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Thread: Being healthy is physically unattractive? page

  1. #1
    quidam's Avatar
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    Being healthy is physically unattractive?

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    I saw the thread about social aspects of healthiness, and was wondering if anyone else has ever heard negative comments about the physical side of things?

    Not too long ago a couple of my co-workers, both guys, were talking about how gross it was that they used to work with someone who had visible abs. That really surprised me as both like to lift, (though neither are trim). They spoke of this guy as if he is a freak because he has muscle definition.

    I also know a man who speaks regularly of women who are "underweight" in his opinion. Most of the women he points out as such I would consider being either trim or even slightly overweight. He even expressed concern over how thin his own father had become, while in reality his father still needed to lose a bit.

    Has anyone else ever run across negativity toward a physically fit body? It just seems a bit odd to me that the norm might have become so skewed that unfit is now seen as fit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by quidam View Post
    I saw the thread about social aspects of healthiness, and was wondering if anyone else has ever heard negative comments about the physical side of things?

    Not too long ago a couple of my co-workers, both guys, were talking about how gross it was that they used to work with someone who had visible abs. That really surprised me as both like to lift, (though neither are trim). They spoke of this guy as if he is a freak because he has muscle definition.

    I also know a man who speaks regularly of women who are "underweight" in his opinion. Most of the women he points out as such I would consider being either trim or even slightly overweight. He even expressed concern over how thin his own father had become, while in reality his father still needed to lose a bit.

    Has anyone else ever run across negativity toward a physically fit body? It just seems a bit odd to me that the norm might have become so skewed that unfit is now seen as fit.
    It sounds like the second guy has a skewed perspective of fat/thin, but the first two are possibly envious.

    The times I've 'nitpicked' other people's bodies it's always been other women, and always because I wanted to figure out what their flaws were so that I could rest assured that they were not, in fact, perfect. Since going primal I don't care as much, and have come to terms with the fact that I can only do the best with what I have. I'm still puzzled when people find certain body types attractive (namely the girls who look like they've barely gone through puberty), but it's not something I would talk about with people, because it sounds so bitter.

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    Like I mentioned in the other thread, jealousy does have a bit to do with it, but it is also a defense mechanism. Overweight people are constantly reproached for the shape of their body and lashing out at the ideal body is a way to defend oneself, albeit a bit of a delusional one.

    Judgemental douchebagery begets judgemental douchebagery. Let's try to be a non-judgemental community. I think we are doing a decent job of it already, but there is always room for improvement.




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  4. #4
    Paleobird's Avatar
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    I have not gotten anything but approval for the weight I've lost and how I look now but I have heard some concerns about the way I lost it. I get this from two angles. For one, I have a personal history of cancer. A couple of people have worked up the nerve to ask, "You're not sick again, are you?"
    The other angle is that there is a family history of anorexia/bulimia (my sister). A couple of people have asked, "You're not losing the weight the way your sister did, are you?"

    This is all well meaning concern for my health, or at least that's the way I choose to take it. I just smile and tell them how great I am feeling and their objections evaporate.

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    Wow. I'm exactly the opposite! My entire family is slim because our lovely cook(coughsorrymothercough) never believed in all this low fat crap, so we've always been fed semi properly(there have been a lot of grains). So whenever I leave the house now I'm surrounded by bigger people than me standing in huge queues in front of Greggs or in supermarkets with tons of crap in their baskets and all I can think is FAT!! FAT FAT FAT!! WHY IS EVERYONE SO FAAAAT???!
    Which is a horrible and rude thing to think... But it's true. =/
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    Quote Originally Posted by stabby View Post
    like i mentioned in the other thread, jealousy does have a bit to do with it, but it is also a defense mechanism. Overweight people are constantly reproached for the shape of their body and lashing out at the ideal body is a way to defend oneself, albeit a bit of a delusional one.[/size][/color]
    qft! a lot of the times i've 'nitpicked' a specific person was when I was at my heaviest, and it was because other people told me (as not-so-subtle hints to lose weight) about how she 'only eats salads' and 'runs five miles a day,' blah blah freakin blah.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Paleobird View Post
    I have not gotten anything but approval for the weight I've lost and how I look now but I have heard some concerns about the way I lost it.
    I hadn't thought about reactions to my own weight loss! Everyone's been happy and complimentary (sometimes to a point of discomfort), and the only ones who have expressed concern with how I lost weight have been my parents, but that's because they're the only ones who know that it's paleo/primal. I don't want to think about people saying or thinking nasty things behind my back; I don't think they are, though.

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    I've always been seen as the "skinny" one in the family, because everyone (with the exception of my dad) put on a bunch of fat after high school/college/childbirth. This is sometimes said as if there is something wrong with me, lol!

    I am normal weight & very fit for a 5'6" 48 year old woman.

    I think one's perception can get skewed when all you see around you are people who are as fat as you are. (My family lives in Iowa.)

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    These reactions are a) the extreme minority, and b) grounded in peoples' own insecurities.

    There will always be people who mock others for working to achieve something they can't or won't. Like Stabby said, it's a typical human defense mechanism to avoid having to address their own problems.

    If you're actually wondering if a lot of people find physical fitness unattractive, spend a few hours at a nice bar/lounge. See who gets attention from the opposite sex =)
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  10. #10
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    I'm quite slim, and have heard every variation of "real men prefer curves" or "I'd rather be a real woman than a thin one" (all from other women, mind you.) I was 34-23-34 and a C-cup pre-pregnancy, so yeah, that's curvy enough for me!

    However, I don't find "ripped" guys attractive at all. I like lean, athletic-looking guys a whole lot, but guys with crazy muscle definition, that gym-sculpted body? Total turn-off. It makes me think he has way too much time on his hands. If a guy has the kind of toned body that's clearly the byproduct of something "real" or a skill (like a surfer, runner, dancer... oh, male dancers! Or a man who does physical work for a living) it's hot, but if he has that artificial bodybuilding/gym body that's just too perfect, I assume he's probably vain and self-obsessed. It's not physically attractive to me at all when it looks "deliberate." Just me!
    Last edited by paleo_hailey; 09-07-2011 at 12:51 PM.

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