sporadic bouts of unspecified anxiety and a disinclination to sleep. well this sucks. is it a result of too much chinese or am i losing my mind again already?
here is a not-so-secret secret about my family. we all have a crutch. the older set uses smoking, the younger set uses alcohol, recreational drugs and pills. my crutch used to be smoking til my grandfather died of lung cancer that spread through his body then i did a fast force quit, caving in to 5 or fewer puffs over the next several months
see how i was all grammatically correct with the 'or fewer'? you can thank weird al for that
if i had less of a tight rein on myself i'd be on the alcohol and pill crutch. i'd like to huddle up and take a muscle relaxer with a bottle of alcohol so i can go into oblivion for a while, then carry on nightly until the prescrip ran out and i'd wobble belligerently to the doc where she would realize i've developed a problem and refuse to renew it wherein i would be forced to injure myself at retail chains, exacerbating my drug saturated and numb back injury for out of court settlements so i could buy more off the street. eventually i would be arrested for buying from an undercover cop, forced into rehab and come out an artsy fartsy hippie who would write several best selling self help books
it's a vicious cycle best left undone
i raked today, fitocracy has no tracker listing for that but i fear i care very little for level grinding this week
and despite the pain pill that was working beautifully, when i was finished the area immediately around my rod was tingling
i really really really don't want more surgery. i don't want more scars and staples and stitches, and yes i'm being a baby stfu