One week down, a lifetime to go! Saturday was a blip for me but I spent time with my kids so eating right wasn't my only goal. I make any and all efforts to hang with my kids when they want to, because someday they will move out, woohoo! Really, some days I am counting down the days until I am alone in my house. The dogs don't count.
I had steak, green peppers, potatoes and eggs all cooked together this morning. Lunch will be the exciting sausage, peas, squash meal from above and dinner will be chicken with sauce, over rice. I have a fridge full of leftovers and we're eating them until they're gone. I tend to cook lots over the weekend so the kids can pack a healthy lunch for school. Otherwise, they're eating overpriced crap and since I put the money in their lunch accounts, I'd like to avoid that!
I am fighting a latte craving something fierce. It shouldn't be a big deal since I allow myself one a week but, heck, it is only Tuesday. What if I need one worse on Thursday?? Yep, that's how my little, bitty brain works.
Tonight is WATCHING part of a soccer match and two volleyball matches. It would be better if I was participating but I think someone would notice 1. that I am a tad bit older than a high schooler, 2. the soccer folks might notice that I'm not a guy, and 3. I am not good enough to make the team. Those glory days are long behind me!
My boss is leaving today and my new boss told me I should work from home as often as possible, move into her office and let her know if I need anything. Whoa. Treated like an adult. What's the likelihood I'd have two great bosses in a row?? 100%.
I am hanging in here, although not as well as I'd hoped. You are your problem. You are also your solution!
My scale says I am down almost six pounds in two weeks. Not as good as it could be, not as bad as it has been in the past. I am trying to live a normal life here and with three teenagers, the carbs are here to stay. When I cook, they get rice and potatoes as their carbs but they still take sandwiches for lunch or have toast or cereal as part of their breakfast. They also have eggs and bacon so it isn't a total loss.
We're all living with colds right now, but whooping cough is running rampant through the school, so it's all good. I usually only get one or two colds a year so let's keep our fingers crossed that this is the big one. I had a sore throat for three days and then the sinus crud hit. I'm feeling a bit better today.
Tonight I'm hosting a volleyball team dinner for 16 girls, about 15 too many! I am putting together a taco bar with lots of meat and veggies. I did make rice and beans, for the authentic feel, and I'm sure someone will bring chips as an appetizer. Win some, lose some, I can eat only what is primal and feel good about it!
Well, I have taken a new approach to this whole thing. I was struggling to stay primal, eating like food would be disappearing forever, working out sporadically, basically living with no focus. So, to keep me on track, I joined Weight Watchers. Before anyone freaks out too much, I am eating Primal but tracking so I can get an idea just how much I am eating. And there is a reason I wasn't losing weight - I was eating too darn much! No measuring of oil or butter, no reining in the meat volume and veggies were an afterthought. I was smart enough to join online so I could avoid the meeting propaganda.
I am feeling mostly full, am enjoying clicking the little boxes to say I've had my veggies and liquids for the day, and figure I will continue this for three months as by then I will be able to better gauge just how much I need to eat. I do like that most of the veggies are zero points so I really am only counting proteins, oils and some carbs.
Let's be real, it can't hurt me to become a more mindful eater.
Still working my way down the path. Keeping track has helped considerably! I am shaking my head at having to admit that paying money to track is what it takes to keep me on track. Dailyplate and all those other tracking websites haven't worked because they are free. Why stick with something if you haven't had to pay for it? Oh, what that tells you about me. Anyway, it's working.
I'm eating better and more reasonably, I'm working out, I'm seeing the scale drop. Problem, meet Solution.
I've had what I think are two gall bladder attacks. Holy crap! I see my internist tomorrow and I hope she provides some guidance. I do NOT want to go through that again. All I could think of was death or heavy drugs.
I am down 5.2 pounds in 10 days. Yep, tracking is my friend. I can see where it will become a grind but I think three months of tracking will give me a great feel for portions. If it doesn't, then I'll spend $20/month for however long it takes. Because this weight needs to disappear.
I am going in for an abdominal ultrasound next week, to see if my gall bladder, or something else, is causing me grief. I'm feeling good otherwise so I hope it turns out to be nothing...or something minor. I guess I want it to be something so I know what to do to avoid another one of those attacks. Holy crap, I might not want to live through another.
Well, my gallbladder is full of "pond scum" and one gallstone larger than 1"! My surgery is scheduled for November 26th, the earliest I could fit it in. Good news is the gallstone is too large to hit the bile duct so I won't need emergency surgery between now and then. It does help to know why I've been having "stomach" problems since last February.
Bad news is that my kidney function is really low and we're not sure why. I don't have high blood pressure or diabetes, the two things mostly likely to bring on kidney disease. The kidney clinic told me my records were reviewed and I was assigned "first available" to see the doctor, which was February 13, 2013! Umm, anything I should do between now and then? My primary intervened and I head to kidney clinic on November 7th, to meet with the nurse practioner.
My numbers put me in stage 3 and if they stick, I will really have to change my diet to prevent further damage - limited protein, limited potassium and phosphorus, limited dairy and even limited liquids. Keeping my fingers crossed...
I put myself on Gay Panda's "Just say NO(vember)" list as I have struggled on and off again. I have upped the workouts, which has been nice, but the eating is what is killing me. I have no ability to exercise portion control or to tell myself I can have something tomorrow, even if it sounds good today.
I suck at this. I really, really do.
Stick a fork in me, I am done. Or starting again. It's all in how you phrase it. I turned 50 yesterday and pretty much weigh the same thing I did last year. I am obsessed with food, dealing with a bad knee that limits exercise and basically feeling sorry for myself. Lots of that is due to the winter blahs but enough is enough. I am not that interesting that I have to focus on my sorry self for months on end.
So, instead of wishing things were different, I'm going to make sure things are different. I am tracking my food intake and exercise because I need to be accountable. I am learning to say no to all the things I don't want to do (good-bye stressful board positions) and saying yes to the things I want (hobbies, finally making time for hobbies).
Happy me means happy eater. When things are going well mentally I don't feel the need to stuff myself until I, well, stuffed. I don't need to obsess about food when I am focused on wine bottle torches and sewing. And my hands are too busy to eat, which can only help. Maybe I should take up knitting...
Day two in la-la land - that happy place where I'm stickng with the changes I need to make. I walked the track last night while my youngest had VB practice. Not wise as walking makes my knee hurt like a sonofabitch the next day but I needed to move to feel good about myself, so I'll pay today. As will the folks around me that have to hear me whining. It would have been a good day to work from home...