Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 47

[Dragonfly]

You're right, bread is not food. I told myself that at my restaurant dinner last night and didn't touch it.

WIN! for Gay Panda!

[Gay Panda]

WIN! for Gay Panda!

It was a desperate battle. What an evil seductress that loaf of bread was! It was so much easier to turn away from the rice that unexpectedly came with my meal. I want to have the same meh reaction to bread that I do to rice.

Does anyone out there struggle with rice instead of bread?

[Gay Panda]

Gay Panda feels defective.

I have not read Wheat Belly, but I did read the doctor/author’s blog entry stating that the typical response to suddenly eliminating wheat from one’s diet is a weight loss of one pound a day. He has seen it happen lots of times. But I am not one of them.

Gay Panda can’t stand special snowflakes. This is because I belong to the unforgiving ranks of the relentlessly non-special, and it grates on me. Gay Panda tries to be honest about the panda flaws, and jealousy is one of them. I want to stand on the tallest platform accepting an Olympic gold. I want to rock out on a stage with thousands cheering and confetti cannons blasting. I want to be an entry in the encyclopedia under Panda, Gay. Why can’t I be like beleaguered Paris Hilton, constantly pulled over by sexy traffic cops who want to slip their phone numbers through the windshield? Is it so much to ask for this to happen just once? Life isn’t fair. (Note to sexy cops: Gay Panda drives a Prius.)

I’m just not special. Well, I am to Primal Coach Kitty, because I have opposable thumbs for the sole purpose of making her bacon. I’m special to Lady Friend, since no one else would make her push the cart in fear of imaginary swine flu and tell her than Oregon and organic mean more or less the same thing. But that’s about it. I matter in very small circles. I am not wildly gifted in any arena; I am not the exception to any rule. I’m just Gay Panda, who has to wait in line like everybody else.

I’ve spent years coming to terms with not being a special snowflake*. And with one blog entry, I’ve had that all stripped away. According to the post, I live in a world where the majority of people lose weight one pound a day, and I average about one pound a week, and for the last two weeks, no progress at all. But we all did the same thing: abruptly eliminate wheat from our diet. So why am I not rewarded? Why can’t I be one of the happy masses who steps on the scale every morning and sees a consistent, one-pound decline from day to day? Why do I have to be special?

I feel like I’m knocking on the door of some cool club and no one will let me in because I don’t know the password. The information that I should be losing this way makes me feel defeated. This is ridiculous, because I haven’t been. I’m just losing slowly. I can’t blame it on a thyroid condition or menopause. I’m not sneaking naughty non-foods. There is no reason that I shouldn’t be losing one pound a day. So either the fault lies with me in a way that I can’t put my finger upon, or the fault lies with the assertion that one pound a day is a normal rate of loss.

But Gay Panda is not a doctor. I don’t wear a snappy white lab coat and hold up test tubes to the light at a prestigious research facility by day, and wear a cape flying about the world solving medical mysteries at night with Primal Coach Kitty as my sidekick. My highest degree is a bachelor’s in ancient languages, not science. So what do I know? Just my body, which is defective when propped up next to all the others who lose a pound with the regularity that they change their underwear**.

I don’t want to be this kind of special snowflake. I want to think of my body as being normal, not malfunctioning, so I am going to dismiss what the doctor/author of this blog said as absolutely insane in order to protect my mental health. I am trying my damnedest to lose weight, and my body does not comply on my schedule. Lately, it hasn’t complied on any schedule. I read this blog post at a bad time, because I am trying to be patient with a body that isn’t willing to lose right now.

One pound a day! It sounds like a fantasy. I want to say that I hope it is, but that’s cruel. If some of you reading this ARE losing a pound a day, I am genuinely happy for you***. I wish that I could get an invitation to your club. But it turns out that I may be a special snowflake after all.

[Gay Panda]

UPDATE: (in explanation of *, **, and ***)

* Oh, I misunderstood the term? I know. This is tongue-in-cheek. ☺

** Obviously, this does not apply to our friend Roger.

*** For those of you with a minute to spare, would you take part in a completely scientific study on Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS? I am curious to know at what rate you are losing weight. Are you part of the Revered One Pound A Day Club? Or are you standing forlornly outside the door like Gay Panda, averaging one a week? Maybe you’re losing even more slowly than that, or not at all like Lady Friend (which is why she’s doing Atkins Induction now). How alike or how different are we?

[newlifejourney]

I do not lose at the rate of a pound a day...not even close, and I am pretty strict. Like you, my weight went up a few pounds. My bump up started a few days before your bread incident, and has just finally in the last three days started to come back down. Still .9 of a pound to go just to be back to where I was. So cutting out wheat is not a miracle cure, as the blog might try to make one believe. Some weeks I make progress and some weeks I don't. I would say on average, I have been losing about a pound a week since I got really strict, but I am down to my last 10 lbs, so those will probably take even longer.
I think each person is different...I have read a lot of blogs on here and for a rare few, the weight just seems to fly off of them. Most seem to have slow but steady progress with plateaus, which seems to be where we both fit. And unfortunately some, such as Lady Friend, seem to struggle to lose weight no matter what they eat or don't.

[dickzark]

dear gay panada
i am one of those that can lose one pound a day that is untill all my inner fat is used up then i have to exercise really hard and a lot to lose any more i all so have to watch ever thing i eat + drink . At the moment i am not losing any weight because i 1.am not doing enough excersice 2. im proberly eating to much fat and not enough veg 3. i cound not be bothered to much with changing 1 or 2 at the moment but will have to try harder soon .
when i say inner fat i mean the fat around my organs on the inside of my muscels my outer fat is the fat between the skin and muscels i find it harder to budge with out a lot of work and a calorie deficate it does come off . As for bread over rice i woould and could eat rice till it comes out my ears .

[MrsPork]

GP - love your work! xo

My weight and measurements have not changed since March I do feel better though. I believe my body is healing, and the fat loss will happen again in time. So bloody frustrating though, and I am not only wheat free, but grain, sugar and starch free as well!!

[BeckaSki]

Gay Panda, I decidedly do NOT lose 1 pound/day. I am losing about 2 lbs/week, and frankly it feels like the weight is flying off at that rate. (I have gone from a women's size 16 pants to 12 in 6 weeks, and I am continuously flabbergasted) I can't imagine what a shock it would be to the system to lose at 7 lbs/week. To get my 2 lbs/week, I am logging calories in and out (using a bodybugg, that I already had the hardware and subscripiton to from CW weight loss efforts). I find it useful to know where I stand. The weight is coming off faster and more consistently with a primal diet, and I feel so so so much better than when losing weight trying to eat a low fat/high carb diet.

[ItinerantChild]

Panda Darlin' - I am losing about a pound a week and am quite strict paleo foodwise. Tis the booze that lets me down. I reckon if I stopped drinking I'd lose 2lb a week. Maybe I'll give it a go?

[PixieKitten]

I'm having the opposite problem. I've been primalish for nearly a year, and the scale has not budged. On the 2nd of Feb last year I was 93lbs. Today, I am 94lbs. Before dinner, that will probably go back down to 93lbs. I'm eating more than I would've thought possible in my vegetarian days, and I'm doing 10x as much strength training as before. The only noticeable difference I have is small arm muscles x] Apparently Pixie Kittens just can't put on muscle weight. Sad face on feelings chart.