Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 83

[Gay Panda]

As I sit here in my black yoga pants, stripey turtleneck jumper and Completely Mismatching Poncho twisting pipecleaners into antlers for my badly sculpted elephantitis infected reindeer (Which really needs it's ears glued back on :/), All I can see is a sexy panda wearing red red lipstick pants and blue fuzzy socks, sitting gracefully upon a half shell politely declining ice cream from the cherubs that surround the scene.

Do you know what the primal community needs? A calendar! Obviously, you've got December. I want January just so everyone starts off the year with a loud, "GAH!" And what month shall ottercat claim with that sexy, sexy Slanket?

Claim your month everybody!!! And don't forget to mention what you'll be wearing!

[hockeyfan7]

When I was a child we had to eat a teaspoonful of whatever Mom cooked for dinner. My brother and I still can't stand the smell of cooked cabbage. I would swallow my peas whole with my milk and I was done. He would sit at the table in front of his plate for hours refusing to eat them. I never did figure out why he wouldn't just swallow the darn things whole and get on with it.

[Gay Panda]

When I was a child we had to eat a teaspoonful of whatever Mom cooked for dinner. My brother and I still can't stand the smell of cooked cabbage. I would swallow my peas whole with my milk and I was done. He would sit at the table in front of his plate for hours refusing to eat them. I never did figure out why he wouldn't just swallow the darn things whole and get on with it.

Ugh, cooked cabbage! Revolting.

[Gay Panda]

Primal Calendar 2012: Twelve Months of Sexy

January: Gay Panda in Lipstick Jammie Pants, sky blue bedsocks, Aztec sweatshirt. Posed on a half-shell.
February: Ottercat in a Slanket! You don't get to pick a month, ottercat. Since you will smell like Kat von D, I want you next to me.
March:
April:
May:
June:
July:
August:
September:
October:
November:
December: PixieKitten in yoga pants, turtleneck, and poncho with pipe cleaner reindeer antlers!

Only 9 months left! Come on, people, bring your sexy to a month of 2012!

[ottercat]

LOL, ok, February is me clad ONLY in a ginormous Slanket and a dab or two of Adora (which I bought for myself for, um, Halloween)

btw, my Slankie is "Hunter Green" and here is the description from the website:

""What happened to Francois?", I asked. "Francois, he, eh, crash into zee conifer.", said the French-Canadian. Straight out of the northern woods of Maine; rally cars and black flies."

I think Marketing has been huffing xerox toner

[Paleobird]

Dearest Gay Panda,

My condolences on the loss of Grandmother Friend.

Some thoughts on family, both the intentional kind and the kind we are stuck with though the vagaries of genetics. When I was facing mastectomy surgery and my father suggested to my only sibling, Witchy Sister, that she come help her sister in the post-operative recovery period, her response was and I quote, "Let me check my day planner.....". When told about the upcoming surgery, my friend, Vet Lady, said without even being asked for help, "Just tell me what day and I'll be there". Both Witchy Sister and Vet Lady live an equally long way from me but one offered unconditional help and the other had to check her day planner to see if she could work me in. I feel that Vet Lady is much more my sister than Witchy Sister ever will be.

My mother passed away about a quarter of a century ago. Shortly after that I met my now fully Primal BFF who I call Grok's Grannie. She is the same age as my first Mom and sort of took up the job of mothering me where the first one left off. I know I will mourn her passing every bit as much as my original Mom's. I feel very fortunate to have had two such wonderful mothers, one biological and one by choice.

You asked about our most annoying relatives. Well, I'll trade you Witchy Sister's husband, Blow Hard Bubba, for Grandpa Simpson any day. He is 6'4" and well over 300lbs and looks like he is expecting triplets any day now but sees no problem in this. He pats his belly affectionately and remarks, "This is the sign of good livin'. Honey, bring me another beer!" I think one of the reasons Witchy Sister keeps him around is because at 6' even and 250lbs, she looks positively petite next to him.


If you need something hot for the August page, you can have the monokini shots I put on the before/after thread.

We are all so proud of you and your continuing progress here.

[Gay Panda]

When I was facing mastectomy surgery and my father suggested to my only sibling, Witchy Sister, that she come help her sister in the post-operative recovery period, her response was and I quote, "Let me check my day planner.....". When told about the upcoming surgery, my friend, Vet Lady, said without even being asked for help, "Just tell me what day and I'll be there".

You asked about our most annoying relatives. Well, I'll trade you Witchy Sister's husband, Blow Hard Bubba, for Grandpa Simpson any day. He is 6'4" and well over 300lbs and looks like he is expecting triplets any day now but sees no problem in this. He pats his belly affectionately and remarks, "This is the sign of good livin'. Honey, bring me another beer!"

Witchy Sister: FAIL. Vet Lady: HOORAY! Blow Hard Bubba: YIKES. I always said that one of my male relatives looks like he's about to deliver quintuplets. His gut is that massive. But at least he isn't patting it with love and care; instead he just walks around farting and blaming the weather forecast for not alerting us of thunder. It wasn't funny the first time, or the tenth, or the ten thousandth. It's just gross. Everyone's had a rogue squeaker slip, but we're not put-putting about like the Little Engine That Could, or demanding that people admire it.

I will add you to the calendar!!!!!

[Gay Panda]

Primal Calendar 2012: Twelve Months of Sexy

January: Gay Panda in Lipstick Jammie Pants, sky blue bedsocks, and Aztec sweatshirt. Posed on a half-shell.
February: Ottercat in a Slanket! You don't get to pick a month, ottercat. Since you will smell like Kat von D, I want you next to me.
March:
April:
May:
June:
July:
August: Paleobird offers her hotness for our enjoyment, complete with monokini!
September:
October:
November:
December: PixieKitten in yoga pants, turtleneck, and poncho with pipe cleaner reindeer antlers!

Only 8 months to go! Who else out there is ready to add a dash of FINE to 2012?

[beachrat]

I will take July - in my Vibram FiveFingers (whatever the most garish of my ridiculous collection at the time) and dirty work clothes.

[Gay Panda]

btw, my Slankie is "Hunter Green" and here is the description from the website:

""What happened to Francois?", I asked. "Francois, he, eh, crash into zee conifer.", said the French-Canadian. Straight out of the northern woods of Maine; rally cars and black flies."

Are they huffing that xerox toner or drinking it daily by the gallon? WTF?!??!