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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 479

  1. #4781
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    Primal Fuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Alex Good View Post
    Wait, are you actually Gay Panda's much talked about lady friend or are you just Gay Panda operating under a pseudonym?
    Yep, I'm really Lady Friend. I really do exist.

  2. #4782
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    PANDA STILL EXISTS!!!

    Gay Panda suffers from a terrible streak of perfectionism, and Gay Panda is releasing books in November. One of them is very, very dear to the heart (and also very, very long) so it is taking a tremendously long time to get through in its final edit for misspelled words and face/palm mistakes like 'should of' instead of 'should have'.

    The Fairy of Debauchery only got away with a piece of cake, which was shared. And a tiny scoop of mashed potatoes.

  3. #4783
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Friend View Post
    Yep, I'm really Lady Friend. I really do exist.
    So Lady Friend, are you and Gay Panda lovers?
    In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

  4. #4784
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex Good View Post
    So Lady Friend, are you and Gay Panda lovers?
    We most certainly are lovers of chocolate! Mmmm, chocolate . . .

  5. #4785
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Friend View Post
    We most certainly are lovers of chocolate! Mmmm, chocolate . . .
    Perfect answer.... love it!
    It makes me sad that people are trying hard to do the right thing but failing because they have the wrong information.
    Without question, bacon is the most interesting meat in the world, and if it were capable of original thought, we wouldn't even be having an election this November in America. We would simply appoint bacon as our forever leader and live dutifully under its rule.

  6. #4786
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    PART ONE: Mother Panda was an odd duck.

    Of course, this is the equivalent on the Obvious-o-Meter of saying that the sky is blue, or that the dearly departed Primal Coach Kitty had fuzzy black ears and the IQ of a Yukon Gold potato. She was not a bright creature and the sky is indeed blue, and Mother Panda was a very, very, very odd woman.

    Although the creation of the panda cubs was a joint process*, Mother Panda had a strange need to fracture us from our father. Anyone reading this who is familiar with the acronym PAS** will probably understand. In one of our many houses during my youth, which was oddly designed so that one half of the house could be locked from one side and not the other, Father Panda accidentally locked us in and went to work cleaning airplanes of the day’s barf bags and loose peanuts. It was night when we realized that we were trapped, and Mother Panda came into the cubs’ bedroom to confess how worried she was that we would have to survive the next nine hours without benefit of the living room, laundry room, and kitchen. Of course, why she felt the need to unload her troubles on cubs who were going to bed anyway (and the oldest of whom was six years old at the time) is a mystery.

    But it resulted in tears of fright that we were going to starve to death in the next nine hours, even though we had had dinner and were going to be sleeping anyway, and possessed a fully functioning sink if we were thirsty. We cried and cried and cried, wondering why Father Panda had done this to us, and Mother Panda sat on the edge of a bed without any solutions. Father Panda locked us in, children! There’s nothing we can do! The phone is in the other half of the house! What if there’s a fire and we’re trapped in here? We cried more, since we were going to burn to death.

    I asked something along the lines of how could he DO this and Mother Panda replied sadly I guess he wasn’t thinking of us. I put on my Thinking Cap and fought past the unicorns and elves and pirates and dragons that were always inside it for solutions. We could crawl out the window in this half of the house and crawl back in on the other side. We could go to the neighbors’ and use the phone to call him or the landlord. But, for one reason or another, Mother Panda said we could not do these things.

    I don’t remember how the night concluded, whether Mother Panda did eventually use windows as a solution, or if we just had to wait for Father Panda to come home. And I am sure I looked at him with betrayal the next morning. We could have starved! We could have burned to death in a fire! Did he not realize how serious this mistake had been? And I am sure the Perpetually Arguing Panda Parents fought about it for hours, instead of doing something sensible like taking the lock off the door, or removing the door altogether, or purchasing a stopper to wedge underneath it.

  7. #4787
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    UPDATE: (in explanation of * and **)

    * Ugh.

    ** Power Assisted Steering? Pediatric Academic Societies? Pan Am Systems? Portable Antiquities Scheme? No, I mean Parental Alienation Syndrome.

    PART II TOMORROW

  8. #4788
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedidoc View Post
    Oh, GP did you see "what would you do?" It was on germ phobias and would others help out.
    No, I did not see this!

    I won the war on the cart at Whole Foods the other day. I lost the one with the basket at CVS. It's so dumb.

  9. #4789
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    Quote Originally Posted by Primal Primate View Post
    Hi Panda,
    Just wanted to say thank you - your journal was one that inspired me to start my own. I have not read all 477 pages but have been entertained by what I did read.
    Hi, Primal Primate! Thanks for stopping by!

  10. #4790
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    So, Pandalings, I just realized that the VERY last chapter of The Dammerung, written by none other than a pseudonymous Gaylord Pandapants,will be posted next week over at thedammerung.com. I really, really love this book. So if you haven't had the chance - and/or need something else to read when Gay Panda disappears for awhile into the Magical Bamboo Forest - may I humbly suggest clicking on over and checking it out?

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