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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 626

  1. #6251
    Bugs's Avatar
    Bugs is offline Member
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    *giggle*

    I need to hear the cucumber story...

  2. #6252
    JoanieL's Avatar
    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
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    +1 for cucumber inappropriateness.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

  3. #6253
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    *Flutters eyelashes innocently*

    I, for one, being the sweet and demure thing I am, cannot possibly conceive of any inappropriateness which could be associated with cucumbers.

    I therefore must insist that you share your story with us, Panda, for the benefit of my education.
    I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

    Oscar Wilde

  4. #6254
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  5. #6255
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    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    I got nailed with a headache last night (which put a cramp in the short yet highly inappropriate cucumber story) but will write that down today! And you will be sorry.

  6. #6256
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    It has been ten years now, and I have never looked at a cucumber in the same way. Gay Panda has to go grocery shopping today and will yet again look askance at the bin in the produce section.

    Loose Screw was fresh off her second or third divorce, and she had decided it was time to go wild. The husband was out; the kids were grown and gone. Everyone had been having fun in life except her for the last 60 years, and now she could make up for it. Threesomes. Toys. Foursomes. Leatherwear. Bisexuality. Phone sex. Swing clubs. She juggled up to three relationships at a time and transformed her bedroom into a jungle of revolving partners made up of long-term friends and newly-acquainted. It was 50 Shades of Gray for the retirement set.

    Over the Internet she made a new friend to welcome to the jungle. A wealthy and attractive man from Europe, he was the heir to a shipping empire. Flirty conversations ensued over the keyboards, and she invited him over to her house for introductions in the flesh and sexy times. Then she waited for the knock.

    When it came, she opened the door. He stood there with a bright smile and a giant cucumber in his hand. You might be wondering why he had brought a cucumber as a sexual aid when he was fully functional in his nether regions, and let me explain.

    It was not for her.

    Afterwards, they made a salad with it.

    You’re welcome. And now I have to go shopping.

  7. #6257
    sidewinder's Avatar
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    Thank you, GP. I needed that. Wrong as it may have been...

  8. #6258
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    ksettle70 is offline Junior Member
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    Lightbulb old news_FABULOUS Experiment

    Quote Originally Posted by Gay Panda View Post
    UPDATE: (in explanation of *, **, and ***)

    * Oh, I misunderstood the term? I know. This is tongue-in-cheek. ☺

    ** Obviously, this does not apply to our friend Roger.

    *** For those of you with a minute to spare, would you take part in a completely scientific study on Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS? I am curious to know at what rate you are losing weight. Are you part of the Revered One Pound A Day Club? Or are you standing forlornly outside the door like Gay Panda, averaging one a week? Maybe you’re losing even more slowly than that, or not at all like Lady Friend (which is why she’s doing Atkins Induction now). How alike or how different are we?
    I started at the beginning of this thread and refuse to skip to the end. Maybe you have your answer, perhaps not.

    I have always had the same issues with losing weight. Until now. my gut was unbalanced since I was seven. Insane docs prescribed a child pennicillan for a year straight. Also lived spitting distance from TMI. My school pics that year show the damage in my first fat pic in a long line of fat pics. Many diets, antidepressants, diet pills, ED's later, I found primal, but not weight loss. Enter Primal Flora and cheap fermented foods after much research. Now I am losing a pound a day eating full fat delicious food.

    Yes. I am allergic to exercise now due to burn out in the past.

    Hope this helps if you don't already know.

  9. #6259
    JoanieL's Avatar
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    It was not for her.
    Didn't see that one coming.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

  10. #6260
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    Oh Myyyyyy.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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