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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page

  1. #1
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    Aug 2011
    Magical Bamboo Forest

    Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

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    I did not know.

    For years, I felt virtuous for eating almost no meat and choosing wheat over white. I ran miles at the gym. And yet my reflection in the mirror was not of an average-size panda grooving under the disco ball in my bathroom, but an engorged tick that appeared to be sucking the sugary lifeblood out of every doughnut in the state.

    231 pounds is my High Score. I do not carry it well. Knees throb. Tinnitus worsens. Cheeks bloat. GERD slips into my bed at night with its whip of esophageal fire, and I am just not into hardcore SM. Sweat collects in folds and the trickling down my skin of an escaped drop has woken me more than once. Inspecting my droop and dimple, I ponder: would I answer my own personal ad if I were someone else? I would not.

    Gay Panda is vain, and Gay Panda admits it.

    When I rode over MDA in my drunken Internet traffic weaving, looking for any solution beyond the semi-starvation misery of CW, I was 217. MDA led to Gary Taubes, who unhinged my jaw and placed it on the floor, where it remains to this day. I did not know. I had trusted that health experts were actually experts, the same way you trust at age five that your parents actually know what they are doing.

    I have been primal since April. Progress is slow, but my jeans are a size smaller. My face has lost some of the engorged tick look and I am down to 193.8. Far from fabulous, but tonight Iíll know that Iím going in the right direction as I eat my sirloin.

    Once I learn how to cook it.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 02-19-2012 at 07:44 PM.

  2. #2
    Blackbird's Avatar
    Blackbird is offline Senior Member
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    May 2011
    Portland, OR
    Raw sirloin is extra primal!

    "Wait! I'll fix it!"
    "Problems always disappear in the presence of a technician."
    "If you can't improvise, what are you doing out in the field?"

  3. #3
    RitaRose's Avatar
    RitaRose is offline Senior Member
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    Apr 2011
    Looking forward to more posts from you - absolutely hilarious images flying through my head now!
    My sorely neglected blog -

  4. #4
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    Aug 2010
    haha welcome
    yeah you are

    I used to think I was funny until I met Kathy Griffin. Iím gonna have to call my mama and have her tell me how good I am. - ginger minj

  5. #5
    iniQuity's Avatar
    iniQuity is offline Senior Member
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    Feb 2010
    Northern NJ
    Welcome, new favorite poster. May your road to fabulous be fabulous.

  6. #6
    TigerLily's Avatar
    TigerLily is offline Senior Member
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    Sep 2009
    metro Portland
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

  7. #7
    geostump's Avatar
    geostump is offline Senior Member
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    Nov 2010
    Ohio, its not the heart of it all
    Totally wickedly badassedry hilarity!!! Definitely fabulous!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Middle of nowhere, MS
    Brilliant opener!

  9. #9
    HillsideGina's Avatar
    HillsideGina is offline Senior Member
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    Jan 2011
    Fab is as Fab does, Panda darling! Here's some more jaw-dropping info for you:

    The Big Fat Fiasco

  10. #10
    Griffin's Avatar
    Griffin is offline Senior Member
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    Jun 2011
    Edmonton, Canada
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    Welcome aboard. I hope all of your posts aren't this mundane!
    There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

    My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

    The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!

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