Lady Friend did not get to keep the bull! She wouldn't let me keep it either.
She said it was a very odd moment to be driving around the property and suddenly realize she was looking at a cow. He looked equally perplexed to see Lady Friend.
It's a shame you couldn't keep it, but they are probably a bitch to house train
"Now I'm just another anonymous shut-in with an online shopping addiction." - Georgina Sparks.
"I puked like a hero for the rest of the night." - Anthony Bourdain, 2002.
"Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think." - Ambrose Bierce
Today Gay Panda went to the HMO endocrinologist's office.
I was escorted to a room by a nurse so vacant that I wondered how she was able to find her car at the end of her shift. Most of the nurses I have come across are quite sharp human beings. This one was an outlier on that bell curve. The bell wasn’t even in sight from her vantage point. We shall call her Bubbles Bubbles Everywhere, because I was positive that were she to donate her brain at the end of her life for the purposes of medical research, mad scientists cackling over their saws and scalpels would crack open her skull to find the joke was on them.
Bubbles Bubbles Everywhere at last floated out the door, to be replaced by the endocrinologist. It was a twenty-minute appointment that consisted of several reiterations of the following conversation:
ENDO: Tell me about your life.
GAY PANDA: Generally, I’m pretty happy. I love my work. I wake up happy to get out of bed and do it. The problem is I’m too tired to do it.
ENDO: You’re depressed.
GAY PANDA: No, I’m not.
ENDO: Fatigue is a sign of depression.
GAY PANDA: Yes, but I’m not depressed.
ENDO: Your TSH is normal, so I think we need to look at depression as a cause.
GAY PANDA: But I am not depressed! I know what that feels like and this is different. I don’t have any energy. I sleep well but wake up ridiculously tired.
ENDO: Depression isn’t always about feeling sad all the time. Sometimes it can be expressed in non-traditional means like fatigue and poor concentration. I don’t think this is your thyroid. You have to open your mind to consider depression.
GAY PANDA: I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I AM HAPPY, DAMMIT.
ENDO: You’re depressed.
I wanted to tell the doctor that I wasn’t depressed until we had this exchange, but I bit back the impulse. And this is why I pay for outside consultation.
Last edited by Gay Panda; 07-26-2013 at 10:24 PM.
obviously you're depressed
yeah you are
if you think about it, any box could have vibrators in it
Why is it that doctors are so unwilling to consider issues *other* than depression? Don't get me wrong - I'm really pleased that the medical world values our mental health, but it isn't always the root cause of everything. I take it that he didn't get as far as suggesting medication such as, oh, Prozac? Otherwise there would be a plea on here from Ladyfriend for a whip round to finance your bail bond...
I've never had to argue so hard that I wasn't depressed. I felt like we were just going around in circles. It reminded me of Mother Panda long ago, arguing and arguing and arguing with doctors that something was very wrong medically with one of the cubs and getting brushed off as a hysterical mother. They would not take her seriously. Well, there WAS something wrong. It was cancer.
If Prozac had been suggested as a solution to my ills, I fear what I would have said. Perhaps I should save for the bail bond now as the next appointment is in six months.