the purple prose of petunia pettigrew page 139

[bloodorchid]

cameras help me discover untapped depths of bodily discomfort

i feel so very uncomfortable and discouraged right now. i am not honey boo boo, i do not gleefully jiggle what i have.

[namelesswonder]

That thinspo photo made me think "Why would you want cake between your thighs?"

[justyouraveragecavemen]

nice. i'm going to australia tomorrow.

A guy that used to work for me had a girlfriend in Australia. When he would visit her he would always promise to bring back a kangaroo scrotum change purse for me but he never did. It's always made me wonder, if I had given him better ratings on his evaluation, would my change be jingling in a kangaroo's ballsack? If someone gave me a Sacagawea dollar, I could have said, "I'm gonna put this in my ballsack!" Or if someone gave me that elusive state quarter I've been searching for I could have exclaimed "Straight to the scrotum with this one!" I'll never know; I'm saddened because I really did want one.

[cori93437]

That thinspo photo made me think "Why would you want cake between your thighs?"

Ever hear of Sploshing...

[bloodorchid]

yeast infection inducing sexytimes, straight to the scrotum *brow wagglewagglewaggle*

i made a passable looking liver mousse. key word is 'looking'. my run downedness made me miss cooking them by the expiration date so it tasted weird, hence i dumped it out for whatever wildlife wanted a shot of vitamin A & Bs

i still have calf liver in the freezer. and the canned oysters i cooked the other night had the consistency of liver. so, close enough. and watching diners drive ins and dives. won't someone think of the children and cook me all this food?

[bloodorchid]

i am not ashamed to say that i'm watching here comes honey boo boo and i like the show so far

but i'm fairly sure my baby is judging me heavily, what with the 'smh' and 'no' don't watch and :| faces

i wanted to spend some time with him earlier but.. my body. so sore and tired and runned over feeling. 'i wanna talk to youuuuu but i feel bad. i wanna talk to youuuuu, but i can't take it anymore i'm gonna lay down. i wanna talkto youuuuuuu, but i'm gonna nap'

he called to make sure i didn't sleep past the alarm too much, i have alarm sleep turning off down to a science. this time i didn't even change positions and my arm turned it off like it was possessed

i think it may be a whole other month before i can squat again

[bloodorchid]

A guy that used to work for me had a girlfriend in Australia. When he would visit her he would always promise to bring back a kangaroo scrotum change purse for me but he never did. It's always made me wonder, if I had given him better ratings on his evaluation, would my change be jingling in a kangaroo's ballsack? If someone gave me a Sacagawea dollar, I could have said, "I'm gonna put this in my ballsack!" Or if someone gave me that elusive state quarter I've been searching for I could have exclaimed "Straight to the scrotum with this one!" I'll never know; I'm saddened because I really did want one.

kangaroo scrotum purses and pouches

youuuuuu're welcome

[bloodorchid]

we're listening to this tonight



and i just went to first base with myself, it seems that the iodine in my multis and pink salt and seaweed wraps made at least one of my larger breast tissue lumps shrink. and i haven't grown and lost a new cherry angioma in a while. i haven't eaten lugols in a while so i guess the vituhmins were enough for that

i was about to get teary while on the phone with bay again. explained it out that he lets me relax when i go around every day all tough cookie, so he's my glass of milk. that i soak in. and turn mushy and crumbly.

AND THEN HE MADE FUN OF ME! d:<

if i didn't like him so much.. POW

i vacuumed some just to loosen up, and it worked kinda, but i got overly hot for some weird reason. and still sore. so i said eff it and laid down as i said. the dogs looked pitifully at me so i let them up on the bed and them rolling and wallowing around on me would have been fine if not for the fact that they kept coming back to lick my nose and mouth

i'm trying to play sudoku, not make out

even if i am in bed with 3 hairy men

but i like the hippie toothpastes, my teeth feel cleaner. like there isn't a buffered layer of slick the regular toothpaste left. but that lack of buffered slick also makes my gums feel a bit abused, even with a soft bristle brush. so i guess i'll use a baby toothbrush or sumn

i did buy strawberry flavored kid toothpaste once. the rationale went something like this;

I'M 30 YEARS OLD AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT

it was a taste disappointment, which is what i get for buying 'healthy' toothpaste. the happy dancing strawberries were a lie

[bloodorchid]

before you came into my life i missed you so bad i missed you so bad i guess you know that *hip thrust thathathrust*

[cori93437]

Heh!
I saw that video and posted it before I saw that you had posted it.
It gave me much needed smiles today.