Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 492

[Lady Friend]

can i come help work there?

bouncy lambs and non-romantics getting beat up sound great

i don't mind being peed on

Yes, indeedy, c'mon out. I must tell you, though, that one of the job requirements is the instincts of a border collie.

[Lady Friend]

Domestic sheep are one of those animals that really truly wouldn't exist without human help (and subsequent human consumption).

Friends who own a farm up-island have sheep. One year, the ram failed spectacularly and NO lambs happened the next spring (in retrospect, the farmer now thinks it was because it was too cold to shear before mating season and there was too much fluff in the way). But at the time, the ram was viewed as a failure and a replacement was brought in. Unfortunately the failure ram was left there. When the new ram came in, he was all business too - but the first order of business was removing the competition. While wild sheep have experience and the neck and cranium to deal with it, domestic sheep, left with the instinct to back up then run as fast as possible at each other with their heads down, do not engage in ramming speed with much overall success. After one smash-up, the failure ram keeled over and then died a few days later of internal injuries.

I haven't yet heard if the replacement ram was able to capitalize on his masculine prowess and do his job or not. Regardless, sheep seem to have a lot of difficulty sorting themselves out and, unlike pigs, would doubtless go quickly extinct without human assistance. Which is why yes lambs are cute, but I have absolutely no problem eating them.

Wow, what an unlucky little ram! Rams can get pretty rough with each other, so one does need to be careful. I had a pair that head butted so often they ended up with bald spots. They looked like they'd been tonsured. I separated them just to let the wool grow back.

My ewes however, enjoy a hearty head butting now and again and seem to weather it fine. I just figured they were flirting with Business Man the other day - until he was surrounded on all four sides and we're like "ooohhh, not in the nuts!" and "oh, wow, he's going down!" Scrappy lil' fellar got back up and gave it right back, though.

[Gay Panda]

November 4th: Inspirational Moments

I am whole, complete, and perfect just the way I am.

GAY PANDA: Said Darth Vader. Said Octomom. Said Voldemort. Said . . .
RESOLVE: Well, you’re definitely complete at this size, Panda.
REMORSE: Yeah, don’t let yourself get any more complete.
DEBAUCHERY: I’M PERFECT JUST THE WAY I AM!!! LET’S CELEBRATE WITH THIS DOUGHNUT AROUND MY WAIST YOU WON’T LET ME EAT MY WAY OUT OF!!!
GAY PANDA: I hate you for ending a sentence with of.
RESOLVE: No eating your way out of the doughnut, Debauchery! You’re going to have to wait for it to slip off.

REMORSE: So, how are you feeling this morning, Panda? After the Charlie Sheen Burrito Debacle of Yesterday?
GAY PANDA: Hey, you know that I follow the fairy with the Oscar, and I did not anticipate Debauchery having a faux statue. My morning appointment ran way over and I was famished and had more errands before I got home. I did NOT get a soda, I did NOT pig out on corn chips and salsa. I had a burrito. These were exceptional circumstances. I regret nothing except the headache that resulted from it later-
DEBAUCHERY: WHEN DO I GET MY FAKE OSCAR BACK??? I PAID ONE MOONING, TWO NICKELS, AND THREE MAGIC BEANS FOR THAT THING!!!

[DinoHunter]

I wish I could pay for stuff with a mooning......

[Gay Panda]

I wish I could pay for stuff with a mooning......

Me too.

There should probably be a Moon Phase - Cost ratio.

$1-49: quarter moon
$50-99: half moon
$100-199: full moon
$200-299: full moon with hip waggle
$300+: full moon with hip waggle and saucy cheek slap

I think I need to get to Whole Foods.

[bloodorchid]

Yes, indeedy, c'mon out. I must tell you, though, that one of the job requirements is the instincts of a border collie.

i'm excellent at bordering like a collie!

Me too.

There should probably be a Moon Phase - Cost ratio.

$1-49: quarter moon
$50-99: half moon
$100-199: full moon
$200-299: full moon with hip waggle
$300+: full moon with hip waggle and saucy cheek slap

I think I need to get to Whole Foods.

do you think if i moon waggle butt slapped first thing i'd get a cart full of meat for free?

[Gay Panda]

Me too.

There should probably be a Moon Phase - Cost ratio.

$1-49: quarter moon
$50-99: half moon
$100-199: full moon
$200-299: full moon with hip waggle
$300+: full moon with hip waggle and saucy cheek slap

I think I need to get to Whole Foods.

Perhaps this should be amended for purchases over $500.

$500+: full moon with licked finger and a sizzle sound on the cheek of your choice

[DinoHunter]

Well according to hubby.. having a "rack" is why I get such good deals from the local farmer..
£5 for a large lobster....
in that case it probably woulda been free if id shown some "cheek"

[Gay Panda]

do you think if i moon waggle butt slapped first thing i'd get a cart full of meat for free?

Of course you would!!!

[ottercat]

This is just to say I LOVED 'Sigils'. I was rationing it out one chapter per night and then there was one wee bout of insomnia and SNA-A-A-A-R-FF done just like that.

The only problem is that "Cadie" was the character in "Mean Girls" so I now have "Mean Girls of Panem" type scenarios running through my head

honk*honk* "Get in, loser, we're going procuring!"
"A liver for Kalanthe, blood for Vastax, andnothingforDelhyth--bye!"