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Thread: Primal Journal of VeloCity.X - wheeling through the Mound City page 15

  1. #141
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    Primal Fuel
    Thursday, February 02, 2012
    Well, I told myself I’d do this early and then get to cleaning/straightening since the cleaning folks are coming tomorrow, but just started surfing. Facebook and what not. So doing it now and will still be up for a while straightening up.

    B – Broke my fast this morning and I was sort of hungry. Couple pieces of bacon, 2.5 scrambled eggs. Also had probably a cup or so of full fat greek yogurt with a tablespoon or so of honey.

    L – Last of the spaghetti squash with marinara sauce. Small tossed salad. And a banana and a clementine. Was feeling really hungry.

    D – Kids ask for cereal (ugh) for dinner and I gave in based on the tight time line. I had some of the confit chicken. I also ended up finishing up the milk in their bowls since they didn’t. Sure there was a ton of sugar in it. I know I need to ween them off of standard breakfast cereals, but it’s hard to get something together in the morning.

    S – Got the kids some popcorn at the skating rink and I had a handful or so. Not a ton. Also had a handful of raw cashews when I got home. Will probably have a bit more to eat while I’m cleaning.

    So yesterday was an IF, and I’m sure I got a bit dehydrated out at the job site, too, but my weight this morning was 165.9 lbs, the lowest it’s been, probably since I raced in France. It may be only a pound or so a month, but I do think I am still steadily losing a bit of weight. Like I said I’d still like to lean out some and at least have a period of time where my abs are visible.

    This morning DD gave me a bit of a guilt trip. Guess it was open house for parents to visit classes today, one hour in the morning and one in the afternoon. She asked if I could stay for the morning and I couldn’t due to a meeting, and then gave me the puppy dog eyes to do the afternoon. So I told her I would and ended up taking a half day. Actually it worked out well ‘cause we went and got the pork roasts for the pulled pork right after school let out. Got home and had our quick dinner, then off to an ice skating party for the school. Second time ice skating this year, more than I’ve done in years. Still had to go with them and hold them up most of the time. My sister, who is a skating instructor, said I should have asked her to come. Frankly I didn’t think of it. I should have though. They are getting better, but still need to be held on to. But I think we need to go some Saturday or Sunday and have sister, kids, and me there. I think we’d have fun and I bet they’d make much more progress with her there.

    So obviously I wasn’t able to get to the Y today. I am taking the day off tomorrow to get stuff ready for the party but still have to go teach my spinning class at the Y. Think I may take the circuit training class right afterwards. And will probably ride my bike to class if the weather is ok.

    And my abs are still a bit sore when I’m really using them.
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread37152.html

  2. #142
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    Ok so I started tracking and recording my weight daily since about the end of October and have recently added it to an Excel spreadsheet. I just looked up how to do trend lines to the graph and over that time the line does show that I have been losing weight, at right about a pound per month. I guess that still counts as slow and steady? Is it better to get to my goals that gradually? I wonder...
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread37152.html

  3. #143
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    Friday, February 03, 2012
    Ok, going to be quick. It’s 11:30 and want to do a bit more on getting some furniture put together before my party tomorrow.

    B – Last of the chicken thigh confit, about a cup of greek yogurt with a tablespoon or so of honey, and drank the last of the milk from the kids’ cereal. Just can’t let it go to waste. An obsession of mine. Maybe I was a street urchin in a previous life. Or a holocaust victim. Read a graphic novel about WW2 and the Holocaust where a survivor turned into basically a hoarder. Maus. Great book.

    S – Had an apple as I was heading out to do my Spinning class.

    L – Out running errands and went by this artisan salami place that gets rave reviews. Stopped by there for lunch. Ok, I did get a sandwich on bread. And it was awesome.

    D – Ate at my parents’ house. Had some roast beef with some sort of gravy, a small bowl of chili (with beans) and a couple bites of pizza. Yeah, I had a couple of my mom’s brownies. So what?

    S – Had a few bites of the pulled pork as I was pulling it. And a handful of cashews.

    So not the best day eating. Oh well. Working on getting things ready for my party. I’ll be back on the bandwagon come next week.

    As I said I led my Spinning class today. Got in some good sprints and other varied work. Was planning on taking the cross-fit like circuit class afterwards, but turns out the instructor changed the time to be right against mine for this session. That sucks. So I ended up just doing the spin class and that’s it. Needed the time to do stuff anyway.

    Other than that, just been getting things ready. Framed a couple more pictures, including a couple of drawings by the kids that I really like. Got a couple of pieces of furniture to put together still. And I slow-cooked the pork roasts all day today and shredded them tonight. In the fridge now and the sauce is in jars in the fridge too so the fat can congeal. Will pull most of that off, reduce it down some, and then be ready to go. Will also do like a bourbon glaze for the little smokies and a chili-cheese dip.

    I really have no idea how many people will be coming or dropping by this party. It may be a good number, and my house just isn’t that big. Oh well. Should be a good time. Curious to see what will happen. I’ve invited a few single women that I… well if I don’t have my eye on them, I at least have some sort of interest. And what probably seems strange is that my ETB will be there as well. What’s the worst that can happen, right?
    Ok, going to get a little more work done before I go to bed.
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread37152.html

  4. #144
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    Monday, February 06, 2012

    Ok, it’s been a few days. Gonna try to catch up a bit.

    Saturday, February 4, 2012
    Day of my party, so I was working on that most of the day. Had a bit of jerky at one point, then knew I needed to really eat something so while I was getting the last of what I needed at the store I picked up a rotisserie chicken and ate over half of it during the day/afternoon. Think I’ve got part of a breast and picking the carcass left. But now it’s definitely time to make some more broth. At the party I probably had 4 or 5 drinks. Not that bad. Did have some chips and salsa, some of the pulled pork, etc. Could have been worse.

    Sunday, February 5, 2012
    Happy birthday to me. Bit of a headache right when I woke up. Not too bad. Got started on cleaning up when I got a call to help out with the birthday party my daughter was going to that day. The hosts, who are always late for everything, came out to a flat tire. So I had to run over there pick him up (the kids had all gone with her) and take him to fill the cooler with beer/wine for the grownups, then run him up to the party. Since it was a ways away I decided to just stay. My daughter had a sleep-over at their house the night before and obviously had not slept enough. She was not having a very good time so we left early. ETB dropped the boy off at my place, I napped a bit while the kids played downstairs then we all lounged on the bed until going over to my sister’s place to watch the superbowl. Then home and bed. Only I was in a pretty melancholy mood, which tends to leave me surfing for nothing on the internet until quite late in the morning.

    Oh, food. That’s what I’m supposed to be doing here.
    B – Had some of the left over pulled pork on my way out of the door.
    L – Not good. Pizza at the party, and a piece of cake.
    D – Also not good. At my sister’s house. Chili with beans and cornbread. And some of the cherry cobbler/pudding thing my mom makes. It was for my birthday, so heck yeah I’m going to eat it.

    Which gets us back to today, Monday December 6th
    B – Left-over Little Smokies with lettuce wrapping.
    L – Left over pulled pork with lettuce wrapping. Small side salad. I did have some tortilla chips left over from the office party.
    D – Pretty much the same as lunch. Including some of the tortilla chips left over from the party. And some of my birthday treat.

    I actually did work out today. Did the circuit training class today. Good exercises, but for most of them I needed more weight. Too many girls in that class and today’s was too focused on dumbbell exercises. Had to bring out heavier weights for all of them and still not enough the first time through. Did some pull-ups afterwards.

    Other than that.. I really don’t know. I think the party went well. Had a good turnout, although of course there were a number of no-shows, including some folks that I really would have liked to have seen. I think the house looked good. I even put up a facebook post that the place actually looked like an adult lived here. Ha! Of course as is my nature I still see all the problems (plus I’ve been doing pretty much nothing but that for my job for the last 4 months) and I felt like a bit of a fraud as I had spent the last couple hours before the party shoving things into closets and drawers, etc.

    I think when I’m feeling this way my posts get longer and more morose.

    So my ETB came to the party, I kinda felt obligated to invite her, I know she would have been upset if I hadn’t, which is in itself repeating many of the same patterns. It was kind of weird to have her here. Natural yet strange at the same time. And it was really odd when she introduced people by stating that so and so was in our wedding. I mean, really? Is that the sort of thing you’d say at a party your estranged husband is throwing? And then what I would call my chief advocate at the party, a friend since I was 11 or 12, at one point was talking to her and told her what a messed up situation all of this is, and how he and his wife were upset about the whole thing. And I didn’t get the whole story but she was telling him something about how I didn’t make her feel special and didn’t tell her how pretty she was, etc. Jesus what a mess. And it’s just like as soon as I feel like I’m making some progress something happens to make me question everything again. And the kids just seem to be very fragile emotionally, which makes me think they aren’t handling things that well. They just seem to get upset and cry easily, and of course they instinctively know how to push each other’s buttons. And do so. So ETB suggested that we might want to get involved with a ‘kids in the middle’ group. Which sounds good to me, but she and I have never sat down to talk to them, and she’s never talked to them about her relationship with T at all. And of course, any trepidation I’m feeling is really immaterial as long as T is still there. I just feel kind of numbed by the whole thing. It’s like I’m not angry enough to get pissed and cut things off and be definitive, but my lack of emotion also makes me feel like I don’t want it enough to try to fix things. Ugh.

    So to completely change things up…. At this party there were I’m pretty certain 4 women who would be interested in dating me (or having some sort of amorous relationship) but the thing is, even if I did feel like I was at that point, I’m just not really interested in any of them. And as an aside, what’s kind of funny is that I kind of set these deadlines. By December I’ll be ready to go. By Christmas I’ll be ready to go. By my birthday I’ll be ready to go. Haven’t hit one yet. And I think they are also tied to when I will shave off my moustache. Now I’m thinking I need to keep it until Mardi Gras. But I think obviously ETB and I need to get together and talk some more. We’re just both a bit resistant to it.

    But to continue in the happier vein, I’ve got a question of sorts. I may have to post this on the general message board just so I have a better chance at getting a response. Ok, so here’s the thing. There is a woman that I am interested in. Like me she’s also in the process of going through a divorce, and she’s also a parent at the school. Our daughters are good friends (although seemingly fighting now). We were both at this event this evening and some friends that I hadn’t seen in a long time came in and one commented on how I’d lost a lot of weight (probably about 50 total over the last year) and how thin I looked, etc. And this woman that I have some interest in made a comment about how I need to watch that, that I was getting so thin that women were going to look at me and think I may weigh less than them, and that would be a problem. And I had no idea how to respond to that, because while this is an attractive woman, in relatively good shape for having a baby probably within the last year I think, she very well may weigh more than I. And that is probably mostly because she’s a good inch or two taller than me bare footed. I’m not bone thin or anything, but I don’t carry a tremendous amount of muscle, although I am working on that, but I don’t have bodybuilder aspirations. And I’m right at 5’-10”, so she’s obviously a fairly tall woman. With heels on she’s quite a bit taller. So fumbling around I said ‘Well, you’ve got an inch or two on me.” And she responds with “Or 3 or 4. Maybe 6.” And she’s deadpanning the whole time, so I don’t know if it’s banter or what. So here’s the question…. From a woman’s perspective, is it a problem if the guy is shorter? Or maybe I should say, how big of a problem is it if the guy is shorter? And what if that makes the guy potentially weigh a bit less even?
    Alright, I stayed home so I could go to bed early tonight. Time to do exactly that.
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread37152.html

  5. #145
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    Oh, one thing that I forgot to mention. Drinking, grains, etc. Reflux is back and I don't like it. Today was a bit of a transition day - seemed to be feeling a bit of the carb flu - but I need to get back on the band-wagon so I can throw this again. Don't like reflux one bit. Good thing I've got plenty of the pulled pork yet.
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread37152.html

  6. #146
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    Tuesday, February 7, 2012

    Trying to get back on track here, even if it does mean skipping other things I should be doing, like cleaning up the disaster that is the kids' room after the party.

    B - Left over little smokies in bourbon sauce with lettuce wraps.
    L - Left over pulled pork with lettuce wraps. Small side salad.
    S -Did have a couple of handfulls of popcorn at the office. Air popped with butter. And then I got a small pack of raw almods before the WOD.
    D - Had to do a bit of grocery shopping after the WOD and ended up getting myself about a pound of fairly cheap (conventional) steak - don't remember what type - chuck round maybe?? and did it up under the broiler with just a bit of salt and pepper. Yummy. Also polished off the cherry cobler/pudding stuff. Birthday is now over. And did cheat with a couple of tortilla chips, to keep things honest.

    Taught my Spinning class today, only 1 person but that's not too atypical. Did get a couple of intervals in, but didn't work as hard as I could due to the WOD in the evening. Had a USGBC meeting right after work then the Primal Living MeetUp WOD. It was a good one. 10 each pushups, pull ups, sit ups, box jumps, squats to warm up. The some active stretching. The actual workout was 12 minutes (I think) as many rounds as possible with an I, Caveman theme. Stalking - rotate either bear crawl or lunge. Killing - rotate either sledge on tire or medicine ball slams. Carrying - rotate either farmer's carry or fireman's carry (I did one arm fireman, one arm farmer for that one) with the heaviest kettle bell we could manage. That was a good workout.

    Other than that, I don't think I have much to add at this point. Dont' feel like complainign like I did last night. Going to clean just a bit, then bed.
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread37152.html

  7. #147
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    I'm glad you enjoyed your party. I wrote a bunch of stuff in reply to your party post, but lost it when the site went doolally for a bit there.

    Happy birthday for the 5th. Keep being awesome.
    Live. Grow. Flourish.

    My Journal/story is at http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread38948.html

  8. #148
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    February 8, 2012
    B – Last of the little smokies with lettuce wrapping. 2 bananas.
    S – One clementine
    L – Last of the pulled pork, with a bit of lettuce wrap, small side salad, clementine, small apple.
    D – Nothing really. Had my appointment, got home and cleaned a bit before getting the kids to bed. Had a handful of raw cashews, but that’s it. Tired and didn’t feel like eating.

    Took the day off from the gym today. Maybe should have gone to the Y and done the spinning class, but oh well. Will do a circuit training on my own tomorrow.

    Had my appointment tonight. She’s going to give me the name of another counselor for the two of us to go meet with. I think we have to do that to move forward either way. Not that I really think we’re going to resolve anything, but we’re clearly not making any progress as it is.

    Been feeling lonely a lot lately.

    Ok, I don’t think I want to type anymore.
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread37152.html

  9. #149
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    Thursday, February 09, 2012
    Keeping it brief.
    B and L – IF
    D – Made burritos for the kids. I had meat cheese and salsa on a small bowl of salad greens, and half a small burrito my son didn’t eat. I also had the rest of the taco meat with cheese and pork rinds as primal nachos. Probably should have skipped that. And later on I had a bottle of hard cider.

    Did not make it to the Y today. Forgot I had signed up for a lunch presentation at work. That was pretty cool, acutally.

    Other than that, not much to tell. Took an over the counter sleeping pill for tonight. I’m just not sleeping enough. I figure I’m getting about 5 hours a night. I went to bed kind of early last night – before 11, but work up from a dream at about 4:45 and never did get back to sleep. Also may try to use the CPAP again. Will be the first time in probably 9 or 10 months. Since I’ve lost the bulk of the weight. But I need more sleep.

    Apparently the gal who is taller than me may have a bit of a crush on me, if that is possible at 40 some years old. I’m not sure what kind of position I am in to do anything about that, but I kinda like the idea…
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread37152.html

  10. #150
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    Ok, time to catch up on some missed posts due to forum being down. Typed them, but couldn't post them.

    Thursday, February 09, 2012
    Keeping it brief.
    B and L – IF
    D – Made burritos for the kids. I had meat cheese and salsa on a small bowl of salad greens, and half a small burrito my son didn’t eat. I also had the rest of the taco meat with cheese and pork rinds as primal nachos. Probably should have skipped that. And later on I had a bottle of hard cider.

    Did not make it to the Y today. Forgot I had signed up for a lunch presentation at work. That was pretty cool, acutally.

    Other than that, not much to tell. Took an over the counter sleeping pill for tonight. I’m just not sleeping enough. I figure I’m getting about 5 hours a night. I went to bed kind of early last night – before 11, but work up from a dream at about 4:45 and never did get back to sleep. Also may try to use the CPAP again. Will be the first time in probably 9 or 10 months. Since I’ve lost the bulk of the weight. But I need more sleep.

    Apparently the gal who is taller than me may have a bit of a crush on me, if that is possible at 40 some years old. I’m not sure what kind of position I am in to do anything about that, but I kinda like the idea…
    Trying a journal. We'll see how long that lasts....

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread37152.html

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