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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 569

  1. #5681
    bloodorchid's Avatar
    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    holds her.. ears? that.. could hurt
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  2. #5682
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    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    Yeah, I had to read that one twice. Her ears??? Maybe it's a fetish.

  3. #5683
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    Sabine is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    holds her.. ears?

    Makes it easier to steer!

  4. #5684
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    bloodorchid is online now Senior Member
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    lol
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  5. #5685
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    And then I Googled ear fetish.

    Dear . . . Valhalla. One man gets an umbrella handle just from typing the word EARS. A woman complains that her boyfriend keeps jamming his tongue in her ear while they sin, like he's supplying a wax wash.

    * retreating back to book and Evanescence for the day *

  6. #5686
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    poor panda

    i love that you called his excitement an umbrella handle tho
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  7. #5687
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    To commemorate this learning experience, I plan to incorporate ears and umbrella handles into this chapter I'm writing. Only we will understand the significance.

    I think I lost another of my 50 Shades this morning, at least vicariously.

  8. #5688
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    He tried to pee but couldn't...

    I think that it is safe to say that somewhere in that story he contracted an STD.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  9. #5689
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    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    I have a term for really bad erotica, written so poorly that you can't tell which end is up on either partner: Picasso Sex. There was a lovely example of this months ago in a book called Vagina Insanity, a sample of which one can view on Amazon. Of course, I would never encourage you to do such a thing, especially those of you on work computers.

    But Gay Panda is not on a work computer.

    Here are some real gems from this book:
    1) "her bosom bumping out of her brassiere"
    2) the smoothly enigmatic shape of the contents of her bra "spurred my phenomena"
    3) our hero is such a contortionist that he manages to kiss her G spot. From behind. While she is wearing jeans.

    Anyway, it's a delightful read for those who need an example of Picasso Sex. (I suspect it was written in another language and shot through a translator.)

  10. #5690
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    I tried to read it out loud to Lady Friend, but she yelled and ran away.

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