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  1. #401
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    Don't forget that those 7 lbs are probably water weight. I don't think it's possible to gain 7 lbs of fat overnight O.O You will recover, just gotta make an obnoxious mantra like "I love myself. I nourish myself. I will be happy" until you want to puke, and then you'll be so focused on hating the mantra that everything else will seem hunky dory
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    But today's ray of sunshine is playing a violent video game when I get home! :-P
    Good a way as any to blow off stress I suppose, but I would add that too much time spent in front of the 'puter, video games, TV, etc., winds up being an energy drain, rather than something that refreshes and resets your day.

    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic
    Given my pathetic performance on my lunch walk today, I clearly need to start doing SOMETHING. A mile is NOT that far.
    Walking is a great idea, especially in nice weather. A mile at lunch, and a mile when you get home. How was your "performance" pathetic? Just not feeling it? Walking is about more than distance traveled and just moving, per se. It's about breathing real air, feeling sunlight, blowing out cobwebs, thinking fresh thoughts.

    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic
    A big part of my problem is that there's a difference between deliberately doing nothing to recharge and being useless yet stressing about it. The time I spent basking in the sun this weekend really wasn't productive, per se, as I wasn't doing anything physical and I was reading a novel, not a gardening book. But it was on purpose. The movies I watched when I really should have at the very least been starting food for this week were not on purpose but I did it anyway. So I got little accomplished and also didn't relax. Gah. I need a vacation.
    Nothing wrong with a weekend spent reading or watching movies; you are definitely stressing over something that doesn't need stressing. I've been meaning to make some beef bone broth for over a month now, haven't gotten to it. Oh well. Other stuff happens. If I wake up feeling rested and energized, my day is half won. Really try to make an effort to get rest and to de-stress. Got drawers and something to wear tomorrow? Good, now what do you really need to stress about? Turn in early with that book, get some solid z's, pack some healthy food in the morning, bam!, one day at a time.

  3. #403
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    Lol- Wonder. I see that we have the same view of mantras Hmm, maybe though if I make myself say something like that when I start talking down to myself I'll irritate myself into stopping. There's a healthy mindset- annoying myself into being nice . . . And, yeah, it's gotta be water weight- but that means that the water weight that I lost last week is back and has to be lost again before I can make progress.

    Finnegan- About half-way through the mile (granted, on the up-slope, but it's not that steep) I started to feel it in my calves. I shouldn't. I did get some sun and worked a little on my foot-callouses, but a mile should be a warmup not almost a challenge. I hate being weak. I might not be happy about my current strength level, but I'm usually stronger than most girls my size and shape. If I can't walk a mile, then I can't fall back on that fact any more. It means that I'm fat and weak, which is not ok.

    There's one flaw with your "everything's ok, one day at a time" mantra. Because I did nothing this weekend, I don't have any healthy food to pack, aside from one leftover slice of quiche, and I'm not sure that I do have any clean drawers to wear tomorrow. If I have a books and movie weekend on purpose- or I can pretend it happened on purpose- then it can be very nice. However, when it's a books and movies weekend because I'm too weak and pathetic to do anything else, it doesn't work for me. All it does is stress me out. More. I'm fully aware that this is all in my head. It is, unfortunately, what shapes my reality.
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic View Post
    Finnegan- About half-way through the mile (granted, on the up-slope, but it's not that steep) I started to feel it in my calves. I shouldn't.
    Feel it how? Calf pain? Could be a potassium issue. Instead of eating bananas, go buy some Epsom salts, a good way to relax and to absorb more potassium.

    Or just overall lacking strength? Even what seems like a gentle grade can take a lot of work. I noticed this when I started running -- man, what looks like a tiny ole hill is a big ole mountain when you're running. If that's the case, just keep at it, walk that hill every day and you'll regain your strength.

    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic
    I hate being weak. I might not be happy about my current strength level, but I'm usually stronger than most girls my size and shape. If I can't walk a mile, then I can't fall back on that fact any more. It means that I'm fat and weak, which is not ok.
    If I could make one overall suggestion, humbly, it would be to chuck all this self-negativity.

    Seriously. It's just one more thing you have to work against. When I started my journey, I had a nasty old man gut (the gut was nasty, not me) and I couldn't run a quarter of a mile without coughing up chunks o' lung. I've only dropped 25# so far, but feel tons better, people comment on how good I'm looking, I ran a 5K a couple of weeks ago and 9 miles about a month ago. Not to brag: just saying, you get the ball rolling in a good direction, and you keep feeding off it it. But the negative shit will never allow you to get the ball rolling.

    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic
    There's one flaw with your "everything's ok, one day at a time" mantra.
    Yes, whittle down your obstacles to one thing at a time. I'm not saying "everything's OK," necessarily. Could be swimming in shit. But you're not going to get out of the shit by saying Damn, my swimming sucks, or Wow, this pool of shit is deep and wide. You'll get out of the shit by just working at it a little bit each day, and by stopping this business of beating yourself up. Stop it. Stop it right now. There's some unwritten bylaw about respecting your elders, so listen to what I say.

    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic
    Because I did nothing this weekend, I don't have any healthy food to pack, aside from one leftover slice of quiche, and I'm not sure that I do have any clean drawers to wear tomorrow.
    OK, moving from the starting point of not beating yourself up over shit that's done and over with (not to mention small potatoes... seriously, you're giving yourself the business over vegging out and watching movies?), you've done an important first step: you've identified the things you need to do, and now you can put the things on your "should-do" list on hold until tomorrow. When you leave work, feel the power, sister. Say to yourself, Damn, that fiery old curmudgeon Finnegans Wake is RIGHT! I'ma go home and wash out my drawers and feel empowered! And I'm going to stop on the way home and get some healthy foods and go through this week feeling GOOD about myself! This is your pep talk! Stop rolling your eyes right now, I know you're doing it. You have clean unmentionables, you have good eats, you are woman, hear you roar, this is going to be a good week even if you're ankle-deep in shit right now. Got it?

    Don't make me go from cheerleader to drill sergeant on your ass. It won't be pretty.

    Seriously, just don't beat yourself up. Everyone gets a pass for a wasted day or weekend. Just move on. Spring is the time for renewal, for fresh starts, out with the old, in with the new. As soon as my damned foot heals (!), I'm going to get out and start sprinting and getting ready for another 5K. I'm going to work on all the stuff I've been lax on and get the rest of the weight off. Am I going to do that by fretting over the piece of coconut cake I had this weekend that was roughly the size of Montana? Hells no. Time spent beating oneself up could be better invested in other stuff.

    I'll expect a full report in the morning.

  5. #405
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    Yes, boss *stops eyeroll half-way through*

    Actually, I was already planning on stopping at the grocery store on the way home. I'm going to make my squash soup at the very least. Not quite sure whether I'm going to get the chuck roast in the crock pot or not, but I'm going to pick up some parsnips to chuck in with the carrots in any case. I know I feel better when I eat well, so I'm going to try and make it easy for myself. Other than that, I will ignore the state of my fridge (frightening) and I will do my best to get to bed early.

    I don't know if you're familiar with depression at all, but a big part of it is that all you see is the negative. If "just stop it" worked, I'd've been over it a long time ago. Not only is the shit-pool all I can see- I'm also just waiting for the whirlpool I know is in here to appear and suck me back in. That's just the way it goes. The time of year (seasonal affective disorder) plus busy season at work, plus just being tired means that showing up at work is, in fact, about all I can realistically expect. However, given my usual level of ability, being knocked that low- even though I know why and I know it's temporary- is hard to deal with.

    I do appreciate the pep-talk though And I'll let you know what time I got to bed tomorrow.
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

  6. #406
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    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic View Post
    I'm feeling rather lonely and unloved (which is stupid and a symptem of depression and I know it, but there it is) so I appreciate that you're checking in
    I don't post here very much, but 'm checking in too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
    Feel it how? Calf pain? Could be a potassium issue. Instead of eating bananas, go buy some Epsom salts, a good way to relax and to absorb more potassium.
    Calf pain?
    FW - do you have a journal?
    I don't want to "invade" drssgchic's journal, but I'm "running" again (run a minute, walk a minute) and calf pain is what makes me switch from running to walking.
    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
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  7. #407
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    Sorry to hear about your depression attack (atleast that's how they seem to me - I like the cloud analogy someone used earlier too). I seem to be caught in the muck myself also (why I've been MIA). Different causes but the same effect - feeling lost and like crap and then the bad choices come. Getting moving outside definitely helps - even just soaking up the sun. Things are getting better, I just have to keep making good choices instead of the "I can have a little some times" ideas. Lesson learned (again) and now digging myself out. I think a lot of this is caused by brain chemistry and bad food and missing supps messes us up! I like FW's approach of "today" as that is all we can work with, really. Here's planning for a better tomorrow!

  8. #408
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    You guys are awesome. Thank you for checking in! I appreciate it!

    I am feeling better today. I stopped at the grocery store on the way home, called home (which I do every Monday), heard from a guy (shallow, yes, and I'm not about to link my happiness to a man, but it's still nice ), made food, and got up a blog post. Which means that I got stuff accomplished. That always helps. Mud Flinger- it is all about making consistant good choices instead of easy ones. Fortunately, the better we feel (food, supps, wins) the easier it is. Welcome back!

    D- cottage cheese (left over from the weekend), red wine. I'd intended to eat the soup, but it took too long and I was hungry.

    FW- I was in bed by 8:30 with lights out just after 9. I woke up at 11. Yes, I know this is because of the wine, but it helps me to relax and sleep initially. At the moment I'm accepting any sleep. I will work on quality sleep at a later date.

    B- tea/cream/CO/D, last slice of quiche
    Unofficial weigh-in 221#. Part of the issue was chips- but they were the good kind! Just potatos and sunflower or safflower oil with parmisan flavoring. Apparently the oil makes me swell up?

    Winencandy- Invade away! I can always use more information And epsome salts make for an excellent bath. I love them.
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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    Just wanted to congratulate you on a productive evening, and to say I'm glad you're feeling better today. Wasn't trying to downplay the depression with yesterday's pep talk, and hope you realized that some of it was in humor too...

    I hear ya on the wine. It's my weakness too (one of them), and when I have too much I get the flips. Quality sleep is a good thing, but so is wine... the eternal war!

    Yes, sunflower/safflower oil is inflammatory, full of nasty O-6s, avoid if you can.

  10. #410
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    I keep thinking that if I get a new job, I may not be making as much as I am now (not that I'm making that much). On the other hand, I will also drink less wine. This could work

    I know it was meant in good humor, and sometimes I do need a swift kick.

    BTW, what did you do to your foot? Isn't the PB supposed to make us bullet-proof?
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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