Jots and Tittles :p
Well, I'm not getting any younger here. But I am lighter by 30 pounds. So why won't those last 10 pounds budge?
B - 3 eggs fried in coconut oil, threw away the whites. (why bother?)
1 dried apricot
Lupper - 2 chicken/sun-dried tomato sausages + grass fed cheddar (could this be the reason for the non-budgage?)
2 fresh, organic figs (which cost an arm and a leg at Whole Paycheck)
Coffee (organic half and half, plus Stevia) + iced tea (required because of my locale and heritage)
Hey, there's no veggies in there!!
Exercise: 1 hour yoga class. (I know it's not Primal, but I just adore it. I love being stretchy, it helps my mood so much, and today's class was really good. I could feel myself comfortably twisting and stretching farther than previous, and I love that hippy-trippy happy feeling I get from it.)
Goals for tomorrow:
1. Walk for an hour (cumulative)
2. Eat 2 veggies.
3. Limit coffee to 3 cups (I know it's still a lot, but my most boring class is tomorrow night--Moot Court. zzzzzz....)
Looking forward to the 30 day challenge, hoping for some motivation and tweaking! All of those 10 pounds I'm hoping to get rid of are on my back!! Yuck. Plus, my arms are thin now, but shapeless. Maybe I should add:
10:56 p.m. - off to bed.
Update: puttered around instead of going to bed, and made myself a smoothie (coconut milk, almond butter, a tad of cocoa, fresh and frozen berries - not many). It was delicious, and not too big, but somewhat frustrating. I don't like the way I eat at night, sometimes compulsively, sometimes not. I know it's not supposed to have any greater effect on our weight than eating at any other time, but it's such an emotional remnant of my many many years of dieting that I hate it. And feel embarrassed about it.
The thing is, I love Primal and look so much better, but apparently some of my old emotional responses to food linger on, even though there's no reason. It's like, yeah, I'm divorced (thin, no longer craving carbs), but still carry a lot of baggage from that rotten marriage (fatness, compulsive eating, etc.).
Also, I'm still reacting to those negative emotions. If I stumble with Primal and wind up eating something crappy, or a lot of crappy things, it's at night.
Last edited by Grokianna; 09-07-2011 at 08:34 AM.
Reason: Typo!! Oh, the horror!!
Got my veggies in! I didn't realize how much I'd fallen into eating a meat/cheese diet until I started this journal! :O
B - 2 fried eggs (again, no whites), 2 figs, coffee + 1/2 and 1/2 (organic, but not grass-fed) + stevia
L - Spinach and onion, sauteed in coconut oil + butter (O, BNGF), one chicken sausage.
Pre-class: double coffee milk (coffee + 1/2 and 1/2 + stevia), but I still yawned my way through class.....
Post-class: 3 oz. pork chop + sauce + a few pretentious baby green beans + Caesar salad + glass Pinot Noir (at The Yellow Porch); plus 3 figs once I got home.
Exercise: 1 hour yoga + 1 hour walking at about 2.4. (what am I talking about here? mph? Surely not! But the treadmill says my speed is 2.4. This is slow, but puts me within the 55-75% of max range which I understand Mark feels is best. I was reading my Conflicts Legalines while walking, so had to occasionally slow WAY down so that I could underline something or make a quick note. )
Met goals 1, 2, and 3, but didn't meet #4 - LHT.
So tomorrow, my goals are:
2. Eat two veggies.
3. Yoga (I don't know if I should be including this, because a) it's not primal, so may not be implicated here, and b) it's a treat, so I don't really get credit for doing it. OTOH, could it be considered play? Hardly spontaneous, though....)
It's 11:36 p.m. I was going to journal (elsewhere!!) about some relationship issues, but I suddenly feel too exhausted. Adequate sleep is very Primal.
Welcome to journaling.
First of all there is absolutely nothing un-primal about yoga. It is great. Mark's wife is really into it.
Second, yes, you need to eat more veggies, lots more veggies. They will fill in the empty spaces in your stomach and keep you from overeating other stuff.
Third, you might want to consider cutting the dairy out of your diet for a bit and seeing if that might have something to do with your stall.
Fourth, I know figs and berries are yummie, but they are sugar and carb bombs. Go easy on them.
Fifth, can you even think about weaning yourself off coffee? I know some people will have the mug pried from their cold dead hand but, coffee gets you through a boring class but sets you up for cravings later on.
The LHT's are the best all around exercise system I have ever found. I have really toned and shaped up using them.
I wish you well. It sounds like you are down to the last little tinkerings now. Keep Grokin'
Hello, Paleobird, and thanks for your comments! I checked out your journal--you're in Africa! Sounds like you're having a wonderful time. :-)
Let me address your concerns, and maybe that will help me rethink these:
Coffee - yes, a definite weakness. I'm not as energetic as I'd like to be. Hopefully the exercise, which I'm trying to begin, will help with this. Also, my classes are at night, from 6:30 to 10 p.m., so sometimes I struggle against tiredness or depletion, rather than just boredom. And since I got a Keurig, I do drink less, probably because I can make a single cup and be done, rather than feeling guilty about the half pot sitting there begging to be consumed. All this said, I would like to cut back. I don't think I'm addicted, though, because I can skip a day with no headaches.
Figs - well, can't do anything about that right now, but fig season will soon be over. This is my yearly indulgence, but they're so costly at my local organic grocery that I can only buy in small quantities. So I eat a few a day, rather than the whole carton per day that I'd eat if I could. I planted a little fig tree last spring, but it didn't fruit this summer. I'm hoping for next summer, and then the figs will become more of an issue.
Berries - actually, I went a long time without any fruit whatsoever. I started out more Gary Taubes, and just morphed into primal along the way. I still feel tiny twinges of anxiety when I eat some fruit; it's not my normal thing, and not nearly a daily indulgence. For a while there I had a nice canteloupe, which took me forever to eat the whole thing because I wouldn't eat more than a half dozen bites per day. It was delicious with bacon or kielbasa, though!
Veggies - You're absolutely right! I did better yesterday, and would have done better today except for my experience, below. :-$
Yoga - Yay! So glad to hear you say that it's Primal-valued!
Dairy - Ouch! I know you're right, I just can't bring myself to try it. The sun would be dark before my eyes if I had no dairy! (lol) I was lactose intolerant due to stress for about 5 years (about 20 years ago!), so I've never gotten over the magic of being able to have cheese or ice cream again! But I know you're right. I tolerate lactose just fine now, but I do have lingering IBS problems and wonder if cutting out the dairy would help? Compared to the sheer agony dairy used to bring me, however, a few inconvenient runs to the bathroom seems like little to worry about. (The previous statement appears ridiculous even to me!)
Moving on to today:
B - 5 eggs fried in coconut oil. (Okay, I was reading about the leptin reset and decided to see what 50 grams of carbs would be like for breakfast. The anwer? Horrible!! Trying to stuff down those 5 eggs was unhappy, and normally I love fried eggs. Worse yet, I didn't even come close to the 50 grams. I was able to stuff in one small piece of bacon, which probably didn't make any difference since it was so fatty and tiny.)
L - nothing. Still unpleasantly stuffed by all those eggs. And normally, I'm a very big eater, which is somewhat embarrassing for a woman!
S (that's supper to you non-Southerners!) - a few almonds. STILL stuffed from those eggs! I ate the almonds on the way to class, then remembered that the leptin reset doesn't allow snacks, so I put them away, and that's the last thing I ate (that was about 6 hours ago). I'm somewhat hungry now, but it's late and so since I'm not crazy starving, I'm just going to call this a brief fast and go on to bed.
Goals for today:
1. LHT - yes!
2. Eat 2 veggies - no, even though I made a big pot of greens (kale) with pork jowl. Too full from those darn eggs!
3. Yoga - nope. I'll try tomorrow.
It's 12:42 p.m., so good night!
P.S. Goals for tomorrow:
1. Try again with the 2 veggies (I'll work up from there. I'm just out of the habit, but I have a gorgeous eggplant in the fridge, and I love eggplant!!)
2. Yoga - depends on when I get out of my meeting.
3. Try to figure out some way to play. I never play. I don't remember the last time I played physically. I really wouldn't have the least idea what to do or who to do it with.
Last edited by Grokianna; 09-08-2011 at 11:45 PM.
Whew, yesterday was chaotic and upsetting--broke up with boyfriend, went out with the girls and that was awful, and just a bunch of stuff, so the eating was a mess also, but here goes:
B - 2 eggs/coconut oil (cutting back on the eggs more every day)
L - sauteed spinach and onions + parmesan cheese
S/D - hamburger patty and half a dozen steak fries
evening out - 1.5 beers + chocolate/hazelnut martini (
Exercise: yoga - was so upset about bf that I left the meeting early so I could get to yoga.
(Was going to walk at the gym, but forgot my shoes - duh! - so could only barefoot in yoga. I've tried primal-feet at the gym before, but don't want to deal with bitchy patronizing gal, who tells me YMCA policy requires shod feet and implies that I'm barefoot because I'm not bright enough to tie my shoes. Grrr!)
bunch of coffee
B - 2 eggs/evco (eggs were WAY too runny - remember to cook them a bit longer on the over-easy side)
L - Bacon, tomato and mayonnaise (BLT without the L or the bread) - delicious!
S/D - miscellaneous (salami, kale, eggplant, onions, tomatoes, cheddar, evco)
afternoon - wine tasting: swallowed about 1/2 glass in total, mostly red, but remembered to spit out some and poured out the rest.
Exercise - none, unless you count nearly jumping off the table multiple times during my bikini/brazilian wax this morning! Yikes!!
Note: did much better with the veggies today!
Sleep - I'm WAY low, so off to bed now......
Well, I don't have a menu for yesterday....well, lemme think....
B - 2 eggs/evco
L - roast chicken, eggplant/onion/tomatoes, 3-4 raspberries
S/D - same as lunch + a quarter pound of Brie cheese (!!What!! Bad girl!!)
I spent the whole afternoon and evening studying hard for class tonight. I loved the focus and determination I had about that, but the down-side is that once I was done, I felt like I deserved some kind of reward, so I ate way too much yummy, soft, room-temperature cheese + stayed up way too late thinking about the Primal Challenge. Like, 2:45 a.m. too late. Moving on....
But, my exercise was 100% Bad Ass!! I LHT to LGN!! (Okay, I'm still doing my push-ups off the wall. But still BA for me!)
Here's my Primal Challenge Plan:
1. No dairy - ouch!!
2. No artificial sweeteners
3. No sugar. This means no ice cream or dark chocolate. In the past, these were two problem foods; not a big issue any more, don't know why.
4. No grains or starchy veggies. This is only an issue if I go out to a really good restaurant. Guess this means no sushi for the month. Oh, no!
B - 3 eggs/evco
L - eggplant/onions/tomato + 5 raspberries
S/D - e/o/t
I'm in class now, yawning my head off because I could only choke down one cup of black coffee this morning. I didn't bother with my usual pre-class cup because black coffee is so horrible, but I'm paying for it now. Of course, if I'd had more than about 6 hours of sleep, that might also help.
1 great hour of Yoga
45 minutes low and slow cardio, walked on treadmill while reading about Negotiable Instruments.
Yoga + walking.
Last edited by Grokianna; 09-13-2011 at 10:50 PM.
Food today: total disaster.
B - 3 eggs/evco
L - very late, 3:30-ish. By this time I was tired, very hungry and stranded out while my car got some dumb and expensive 80,000 mile service. So I went to Newk's, and wound up with a humongous salad that had to have AT LEAST a cup and a half of blue cheese dressing on it! At one time, I would have scarfed down that non-carby mess and been delighted with myself for skipping the bread! Now however, I'm just grossed out by the nasty processed oils that I know were in there + the tons of dairy which I've sworn off! Grrr! Salad dressing is always a big problem for me.
Snack - eating too much of the world's most gigantic corn oil salad left me exhausted, and the car STILL wasn't ready, so I stumbled into Starbucks and got an iced coffee with heavy cream + Splenda. Worser and worser!! (There was some amusement, however, in watching this young couple, obviously Beautiful People Wanna-Be's, pose and strut around the SB like they'd never been in one before. They were both about 7 feet tall, combined weight of 100 pounds, self-consciously cool clothes, and they wore these exaggerated expressions of ennui like they were being photographed for a Vogue fashion spread. We're the suburbs of Nashville, so we get celebs, but I don't think these two were really Anybody. I wasn't the only person amused, though....)
S/D - miscellaneous pumpkin seeds, eaten right out of the carton by sticking my tongue to the seeds and transporting to mouth. Gross. I'm getting used to the empty nest, obviously. TOO used to it.
Exercise: this at least was excellent!
Yoga - 1 hour
Low and slow treadmill - 2 frickin hours!! Yeah. Hour One: played with iPhone, caught up with people on FB, etc. Hour Two: read Dave Barry on Kindle; tried and failed to keep from laughing idiotically the whole time.
Positive: Bought local, grass-fed beef BONES today at Whole Paycheck, so I can try making beef broth. Also bought scary pet-grade raw chicken for the cat. Eeek! I won't even touch the container--had to grab plastic bag from produce to pick it up with. Human-grade raw chicken (whatever that is!) freaks me out enough already--I can't imagine where this stuff has been. *shudder*
Last edited by Grokianna; 09-13-2011 at 11:14 PM.
Let's start out with some positives, shall we?
Getting more sleep: Much improved! Every night so far, (this makes 3!) I've kept to my goal of getting in bed, face washed and teeth brushed, by 11 p.m. Yes, I've taken reading material and the computer (obviously!), but I'm actually in bed with no plans to get up. Since I'm exercising most days and actually getting up at a reasonable time, I get sleepy and go to sleep within the hour. For me, that's very good.
Sweeteners and dairy: I haven't been able to stop yet, but these are definitely reduced, and I'll just keep trying to get them out of my life entirely, at least long enough to see if it makes a difference to my body. It would seem so easy--"Just don't put them in my mouth!!"--but it's not. I didn't plan ahead, and made a wonderful eggplant dish with organic veggies AND cheese on the day before the challenge started. I'm willing to toss some foods and donate others, but the combination of expensive organics plus the fact that I spent TIME preparing the dish makes me incapable of throwing it away. (Not to mention that I just love it!)
As for the sweetener (Stevia), I can't figure out how to live without it. Primal Me has more energy than bloated Carby Me, but I still very much want coffee twice a day (morning and late afternoon). Black coffee is disgusting to me , but if I don't get any, I'm too tired to study or concentrate. I've tried--it doesn't work. I don't know what to do here.
Actually, that takes care of the negatives, too.
B - late, about a dozen thick slices of bacon, oven roasted. WHAT?!
L - a stupid restaurant again! Panera, chicken Caesar, no croutons, but once I got it to the table, I realized it had parmesan cheese. I already rolled my eyes and shrugged about the processed oils that went into the dressing. I don't think there's any way to stay even 80% Primal in a restaurant...?!?! I said no bread, chips or apple, but they gave me the bread anyway. Nobody else wanted it, so I just ignored it until it went away.
S/D - had the last small bit of Eggplant Yummie for a late supper + small glass unsweetened coconut milk.
Exercise: rest day. I wanted to LHT, but my tennis elbow was hurting a lot more today, so I backed off. Icing tonight, so hoping for better things tomorrow.
Yoga, roast chicken, kale, reading for Conflicts, sprinting, adding mirepoix to the bone broth in the crockpot. (I wish the broth was looking browner, richer. I roasted the bones, per Mark, but right now the liquid just looks pale--like old dishwater. Yech!)
Also, on a whim, I bought some bee pollen from a local beekeeper. I need to see what Our Benevolent Dictator has to say about that. Probably that it's terrible!!
Lastly, a gf and I are going out on Friday to a wine bar that she has a Groupon for. But I'd sworn a moratorium on alcohol for the duration.....?? This is getting uncomfortably difficult. I think I tried to crack down on everything at once, and it's too much. Just the sleep thing is big for me.
Last edited by Grokianna; 09-14-2011 at 10:32 PM.
Okay, here's a quickie. I'm tired! Class was both difficult and boring, after a day of studying + yoga.
B - 3 eggs + evco (getting to be my standard, but I'm getting better at the eggs every day. Today was the best yet - whites all done with those lovely crispy edges, yolks somewhere between runny and moist. I just want to tighten up on the timing and heat so that the whites stay the same, but the yolks are runnier. Revoltingly, I really like for the yolks to be warmed up, but not cooked, so I can eat my eggs by cutting around the yolks to eat up all the whites first and then putting the yolks into my mouth whole--very rude and disgusting, I know, but I don't do it in public--and then when I bite the yolks, there is a lovely burst of warm, rich, yolk in my mouth. This is not a sexual thing, unless you think food is sexy, which I confess, I do. )
L - uh, bacon.... and what??
S/D - more bacon.....
No, there has to be more to it than that! Oh, yeah.... Lunch was a salad with homemade balsamic vinagrette (made with carefully-collected bacon grease, but otherwise my usual recipe), chicken sausage (Trader Joe's, and was it ever awful - Yuck!), Bradley tomato, pumpkin seeds, and 1/4 teaspoon bee pollen (about which I've found Mark to be uncharacteristically silent, unless I'm missing something).
That's a better day in some ways (no processed oils, no cheese! , and little Stevia), but lacks veggies!
Exercise: yoga + I ran sprints!! (On the treadmill. While waiting for the bacon to cook in the oven.)
Earlier tonight, while at school, I thought of something about Primal which really struck me, to the point that I thought about adding this clever little tidbit to my journal during lecture. The reason I wanted to post it immediately is because I knew I'd lose it if I didn't, and that's exactly what happened.
Last edited by Grokianna; 09-15-2011 at 10:57 PM.
Another day, another attempt!
Today during yoga, when we did that back bend thingy (I can't even begin to grasp what my teacher is saying in yoga-speak - Hindi?), I felt a new and very uncomfortable tightness and muscle spasmy thing at the base of my skull. Relaxing my shoulders, opening my arms and elbows, pulling my neck up--nothing worked to get rid of that horrible feeling. After class, I spoke to Jim (teacher) and he commented that I've sped up my pace with yoga (and physical exercise in general) very, very quickly, and that maybe I should take some time to rest my body. It's true that at 46, I've done almost nothing physically for most of my life. I was raised in a book-reading, historical-site vacationing, non-physically active family--nobody even watched sports on tv. Being active is very new to me, and I'm forced to agree that doing something every single day PLUS an hour of yoga 4 days a week is probably too much. That sort of hellbent-for-leather approach is how I wound up with this tennis elbow, which, incidently, has been hurting me more than usual in the last few days. So, I'm cutting back.
This is frustrating, too. I love being more active, and find it very addictive. And I'm so anxious to see improvements in my body composition and appearance. So I'm not reverting to my previous couch potato habits, but I'm going to take it more slowly. I guess I need to remember that many of those in the Primal community are both younger and more accustomed to exercise. And I am happy to say that I can see some improvements even now. When I started yoga, and we were doing Plank, Jim would always tell us to lower slowly to the ground and hover over the mat briefly before descending the last few inches. I could never do any such thing--once my arms unlocked, I would just pretty much fall (whump!) right onto the mat, having no strength in my muscles to hover or even slow my descent. As we did this yesterday, I noticed that I could lower my body slowly and even hover for a second or two before I collapsed the last 3-4 inches to the floor. That's a definite improvement, and I was very happy when I discovered it!
Also, I'm trying to moderate a bit on the food, as described in my previous post. Today there were NO grains, NO starchy vegetables, NO cow cheese and NO sour cream, and I need to appreciate that as a success, instead of making myself crazy because I had two glasses of white wine + a glass of port when I was out with my girlfriends tonight. As a single lady newly living alone, my life just isn't the same as when I was a married mom of two small children, or even as an engaged mom with teenagers at home. As much as possible, while I make the adjustment to my new situation, I want to support my mood and emotional calm/peace. Eating Primally and exercising is a huge part of this, but staying at home by myself on Friday evening to study the Daily Apple forum can't take the place of going out with friends and enjoying talk and laughter and commiseration about our lives. At any rate, I only ate one small salad while I was out--I didn't order the shrimp and grits OR the chocolate torte, and I can take some pride in that, I suppose.
B - the usual
L - almonds, chicken, hollandaise sauce
S/D - watermelon, cucumber, baby greens, onion, feta salad + pinot grigio
Dessert - tawny port.
Exercise - yoga (as described above)
Tomorrow I go out of town, for one night, with my mother and sister to go to the theater and see productions of Chicago and Dreamgirls. Should be fun! I'm going to do my best to be Primal, but also to not stress and get nutsy. I'll always be Primal, and can get enthusiastically nitpicky about it when I return.