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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page

  1. 08-31-2011, 01:32 PM #1
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda
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    Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS

    Primal Fuel
    I did not know.

    For years, I felt virtuous for eating almost no meat and choosing wheat over white. I ran miles at the gym. And yet my reflection in the mirror was not of an average-size panda grooving under the disco ball in my bathroom, but an engorged tick that appeared to be sucking the sugary lifeblood out of every doughnut in the state.

    231 pounds is my High Score. I do not carry it well. Knees throb. Tinnitus worsens. Cheeks bloat. GERD slips into my bed at night with its whip of esophageal fire, and I am just not into hardcore SM. Sweat collects in folds and the trickling down my skin of an escaped drop has woken me more than once. Inspecting my droop and dimple, I ponder: would I answer my own personal ad if I were someone else? I would not.

    Gay Panda is vain, and Gay Panda admits it.

    When I rode over MDA in my drunken Internet traffic weaving, looking for any solution beyond the semi-starvation misery of CW, I was 217. MDA led to Gary Taubes, who unhinged my jaw and placed it on the floor, where it remains to this day. I did not know. I had trusted that health experts were actually experts, the same way you trust at age five that your parents actually know what they are doing.

    I have been primal since April. Progress is slow, but my jeans are a size smaller. My face has lost some of the engorged tick look and I am down to 193.8. Far from fabulous, but tonight I’ll know that I’m going in the right direction as I eat my sirloin.

    Once I learn how to cook it.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 02-19-2012 at 07:44 PM.
    JOIN THE PANDA SHOW!!! Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS and PANDALOONERY!
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  2. 08-31-2011, 01:46 PM #2
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    Blackbird
    Blackbird is offline Senior Member
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    Raw sirloin is extra primal!

    Welcome!
    "Wait! I'll fix it!"
    "Problems always disappear in the presence of a technician."
    "If you can't improvise, what are you doing out in the field?"
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  3. 08-31-2011, 01:48 PM #3
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    RitaRose
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    Looking forward to more posts from you - absolutely hilarious images flying through my head now!
    My sorely neglected blog - http://ThatWriterBroad.com
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  4. 08-31-2011, 01:57 PM #4
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    bloodorchid
    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    haha welcome
    "more you is like extra bacon with my food" - my bay <3

    beautiful
    yeah you are

    would youuuu like a discount?
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  5. 08-31-2011, 01:57 PM #5
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    iniQuity
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    Welcome, new favorite poster. May your road to fabulous be fabulous.
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  6. 08-31-2011, 02:03 PM #6
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    TigerLily
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    Awesome.
    "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates
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  7. 08-31-2011, 02:07 PM #7
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    geostump
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    Totally wickedly badassedry hilarity!!! Definitely fabulous!
    Georgette

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  8. 08-31-2011, 02:10 PM #8
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    Brilliant opener!
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  9. 08-31-2011, 02:39 PM #9
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    Fab is as Fab does, Panda darling! Here's some more jaw-dropping info for you:

    The Big Fat Fiasco
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  10. 08-31-2011, 03:08 PM #10
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    Griffin
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    Welcome aboard. I hope all of your posts aren't this mundane!
    There are two wolves fighting within a man's heart, one is Love, the other is Hate. The one that wins is the one you feed.

    My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. - Jack Layton

    The Primal Adventures of Griffin - Huzzah!
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