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Thread: the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 228

  1. #2271
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    i know there are nice, normally flirtatious men out there

    i just don't attract them

    so a nice enough looking guy going out of his way to offer his assistance repeatedly makes me leery. other people around? yeah? just talks to me. every time. okay i can take a hint but life experience dictates that you will be crazy and stalk and follow and act like a rattle snake who doesn't know what NO means

    i need to be a mind reader. that would help.

    i texted bay to help me and he replied in so many words 'he wants to put his penis in your vagina'

    i knooooow, shut up and bring your muscles here for me to hang on to already

    and i am sick to fck of people saying walking dead is boring when it goes longer than 5 minutes without zombie brains spraying everywhere like a bukakke vid from hell. shut the fck up already and read a book, all the tv you've watched made your brain fuzt out into ADHD land

    dumbasses

    no one asked you all to whine about it every 5 minutes

    you know what i'm sick of? andrea hopping on the wrong dicks and being a general moron but you don't see me whining about it to anyone but bay. gah.

    i'm sleepy. and back on the wagon again after the chinese debacle. except for some more strawberry pie. if i wasn't meant to eat it it wouldn't have been invented.

    i had exactly 1 caffeine today. go me.
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Over the next 90 minutes, I want to show you that all of your problems can be solved with my penis.

  2. #2272
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    my stab is healed and only gets tender when i push on it. i guess that means i shouldn't push on it.

    hi. i'm sleepy. and decluttering is horrible. it doesn't make anything cleaner, it just pukes up junk you didn't know you had.

    but it's for a good cause, cause bay is coming to my haus to get kidnapped and kept forevers.

    you think i'm joking. i'm not.

    i'd hoped to look and be perfect for this moment, but i uh.. i'm just gonna look like a mere mortal. if i can't nab his attention with playboy tits, i'll nab it with food

    by golly!
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Over the next 90 minutes, I want to show you that all of your problems can be solved with my penis.

  3. #2273
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    ssn679doc is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    my stab is healed and only gets tender when i push on it. i guess that means i shouldn't push on it.

    i'd hoped to look and be perfect for this moment, but i uh.. i'm just gonna look like a mere mortal. if i can't nab his attention with playboy tits, i'll nab it with food
    I'm glad to see you have a firm grasp of the obvious with the cut.....

    If he is a "normal" guy, either attractants will work... both is better....

  4. #2274
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    i have plenty of socks to stuff my bra with
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Over the next 90 minutes, I want to show you that all of your problems can be solved with my penis.

  5. #2275
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i have plenty of socks to stuff my bra with
    lol.... false advertising.....

  6. #2276
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    yeah
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Over the next 90 minutes, I want to show you that all of your problems can be solved with my penis.

  7. #2277
    ssn679doc's Avatar
    ssn679doc is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    yeah
    I guess falsies aren't that bad if the food is good..... don't burn dinner.....

  8. #2278
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    Yay, Bay visiting! That is awesome and exciting and I am sure he will love you just as you are.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  9. #2279
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    he better, cause if he doesn't i know where he lives

    i'll fruit loop his lawn, or something equally heinous

    i'm gettin 'cited i was nervous. then excited. then nervous. then excited. now i'm excited again and tomorrow i'll be nervous

    woo.. *exhale*

    but okay, still on food track, still low on caffeine again. i haven't been able to get to sleep this past week. up until last night it was from back discomfort, and last night it was from hyper brain. it wanted to relay everything that could go wrong with the visit

    *scoff* like i hadn't already thought of that

    but spent time at the slightly less abandoned looking home. i give up on specifics and am right now just focusing on making it livable
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Over the next 90 minutes, I want to show you that all of your problems can be solved with my penis.

  10. #2280
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    i watched guys take out the old unit to put in a new one

    there's nothing quite like seeing the wood paneling under vinyl siding break off, no problemo, to make you feel safe and secure

    but discovering it used to be mint green was somewhat amusing 'daaaaamn house, you old!'

    ugh.. but learn from my mistake. don't run a floor cleaner all over the floor until AFTER any home improvement project that might pop up is completed. when i left there was a pile and scattering of at least 1 decade's worth of dirt and dust and dirty things on the (formerly) clean floor

    full of burger patties and salads, not what i wanted but it'll do
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Over the next 90 minutes, I want to show you that all of your problems can be solved with my penis.

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