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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 609

  1. #6081
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    I'm naming my thyroid gland Tan Mom since it functions about as well as she sings.

  2. #6082
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gay Panda View Post
    I'm naming my thyroid gland Tan Mom since it functions about as well as she sings.
    Ohhhh Panda... you make me smile.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  3. #6083
    Gay Panda's Avatar
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    Tomorrow Lady Friend is taking her personal Tan Mom to the doctor for a sonogram.

  4. #6084
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clark3loyd View Post
    Fab is as Fab does, Panda darling! Here's some more jaw-dropping info for you:
    Oh, Clark3loyd,

    How did you know I was thinking of you just now?! Today I embarked upon a Gothic Horror Novella for a contest, writing three thousand deliciously dreary words of the maximum 30K, and I realized that I had unwittingly based my male romantic interest upon you. I gave him a far more dashing name of course . . . oh, but please don't turn your back on Panda! Clark3loyd is a very masculine name indeed that makes womanly hearts everywhere flutter. Yes, flutter. Those of feminine persuasion reading this post are currently in a swoon, lace kerchief pressed to breast and heart beating like the wings of a hummingbird beneath. Later there will be a cage match to win you, after I revive them all with smelling salts. I am sorry that I cannot attend the match*, but I woke up at four in the morning with a brain crying LET'S THINK!!! The problem is that Clark3loyd is just not a Gothic name. Gothic names are Edward and Vladamir and Rococco and Bill. Bill is very Gothic. So is Buzz. I named my male lead Vale, because this seems very mysterious and reminiscent of the veil of death through which we will all one day pass, and I was tired of looking at baby name sites for anything else. I couldn't use Edward, since the name is inextricably entwined now in my head with vampires who glitter like Victoria's Secret Diamond Bras.

    What's that you say? This post is very heterosexist? I have a male reader or two swooning at the fantasy of Clarklo3yd or 3ClakLoyz or whatever the hell your troll name is? I have a female reader who might prefer a Clark3Lydia? Well, but this is Gothic Horror, darling. I don't think they let gay people into that genre. So I win this argument. I win it because I have been up since four in the morning and I'm getting very punchy. So I am going to text Lady Friend one more IT'S TAN MOM, BITCH! to piss her off and brush my teeth with my bamboo toothbrush, and retire to my four poster bed with the burgundy curtains, and listen to the strange piano music that echoes through my house in the dark dread of night.

    Love,
    Gay Panda

    * Five bucks on BloodOrchid.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 06-19-2013 at 10:12 PM.

  5. #6085
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    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    smart bet, i'll fight dirty

    there's a hummingbird under my bosom already <3
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

  6. #6086
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    Dear Gaylord Pandapants,

    No, it is not.

    Sincerely,
    Lady Friend

  7. #6087
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss grok View Post

    (wave to lady friend!)
    wave!!!

  8. #6088
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post

    there's a hummingbird under my bosom already <3
    This cannot top the slow and steady thrum of the raptor in mine, ready to swoop down, and rip your hummingbird head off. The prize of Clark3loyd (also know as Lloyd Randolph Clark the Third in some circles) cannot be resisted. He paid me a visit in the wee hours of the night, and this proof of his love makes me strong.

  9. #6089
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    Fight! Fight!! Fight!!!

  10. #6090
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Oh, children. It gets good at 0:32. Ninja kitten!!!

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/travisrandg/...ed-dragon-5d61

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