Being Healthy Is Apparently Socially Unnattractive page 3

[Chaohinon]

He posted links (gasp! shriek!), and they attacked him. Who's condescending to who?

Look at it this way: my buddy posts photos and stories of his mountain-climbing adventures all the time. What if I were to rage at him about how, "hey, maybe we don't all like to climb mountains! Extreme mountain climbers are socially unattractive! I'd rather be down here at ground level than having fun with stupid rocks!"

Well, that would be kind of retarded, wouldn't it?

[davem]

Well, maybe he's posting the links and saying, "If you don't do this, FOAD! Chumps. See you whales in 40#."

[CandylandCanary]

I have noticed this belief amongst my current social circle because not drinking and eating out with friends at unhealthy places is considered normal. Even my mother who is overweight has told me that eating extreme will isolate you from society.

Well, consider that being overweight, routinely overeating, getting little exercise, eating shite (as you noted), eating out often (which is $$$ that you really don't need to spend for food that tends to be sugar/grain/PUFA bomb crapola)... is also normal. Getting diabetes, thyroid issues, etc... also normal. Seriously, fuck "normal".

But it IS really true that you'll get static from people about paleo, about being health conscious. I'm used to it because I've always been a freak. These days I just lie to get people off my back. 'Oh, I'm diabetic.' 'I'm on the wagon.' 'I have food allergies.' 'I have a chronic illness that I have to manage with lifestyle changes' (this one is true, though.) It works... kinda. But I am used to people thinking I'm a total weirdo anyway.

It does suck, though. But you've kind of got to tune these people out and take care of yourself.

[zoebird]

lol davem.

ok, for me, it's not an issue.

i mean, i had one friend unfriend me on FB because i dared question her logic on two fronts: 1. ahimsa and diet; and 2. exercise. In the first, she was going on and on about how everyone has to be vegan in order to "really" practice yoga and in order to "really" practice ahimsa. And I said that simply isn't the case in my understanding and experience. That was it. Just one line. Then she asks "well, how can YOU practice and TEACH ahimsa (nonviolence, btw) if you eat meat/dairy/eggs?!!!" and I replied back in a very respectful way. It was quite academic actually, with references and everything. EG, the idea of the connection between ahimsa and vegetarianism is really only about 100-120 years old -- it's not traditional to the vedic culture. There are other connections in saucha (cleanliness) and also about certain phases of one's life (eg, sunyansin or rennunciant phases). I explained the vedic culture, the different classes and sorts of people, the different times in a person's life and how that impacts what they eat (eg, fertile women are supposed to eat quite a lot of animal product, for example), and how that is vedically consistent. In addition, i spoke to the idea of the dharma from the hindu perspective -- which is really that each person understands and applies these values differently based on their unique context. And therefore, I can both TEACH and APPLY ahimsa appropriately, in regards to diet and everything else.

Then, she posted a link to her "new ab regime" which involved about 45 minutes of movements using 2 lb weights. Now, my friend lost 150 lbs over the last 3 years being vegan, doing yoga, and starting up running and spinning. Good for her awesomeness! I always celebrated that. But I thought this workout was ridiculous, because the young woman -- at still about 50 lbs overweight -- can do the most beautiful, strong yoga poses. Arm balances of all kinds, plank pose, side plank, hand stand, head stand, etc. So, the core strength is already there. These 45-minutes with 2 lb weights are really. . . nothing. Seriously.

So, I wrote to her and I said "but girl, look at how strong your abs are?! why would you spend the time on these exercises that aren't doing any more for you than what you already do! I just don't see this as bringing you the results you really want." Now, this may have been judgmental, but it was honest -- and I thought we had an honest relationship. I told her that I thought she would do well to work on some different postures, and consider these (x, y, z) and these sequences, which would use body weight and provide the same results.

She then said that she didn't need "constant criticism from the peanut gallery" -- and had no clue what she was talking about because other than the ahimsa one and this one, i was always going "good job!" or "that sounds awesome!" and stuff. So, I asked "what's up? what do you mean?" and then i was un-friended.

I apparently really needed to talk about that. LOL

---

anyway, i think that people take a lot of things as judgments. that is, you are judging them by doing what you are doing. this is -- obviously -- not true. i mean, taking care of myself is really only focusing on me, and i'm not really focused on anyone else.

paleo is not popular here, but everyone has some dietary consideration here. LOL gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, low salt, etc. so, everyone is a weirdo.

and i've only gotten the stink-eye for giving DS -- when he was around 1-1.5 yrs old -- ice cream. you just don't do that here.

[Winterbike]

I left peer pressure behind in high school.

+1 also

I know people like that. They tell me I'm missing out on life. At first it bothered me because I thought there was some truth into it, then I realized I look better than them, I'm more agile, I'm stronger, I wake up feeling great, my sex life is amazing, my wife is in great shape and looks stunning, I can focus more than 1 hour at a time without needing a sugar refeed, everything I cook tastes amazing, all my friends like physical activity and never turn down a chance to spar or play, and the list could go on for three pages.

Some people desperately want to drag you down to their level. F*ck them. It's harsh, but life is short, find friends who bring more to the table than thet take, friends who help you being a better person.

[TigerLily]

When you start winning, those who are not will try to bring you down.

[zoebird]

i often ask "what parts of life am I missing out on?"

and they can't answer the question. it's usually "junk food" and "cake" (said as "holidays" and "birthdays!"), but i show them that i'm not actually missing junk foods, and that i still celebrate holidays and birthdays -- but without junk cakes and stuff. instead, we usually get a vegan, gluten free cake that is really good (it is rice and coconut flour). so, we really *aren't* missing out.

and I point out to them -- you are missing out on really awesome hikes around town and in the bush! you are missing out on swimming for hours and hours because you can! you are missing out on dancing the night away! you are missing out on feeling great in your clothes, feeling confident in your body, and really feeling happy. And I say "because i've seen you slouch, complain about your weight, your clothes, etc, and simply not feel confident. i've seen you avoid certain activities because you fear your size, your health, and that you would hurt yourself."

and I pointed out to a friend of mine -- who managed to sprain both ankles washing her car -- that you can do mundane things without spraining both ankles. She doesn't hike because "i have weak ankles." and I said "you could strengthen your ankles, loose the excess weight, and hike as much as you want."

but apparently, cake is more important.

[Leida]

Mind you, it is perfectly fine to have a cake once a year for your birthday. I am making meringue lemon torte for mine this year, and I am going have a piece. In fact, having a deviation ~ once a month is perfectly Okay, and is not going to impact anything, unless you have speific illnesses etc. If you are a healthy, vibrant person, a few bites of a junk food ain't gonna bring you down.

[LJH]

"Being a health freak is unnattractive" "Health concious people are so annoying."

Let's see ... I've always been unattractive and annoying, with natural hermit tendencies. So now I'm an unattractive, annoying and HEALTHY hermit. Anybody has a problem with that, tough chit.

[IvyBlue]

A group of people I'm with might include: 1. A woman w/ severe shellfish/nut allergy; 2. A somewhat observant Jew; 3. A vegetarian; 4. A recovering alcoholic and primal me. So I pass on the bread plate and ask for a second veg in place of the potato, what's the BFD, it's the restaurant's problem to deal w/ everyone else.

I will say that I've become a bit of a lightweight in the alcohol department, 2's really my limit now but now that we are all getting a bit older my friends seem to be drinking less as well, all good. Holidays? No stuffing thanks, please pass the gravy, done.