELIEVABLE.
    you would think his eyes would completely bypass 'vanilla lotion' and go right to 'rub you all over', but no.. i have a complicated man that doesn't want me to be close enough to sniff him

    i'm side eyeing you right now, bay. how dare you think consequences, smelling like delicious feminine desserts is not bad.

    ....there may or may not also be glitter. it was a necessary risk. it all just smells so good.

    JUST LET ME SMEAR IT ON YOUR CHEST SO I CAN SMELL YOU

    and i'm really tired like not sleepy but low battery tired. i slept sat night to early yesterday afternoon, that was a yay. but last night i was just... awake. in bed, lights off, awake. so i watched bob's burgers a couple times and aqua teen a couple of times.

    now i'm looking up better bird feed cause gramma's bird is growing feathers that google tells me is due to the wrong food, and of course the better feed is the grass fed beef of the bird world

    i dunno how she's gonna feel about it. i'm pretty sure the bird is gonna feel strongly about it. he's old and grouchy and very opinionated.

    'WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?! beak sweeps feed to the floor'
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  3. #3783
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    it was too damn early for a broken heart

    I died today - Imgur

    but the bald cardinal who just hung out outside the window was enough of a wtf to distract the leaky lump in throat

    birds are sweet and small and fluffy from a distance, they get close and all of a sudden it's poked out eyes here and bare wrinkly black skin there

    i want to get in a pool with a bucket of alcohol. i want soft shell tacos. i want to tan the backs of my legs. i want someone to invent the dog voice mod from UP so i can tell the boys it's okay if they go play without mom sometimes.

    found a new doc, get to make an appt now. maybe i'll be like 'i can't sleep, give me pills. i want slightly stronger zoloft, but not too strong. prescribe me a person to pat my hand when i get nervous. surgery me a new back so i can squat a lot of weight. give me a life coach.'

    pull me out of my head

    just point me in a direction and tell me what to do

    i'm so tired

    here is an alive dog

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  4. #3784
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    Haha, your posts make me giggle.

    I don't know what is it with them boys, they're afraid if anything girly touches them they'll start growing boobs. (Through try to convince any of them to eat well so they don't...)

    I thought it was a different kind of rub down, maybe you should have been clearer ;D

    What a funny observation about birds... I can apply this to many of my class mates too ;D
    One time I was walking home with a friend and some guy starting cat calling her and following her in his car.
    She finally turned. He looked at her for a moment, as if he'd eaten a tablespoon of salt and drove away.

  5. #3785
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoSaladWithoutMeat View Post
    Haha, your posts make me giggle.



    I don't know what is it with them boys, they're afraid if anything girly touches them they'll start growing boobs. (Through try to convince any of them to eat well so they don't...)

    I thought it was a different kind of rub down, maybe you should have been clearer ;D

    well i mean, you know, it's not out of the question or anything

    What a funny observation about birds... I can apply this to many of my class mates too ;D
    One time I was walking home with a friend and some guy starting cat calling her and following her in his car.
    She finally turned. He looked at her for a moment, as if he'd eaten a tablespoon of salt and drove away.
    oh lord.. i laughed

    i ordered the grass fed bird food. i was talking to gramma about what all i googled, she was like 'oh goodness, and it will have vitamins in it? how much does it cost' and i said 'uhhhh..' and she said 'uh oh, i can't hear you, are you on a cell?' and the subject got changed

    so i got grouchy old man bird 1 bag each from different, recommended brands. one bag was 13, the other was 9. do i lie to gramma so she doesn't get sticker shock? this is a bird that loves corn bread and fried chicken. also he's been eating the same bird and people food for the last 20 years and he's been bright and fluffy til now, is this the bird version of 'i feel fine eating punch and pie!' then keeling over one day?

    maybe

    but now he gets to eat healthy foods when he isn't eating cornbread

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  6. #3786
    NoSaladWithoutMeat's Avatar
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    Uh... Yeah I have an Italian friend who fed his dog chocolate and when I gave him the stare of death (dramatic hamster) he shrugged.

    That dog was almost twenty I think... So, either Italy has shit chocolate or that was the Rasputin of dogs.

  7. #3787
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    haha sounds like maybe italy has amazing chocolate if the dog's been hanging around that long

    and apparently buying bird food at walmart is basically like buying poptarts for kids. birds are confusing to me, give me a dog or cat or other 4 legged critter and i'm like 'they eat this this this this and this. bam!'

    birds aren't supposed to eat seed when their picture is on the seed container? what? i read the ingredients list on the grass fed beef bird food and it's just stuff like wheat and oats. this is what tropical birds are supposed to eat?

    but the poptart food has dehydrated fruit in it.

    i don't know man. so confusing.

    that bird better come out like a glowing adonis next week
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  8. #3788
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    yay

    live tweet a funeral, take selfies with the deceased





    yeah

    i needed to medicate last night so while i did sleep, i am somewhat wobbly and mouth mushy today

    no food sounds good

    but i'm hungry

    what do

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  9. #3789
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    i can't sleep.

    i can't. sleep.

    what.

    the fuh.

    k.

    WHY THE HELL CAN I NOT SLEEP



    WHY IS IT CHILLY OUTSIDE

    IT'S CONFUSING MY SEASONAL BAROMETER

    seriously though, it's kinda cold. and i couldn't sleep. so i'm base loading diet dr pepper caffeine out of irritation.

    there are little to no foods that i want to eat

    and the tea i made is too sweet and gross

    i need a handler dammit

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  10. #3790
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    that's not to say i didn't eat last night. i ate fast food til i felt like a balloon. i'm ever so slightly ashamed of that so i'm not going into detail the whats.

    as to why

    i think it was emotional. there was a complete and utter detachment after getting angry/sad after a conversation with a sibling. looking in the fridge i didn't want eggs, i didn't want peaches, i didn't want 'healthy foods'. i sighed and went to a drive through.

    i can't fricking stop eating my emotions. it would be much easier to go back to eating miniscule amounts of food a day, but that was when i was very heavily depressed and smoking like a chimney. but at least i wouldn't feel like a lard.

    and i've had just enough therapy with just enough therapists to know the ones around me are useless to me. i am literally learning more figuring my emotional shit out on my own. but WHY can i not care enough about myself to stop eating the food i know will tear my body up, why can i not stop being so apathetic about my health. i've got this handsome, athletic, sweet, funny, delightful man friend who can have anyone but he likes me

    and i can't get my head out of my emotional ass long enough to be more attractive for him
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

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