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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 6

  1. #51
    superdeluxe's Avatar
    superdeluxe is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    BTW, please come to PrimalCon next year. In purple clogs.
    Il faut vivre et non pas seulement exister.

  2. #52
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    superdeluxe, eating an Avada Kedavra egg is when Logic and OCD go to war!

    Logic: The egg did NOT come out of Avada Kedavra's butt. It exited her vent.
    OCD: Vent is just a fancy scientific term for butt! BUTT! It came out of her butt! The shell is covered in germs and now I am, too!
    Logic: You do not eat the shell. You can wash the shell. The egg is fine, and you're being neurotic.
    OCD: BUTT! BUTT! BUTT! GERMS!
    Logic: Make Lady Friend an Avada Kedavra omelet and yourself a store omelet, which also came out of a chicken's VENT.
    OCD: I win!
    Logic: Only this round, OCD. I'll be back tomorrow.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 09-05-2011 at 07:57 AM.

  3. #53
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    And Gay Panda is FAR too shy for PrimalCon, but thanks!

  4. #54
    MaLink's Avatar
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    Vent sounds more disturbing than butt, imho. D:
    Doing the Primal 30 Day Challenge since August 8th, 2011!




  5. #55
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    And even more disturbing than vent is the other term cloaca, which is the Latin word for sewer.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gay Panda View Post
    And even more disturbing than vent is the other term cloaca, which is the Latin word for sewer.
    Gay Panda, I am jealous of your chickens. If I could figure out how to get around my coop rules and raise chickens on my 9th floor balcony, I would.

    Even though, unlike Gay Panda, I grew up in the country and don't really have a problem with where eggs come from (although I hated climbing into the hen house to get the eggs) and thought headless chickens running around the yard was pretty fascinating (hey, I was 5!! 5 year olds are ruthless) - I really didn't need the Latin translation. (although it makes sense ... for all butts actually)

    I love, love, love their names. Perfect for chickens.
    My primal journal that I don't update enough:
    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread33293.html

  7. #57
    Gay Panda's Avatar
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    girlarchitect, your comment made me Google balcony chickens, which led to indoor chickens, which led to a website selling chicken diapers. I had no idea such a thing existed. So now you just have to get around the rules, and Gay Panda can use chicken diapers as a conversation stopper. Thanks!

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gay Panda View Post
    girlarchitect, your comment made me Google balcony chickens, which led to indoor chickens, which led to a website selling chicken diapers. I had no idea such a thing existed. So now you just have to get around the rules, and Gay Panda can use chicken diapers as a conversation stopper. Thanks!
    chicken diapers! I love it. definitely using that at the next cocktail party I go to.
    My primal journal that I don't update enough:
    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread33293.html

  9. #59
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    Ah, conversation stoppers. The fourth line of defense for the shy, wily introvert after A: being a hermit and avoiding a party, B: being a wallflower when you can't avoid a party, C: pretending not to speak English to the most likely perfectly nice person who has come to say hello. Chicken diapers. I'll drop that gem and make my escape!!!

  10. #60
    Gay Panda's Avatar
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Because the Gauntlet of Crazy Neighbors surrounds Gay Panda, taking a walk for some primal exercise is out of the question. Poo Hurler spends a lot of time outside engaged in her favorite form of exercise, and Eye of the Storm’s dog Sauron frequently mistakes Gay Panda for a hobbit ring-bearer and flies over with Nazgul screams and serrated teeth.

    My neighbor Spittle-and-Froth took second place to Poo Hurler in the Straightjacket Olympics, but it was a close second. She is in her sixties and her favorite forms of exercise are A: going to Taco Bell, B: yelling at her husband, C: counting the leaves that fall in her pool, and D: shouting at Gay Panda about how many of those leaves issued from Gay Panda’s tree.

    The tree is well tended, and I had the branch overhanging Spittle-and-Froth’s pool removed. In truth, she is surrounded by trees on all sides, and only one of those sides belongs to me. But even Spittle-and-Froth hesitates to take on Poo Hurler, and so I am marked as an easy target. This is why I do not take walks about my neighborhood, and instead choose the not-remotely-primal treadmill at home.

    From the safety of the belt, I enjoy a view of the very tall fence that I had put up between my house and Poo Hurler’s. I no longer have to see into her backyard, which is filled with odd objects like a stop sign, an octagonal end table, a stack of Ouija boards, and the Giant Grooved Metal Thing whose function remains a mystery. When I have the energy and motivation, which does not happen as often as it should, I take my walk and watch the squirrels run along the fence.

    Poo Hurler is obsessed with birds, and among the plastic bags of cat droppings in her tree are feeders. She leaves the bucket of seeds open in her yard, which attracts squirrels, and the squirrels attract the cats that Poo Hurler hates. The squirrels bitch fight and last time it was a battle of such colossal proportion that I turned up my iPod dock to full volume and put on the theme song to Mortal Kombat.

    There is always the chance that Poo Hurler is on MDA also writing a journal, complaining about her crazy neighbor Gay Panda for jumping at a window shouting FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! at a pair of squirrels tangling in the branches of the oak while Mortal Kombat bellows in the background. She could argue that hurling poo is more primal than walking on a treadmill, just as Spittle-and-Froth could argue that swimming in her pool is more primal than walking on a treadmill, and Eye of the Storm could argue that fleeing her psychotic beagle is also more primal than walking on a treadmill. In a competition of whose-exercise-is-more-primal, Gay Panda is destined to lose.

    And Gay Panda is all right with this.

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