the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 157

[bloodorchid]

i love my baby. we video chatted a few times and last night he would say 'baby you're so pretty' and i would say something dumb because the most anyone's ever said to me before is 'you're no supermodel but you're not ugly'. so i went full on awkward turtle

and it feeeeeeels good. and it makes meeeee feel good, and lighter inside and more motivated to stay 80/20, 90/10. instead of crawling in my ouch hole with a bowl of mac and cheese, huddled up and hunched over

so i'm eating fruit and meat..... ON THE SAME PLATE. ohhhh LAWS don't tell the 'eat sugars and proteins and fats separately' police

for real tho, i just didn't feel like spinach. i think i burnt myself out on it and broccoli a ways back. so maybe since most veggies look gross to me now i could go whole animal eating

or else just eat meat and cheese and fruit and cucumbers

also, stretching has become difficult in the hamstrings, upper/lower backals. so i've been amusing myself by randomly bending over and hanging like a dead doll

[bloodorchid]

i need to find an excuse to use this



and i actually sat through the whole entire presidential debate. and 'pfft pfffttt' dog tails off my nose, and talked face to face with bear. he gets excited, and pants, and looks at me. and i have no idea what's on his little doggy brain. so i just use an excited talk-to-baby voice and wind him up even more

the downside to this is, if he's standing on your sternum he will unexpectedly lunge forward and lick your mouth

he licks his balls sometimes, and the insides of his brothers' ears

and i bought some dog pee deterrent. i see how it deters them from peeing on things as the smell of it deters me from the room.

and supper was chicken legs and some baby potatoes and a can of tomatoes/okra/corn stuff. i was gonna drink frozen raspberry smoothie, but i had forgotten how much i don't like raspberries

[bloodorchid]

sweet baby jesus i love hydros

thank you god for hydros

i tried to teach my dogs some tricks last year/early this year. i figured i'd start simple, with Sit. i knew that if i sat on the floor all three would clamor to play king of the hill of my lap and i'd never get to focus on one so by process of elimination waka got first go

he freaked every time i touched his butt

they're smart boys, they picked up what i do and do not want them to do, but i'd like them to know sit and maybe stay and to roll over and die when i point and say bang

my sister's aggravatingly jumpy (on every body he sees) dog picked up down pretty quickly. that makes me want to try to teach my guys again. perhaps i am competitive.

thank god for hydros

time to dig out the body harnesses. prepare yourselves, fuzzbutts. we're gonna learn how to go walkies

[zoebird]

poor fuzzbutts. so much work ahead.

[bloodorchid]

yeah payback for all the times they licked my mouth and sat with their butt in my face

[JoanieL]

Nothing wrong with fruit and meat. Nice grass fed burger, smothered in guac, and topped with tomato paste. That's two fruits, and one of my favorite go-to easy meals.

Hope you'll post pics of harnessed woofers.

[bloodorchid]

there will be pictures, humiliation will be widespread!



the pups had vitamins and gizzards yesterday, last night i put the harnesses on them... they still hates it, preshis. they stayed close to me the whole time, bear panted the whole time. and i'm like IT'S JUST A HUG! WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE HUGS?!

but i didn't torture them for long, and they went back to normal after

today, in order to get chicken legs and gizzards, they ate their vitamins my boys are so smart and good and all that is right in the world

me, however, haven't done much other than walk around. the back of my knee exploded unexpectedly, and while walking was initially 'oh sweet jesus make it stop' it eventually loosened everything up enough that my knee just feels weak and soreish

and food today so far has been vitamins of my own, bites off a beef brisket i bought, and a plate full of chicken and green beans and DELICATA SQUASH

suck it haters, it's back in season

[bloodorchid]

my eyes are so sleepy and i don't know why, so i'll blame meds and rub my face like a little kid

and this is what we're watching right now



earlier i wanted a peach, but i thought to myself 'it'll just make me want more food if i eat it alone... scrambled eggs too? .....no, eff it' so maybe i'm starting to be like my guy and fast for 56 days at a time

stupid guy biology.. he fasts and his chest muscle fills out, i fast... and i get hungry

[bloodorchid]

oh my GOD



YOU ARE SO CUTE

only primally unapproved foods i ate at grammas today were one bun and 2, yes TWO, slices of pumpkin pie because hello? punkin pies time

i have little to no urge to spend money so far the last several weeks so it's either the routine zoloft or my brain issues are taking a nap. like gods, back at the start of time. they came, they destroyed, they slept

and this made me buy black cherry lipstick because if it looks good on someone who looks NOTHINNNNG like me, it will obviously look good on me too. /denial



and i was up late, so i'm tired. and i am full of food but i would gladly drink a bucket of chocolate milk.

just thought you'd like to know that.

because anyone who doesn't like chocolate milk is a liar and a commie.

[bloodorchid]

so i decided to watch deadwood. episode 1. never in all my tv viewing life have i heard the f word said so many damn times. it actually got on MY nerves and if i didn't have my baby i'd swear like a sailor daily.

i'm still zolofting, the gods of brain crazies still sleep, my bank account is still living.



and cookie now jump/clambers on bed to cuddle when i lay down at night. therrrre i am, miiiiiiinding my own business, when he makes me do this



so indignifying.

food is still on track, yay me. PT while watching a sort of indie serial killer movie, yay me. i just scratched my hand and yawned, yay me.

i downloaded an app, it has different sound tones to stimulate different parts of your brain to dull pain etc. one of them says it's for an LSD experience..... i'm kinda scared about trying that one.....