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Thread: the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 260

  1. #2591
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    Primal Fuel
    Just as an FYI I read your whole journal and you are wildly entertaining and relatable.

  2. #2592
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    for you, heregoes, for saying nice things, a quote;

    Scott Evil: I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!
    Dr. Evil: Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly.


    also!

    Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  3. #2593
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    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    bless you puppy



    the gods answered my joking calls for male cats to pee-ward the mice away. i couldn't find any electronic mice shooers yesterday, but last night whilst piddling around at the homestead i saw an orange tom's balls outside the door. i think 'what the..' then it sprayed the glass

    i mean yeah, i wrote about wanting a tom to pee around the house but that was just disrespectful

    the poison tray was untouched though, so i can't get too offended by tomcat ass

    also, there is literally nothing bear will not eat. bananas? yes. jalapenos? yes. and now cherries? yes. he is officially a black hole on feet, nothing is safe

    i've been dealing with a lot of feels, and come to an understanding with myself about some of them. after the understanding phase is over, it will be 'what do i do about it' then 'where is the motivation'
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  4. #2594
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    Cats rock. You really don't even need an intact one to do the trick. My neighbor claims he never had a mouse issue until my fixed boy kitty died.

    If I ever get a normal job with a steady income again, I'm thinking one of each - a small/medium dog and a cat. What do they say about the difference in temperament? Something like: A dog thinks, "this being feeds me, she must be a god." A cat thinks, "this being feeds me, I must be a god." I like both of those.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

  5. #2595
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    i think me setting up bird feeders lured them in. first one i saw was a long haired black cat in march, then a short haired black one trying to stalk birds a few weeks ago and now the orange tom pranced over to pee on everything

    i was a cat person before i was a dog person. if i only had one pup i'd be tempted to have one of each, and if i was lucky i'd have a shoulder cat

    i've always liked those
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  6. #2596
    ssn679doc's Avatar
    ssn679doc is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i think me setting up bird feeders lured them in. first one i saw was a long haired black cat in march, then a short haired black one trying to stalk birds a few weeks ago and now the orange tom pranced over to pee on everything

    i was a cat person before i was a dog person. if i only had one pup i'd be tempted to have one of each, and if i was lucky i'd have a shoulder cat

    i've always liked those
    I'm partial to shoulder humps like Eye-gor...... but only left sided humps....

  7. #2597
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    this is literally the first and only thing i can think of

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  8. #2598
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    Hump? what hump?
    Last edited by ssn679doc; 06-05-2013 at 04:50 AM.

  9. #2599
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    snide and snarky, my kinda guy
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  10. #2600
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    pinterest

    i go thru spells where i go to pinterest

    and then i PIN EVERYTHING!

    some people were on top of it this morning too, liking and repinning what i pinned as i was pinning the pins, and i was like 'oh, so coo' cause i like people who like what i like

    i found a daily workout thing that is easy. it is so easy. for a cripple i have decent strength and recovery time for a whole 5 minutes until my back dies, but until my back dies (and this is every time, mind you) i'm like 'i can do this, this is easy'

    because apparently i'm like memento dude. oh, this looks fun. WHY IS IT HURTING ME?!!!! oh, this looks fun. OH GOD WHY IS IT HURTING ME?!!! oh, this looks fun.

    dogs smell doggy, time for baths. fleas are creeping out so they itch. we can't have that, so they will also be pilled. cookie hung out with me in bed the other day and was laying with his feets in my face, and they smelled faintly of human feet, and i was like 'how is this even possible, you're a pup' but i found it strangely adorable

    cause he has little soft feets
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

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