Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 485

[RaeVynn]

It ISN'T an "extra" hour of sleep. It is getting BACK the hour STOLEN from us by DST.

DST was trying to cram an extra hour of daylight into the business day. Actual standard time is going back to "normal".

[spughy]

There is a large "human" sundial near the beach by my house (you stand where the line tells you to depending on the date and your shadow points to the correct time). Except that the damn thing is WRONG for the entire summer which is the only time that there is reliably sunshine for it to work, and tourists interested enough to stand on it. EVERY SINGLE TIME I walk by there I feel obligated to let the confused tourists standing on the thing, who are invariably going "Huh? But that isn't what time it is. Ed are you sure you're standing right? Move back a bit. No over there. Maybe put your arms out? I don't get this. Good thing we've got digital watches, ha ha ha" know what the deal is. Daylight savings, people. I'm sure you've heard of it. Sigh.

[Gay Panda]

GAY PANDA: Fight! Fight!! Fight!!!
REMORSE: For Valhalla’s sake, don’t encourage them!
RESOLVE: That tub of cracked mashed potatoes is so old that it has dinosaur fossils in it! No, Debauchery! We’re not getting any of that!
DEBAUCHERY: WELL, YOU’D KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT TIME PERIOD!!! DIDN’T IT USED TO JUST BE YOU AND THE DINOSAURS AND THE CAVE PEOPLE ROAMING ANCIENT EARTH TOGETHER???
GAY PANDA: Plus one for age slur.
REMORSE: Minus one for historical accuracy.
RESOLVE: I have the Oscar tonight, not you! No potatoes! Hey! Give that Oscar back!

DEBAUCHERY: I’M IN CHARGE!!! I’M IN CHARGE!!! I’M IN CHARGE!!! WE’RE GETTING THIS WHOOPIE PIE WITH THE FROSTING COBWEB ON TOP AND THESE APPLE TURNOVERS AND---
RESOLVE: We are not! Hah, caught the turnovers!
DEBAUCHERY: YOU MISSED THE WHOOPIE PIE WITH THE FROSTING COBWEB!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! NOW, BACK TO THE POTATOES!!! HEY, NO HAIR PULLING---
GAY PANDA: Wow, this is getting physical.
REMORSE: Look at the potatoes while they scuffle, Panda. Just look at the crust.
GAY PANDA: That is kind of gross.
REMORSE: See how much easier this is when you’ve eaten before you shop? You didn’t have enough, but there is an inversely proportional relationship between how much you crave these things and how little you’ve eaten for the day. So that is why the whoopie pie with the frosting cobweb landed in the cart, and also why you are walking past the potatoes without stopping.
GAY PANDA: Last time they were crunchy. I ate them and hated myself for doing it. Did Resolve just shove that Oscar where I think she shoved it?

DEBAUCHERY: OWWWWWW!!! THE ONE DAY I WASN’T WEARING UNDERWEAR!!!
RESOLVE: You never wear underwear! Crusty potatoes that have been sitting out for a million years aren’t primal, dammit!
DEBAUCHERY: WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT PRIMAL??? YOU TOLD GAY PANDA THAT YOU ACHIEVED YOUR SVELTE FIGURE THROUGH HEALTHY EATING AND EXERCISE, BUT WE ALL KNOW IT’S LIPO!!! AT LEAST I’M HONEST WITH PANDA THAT FLAB IS FAB AND I’M CERTAINLY NOT LACKING IN THE LOVE DEPARTMENT LIKE YOU ARE, YOU BONY BITC---
GAY PANDA: Ladies! I do try to maintain a PG rating for this journal, you know.
DEBAUCHERY: BUT THE END RESULT HERE IS THAT I HAVE THE OSCAR ON MY PERSON---
REMORSE: In your person, technically.
DEBAUCHERY: ---SO I’M IN CHARGE!!!
GAY PANDA: Plus one for ‘end result’. Both disgusting and clever. No potatoes, Debauchery. Those really do look gross.
DEBAUCHERY: I HAVE THE OSCAR AND I’M IN CHARGE!!! POTATOES AND WE’LL GO BACK FOR THOSE TURNOVERS AND--- OOOOWWWWW!!!
REMORSE: And now Resolve has the Oscar again. Panda, let’s just quit while we’re ahead. We can come back to the store another time and let you fail some brand new way.
GAY PANDA: You're so snide, Remorse. Wow, that was a clobber! Debauchery got it back. I think this week is going to be a draw in the food department.
REMORSE: Now they’re both throwing things in the cart. A single licorice stick. A giant bag of lettuce. A chocolate bar. A container of beef stew meat. And- OWWWWWW! HEY!
GAY PANDA: Remorse has the Oscar! We're going home.

[Gay Panda]

Wow, it's just one of those news days that makes me want to turn off my computer. * passing out brain bleach to everyone *

[Gay Panda]

Duckies, if you need something to scream about this Halloween, duck over to STFU Parents and enjoy Fright Fest '12!!!!!

Be warned. Once you see the cake, you cannot un-see it.

[bloodorchid]

i know better, i saw facebook poo splatters enough to last me a lifetime over there

what happened that we need brain bleach?

[Gay Panda]

i know better, i saw facebook poo splatters enough to last me a lifetime over there

what happened that we need brain bleach?

Ugh, I opened up my news and there was the Mad Nanny Case (headline about how the six-year-old fought for her life), the sickening Republicans and Rape brouhaha (absolutely disgusting), and did you see how poor Lindsay Lohan is being maligned YET AGAIN with theft accusations on a movie set??? I KNOW!!!

[Gay Panda]

Ah, and I also started my morning with an article informing me that Rod Stewart shoved cocaine up his pooper.

DID NOT NEED TO KNOW.

[winencandy]

I just read your kitten post.
There are no words...

[Gay Panda]

I just read your kitten post.
There are no words...

Finally, years and years later, I have words for my parents on the kitten mill era. Actually, I just have a colorful italicized acronym followed by expressive punctuation - WTF?!?!?!

Lady Friend just fixated on how ugly that poor gray kitten was. Well, that's six hundred dollars of ugly, Lady Friend!!!