I guess I'll begin my journal with an intro. This is my first public primal challenge and I hope it will be my most successful to date. I'm 23 and have been fighting with my inner lazy and self-indulgent bastard since I was nine or ten. In high school I got really heavy, the highest number I recorded was just shy of 250, but I know I had been heavier than that before.

So I got tired of being a slave to the chub club and learned a bit and successfully made the voyage to aroundabout 200 lbs. I'm a ton happier and healthier and have a metric shit ton of energy, but I still have this flubber gut that I don't like too much. So that leads me to my first goal: My body fat needs to be obliterated. I've got probably 20-30lbs that I will be looking to get rid of through the various means of exercise, diet, and lifestyle, but I've got to get past myself in order to do this.

I feel almost bi-polar at times (though I'm really not, just human) because I will have massive stints of zeal and motivation where I get amazingly healthy. I made it to 190 in february and life was killer. But then it went away and I gave into excuses and gained all the weight back. So I frustrate the hell out of myself quite often.

I try not to motivate myself through aesthetic means. I do enjoy looking better, but that's flimsy to me. I've already got the most wonderful devoted beautiful wife I could imagine who has never pressured me to lose the weight, so I don't really need to attract anyone. I just would like the freedom that comes with being healthy. I've tasted it before, but I don't think I ever really took hold of it. My weight keeps me limited in my capabilities. I don't feel comfortable taking my shirt off in public, I can't run as far, or climb as high, or inspire people as well... So I'm re structuring my reward system. Instead of saying to myself that I get a cheat meal for doing good, I'm going to reward myself with things that reflect my accomplishments. If I ditch the gut, I'll go trail running with my shirt off (freedom!) If I increase my upper body strength I'll go rock climbing or take up break dancing. Stuff that's more substantial than downing a plate of chocolate cake.

I don't want to ramble on anymore, but I'll be back to post some meals and workouts. Good luck to everyone else out there working to free themselves from the shackles of poor health. Keep it up!