Since you mentioned Poo Hurler, I report that today she blocked my driveway with a giant van and then took off to regions unknown in her car. Could it be a moving van? Alas, no. She will never move, and turds will continue to float past my house when it rains. I don't know the purpose of the van, but I just adore that she is so oblivious to anything but her insanity that she made it impossible for me to leave my house.
I'm from North Carolina and down here in the South a pork butt is from the shoulder. And it's a very popular thing. See, I told you -- Donner = reindeer = pork butt.
You can always have Poo Hurler's van towed away for blocking your driveway.
Panda dearest, I have 24lbs to lose - but I'll settle for 20.6 lbs. Wanna race? (This challenge comes from a bottle of wine a night girl). You should beat me easily! But if you take up the challenge I may be compelled to ditch the wine. And you will be doing us both a favour...?
I turned invisible about five years ago. It might have been because I was getting notably porky; it might have been because my hair turned grey. Whatever, I turned invisible because I was no longer sexually attractive. And I love it - love being invisible. Now I can talk to anyone and they don't think I am trying to pick them up. They don't feel the need to pick me up. I am now just an average middle-aged housewife. And one can get away with all sorts of things when one is invisible.
I am not shy like you Panda. In fact, I am being paid at the moment to go to pubs and talk to the punters. It's called Market Research - or summit like that. I love talking to complete strangers in the pub and getting paid for it! (Last week I met a stone carver who works for the National Trust. He carves all those lovely gargoyles amongst other things - he said he would teach me to stone carve! I love my job).
Please remember the art of invisibility - just in case you ever need it. You and I have one over on Harry Potter.
So - are you up for the race?
The same people who hurl poo, apparently.
Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.
My Primal Journal
2. I became invisible just at the age at which I was first really trying to be attractive. People rarely pick up on giant pandas; nor are they particularly thrilled when a giant panda tries to pick up on them. I started college average-sized: the worst zits of my adolescence were finally on the way out, I had lovely muscles from swimming butterfly for years, I was learning what flattered me and what didn't in hair and clothes, and then suddenly I was hugely fat. It was like three steps forward and forty steps back.
3. Aw, we can't compete! That would drive us nuts! No matter how well I eat, what my body chooses to do with its excess weight is not under my control and that already makes me crazy. I can eat perfectly primal for weeks and lose nothing at all. Competing would make me so frustrated when my body just won't comply. And one of the Panda Flaws, which is embarrassing to admit to you, is that I am competitive even on silly things. But if you would like to post your New Low Scores here as you achieve them, to help motivate you and for Happy Panda Dances performed on your behalf, you are more than welcome!
4. I am truly happy to be unable to drink wine. Temptation solved!
I looked up a pig diagram and you and the Butt are safe. Butt is Shoulder. Ham is Ass.
Otter's Primal Log
"Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick