the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 141

[bloodorchid]

bay and i were teasing earlier when i said 'i'm the best girlfriend ever'

he said 'pretty much'

i shall lord it over him always, he will never forget

20 DIY Home Remedies You Had No Idea Existed

Zombie Head Gumball
(yes, we can has, he said) (yay)

[bloodorchid]

i could probly use a mani/pedi

or a spa day

[bloodorchid]

and if yesterday wasn't bad enough

i got a free massive helping of post traumatic stress

[bloodorchid]

sorry baby i couldn't fall asleep

played a game on the phone and i kept thinking of what i could have or should have done to help her

my eyes burned and i thought 'okay, sleep'. i buried my face in the pillow, closed my eyes, and the coulda woulda shoulda what ifs turned i nto movies projected loudly inside my eyelids. and i raged. and my emotions wound back up. when i kept talking while you were trying to sleep it was because i was half afraid i'd dream of voldemorte

and i could have eaten a handful of pills but that would have guaranteed bad dreams

so i got up,, i watched the rest of that terrible movie, my eyes are on fire and i'm so damn tired but i'm still kinda scared to sleep.

i hate them both. there is no redemption from that. they could find god, they could become zen buddhists, they would still be nothing but shit

and i kind of hate myself for being a coward

maybe i will call you just to listen to you go back to sleep

[bloodorchid]

but stupid games always help

[Gay Panda]

Okay, I laughed until I was crying at Get Down, Mr. President.

[bloodorchid]

best game ever as long as you aren't mr. president

[bloodorchid]

and i shall lord this over kenn always

you should navigate ships through minefields, nary a one would hit anything

[bloodorchid]

what's black and white and red all over

i was up all night and all morning. i did a test run to the store but it didn't turn me into a ball of hyperventilation. i stayed up more. i had long conversations of nonsensical babytalk with the dogs. i read some, i talked to love, i slept some, i ate food.

maybe it's my hormones. maybe i'm still fcked up over the other day. but i want to get back in bed and sob like a baby

i fussed with my elder sibling this morning too, that was an annoyance i didn't want or need. but i'm tired of immature drama, so i opened my mouth

'i didn't ask you to give a damn'
sure you did, when you decided to be a baby

'and you're perfect too, go away'
yes i am. no.

'go look in the mirror, you're not perfect'
i know i'm ugly. and yes i am.

i don't know wtf elder sibling thinks is lucky about my life. perhaps i should make a great big facebook post to tell the world and god and everybody every little thing. perhaps i should be the great drama llama that i so detest.

or perhaps i could create a powerpoint presentation, complete with a dark room and pointy laser stick

you know, be just as obnoxious as elder sibling

when i get in these sobby feeling moods i DO want to tell everyone everything

but not tonight

[Knifegill]

Never underestimate the genuine peace brought about simply by hugging one's knees and rocking back and forth.