Oh, he was the instructor. Totally legit for me to spend two hours looking at him I tried to keep the *tilts head and eyes up and down* to a minimum, though. Actually, when I send him the link for the class review (since I'll be linking to his company) I am going to ask if I can take him to lunch at some point to pick his brain about vegetable gardens. Not now- it's busy season- but at some point. One of the things his company does is help to install vegetable gardens, and he mentioned that he thought there would be a market for helping people learn about gardening. Well, gee whiz It will be to legitimately pick his brain. Seeing him again will just be a perk
When I started PB, it was Bacon! Cream! Steaaaaak! and lots of veggies. Thing is, I'm not really coming from wheat this time, so it's not quite as exciting. I was also coming out of busy season and wasn't nearly as frustrated with work as I am right now, so I was in a better mental place. I need to push the veggies, and I need to just have lots of easy food on hand at all times. Saturday was fine- I actually fasted (ok, except for the mocha, but it was whole milk!) until about 5 when I had a steak and sweet potatoes. The chips, etc on Sunday were strictly a "fuck you, world" emotional choice.
I need to make a concerted effort to look for a new job. That will help me at least feel like I am trying to fix this. I also need to make sure that I get in lots of garden time. It should help that I have lots of garden space
I am just making things worse for myself. I'm just . . . having a hard time gathering the spine I need to bull through the misery until I can start seeing results that will then encourage me. The fatter and weaker I get, the less motivated I am to do things like MOVE. I know that the slimmer and stronger I get, the MORE motivated I am to move, but I'm having a hard time switching over.