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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 4

  1. #31
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    Primal Fuel
    I am now counting on your posts for my daily laugh.

  2. #32
    ottercat's Avatar
    ottercat is offline Senior Member
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    I keep wanting to hit the "Like" button on your replies!

    Just so you know, Japanese people typically wash their hands and gargle after coming home which is apparently why SARS never established a foothold there. That and the little face masks. You're not OCD, you're just Harajuku-chic!

    I don't have any probs w/ depression after going primal, I think it's a combo of toxin-avoidance and healthy/saturated fats. I did Precision Nutrition (whole foods, carbs after workout, lean meats) for several months and derailed when I fell in a big black hole. No problems on PB!
    Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
    Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
    "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

  3. #33
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    ottercat, I like how you think! Since one of Gay Panda's parents was adopted, there is always the chance. The next time Lady Friend pokes fun at my OCD decontamination rituals, I will archly reply that it is not OCD, I am just a little bit Japanese.

  4. #34
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    The kitty is my Primal Coach. Every morning as I hide under my pillow, thinking bitterly of the days when breakfast included only a thirty-second preparation of cereal-bowl-milk-spoon, the kitty jumps onto the bed to discuss the perks that have come with primal eating.

    My SM partner GERD is gone. I look a little less like an engorged tick. The scale shows 191.6 instead of 231, and my hips have shrunk from 48” to 38”. Lady Friend is kind and wraps a tape measure around me every Sunday, and then she hides the tape measure because once I tried to measure myself on a Wednesday and did it wrong, and called her at work in hysterics because my waist had gone up two full inches in three days. The kitty reminds me gently of all of these things.

    KITTY: I can haz bacon?
    GAY PANDA: No, kitty. I’m tired of cooking and Poo Hurler’s dog Satan barked at 1:13 a.m. After I fell back asleep, Satan barked again and set off Spittle-and-Froth’s dog Voldemort. The yowling of Satan and Voldemort inspired Normal Neighbor’s dogs Dr. Evil and Nurse Ratched to complete the triangulation. Then, feeling tangential, Eye of the Storm’s dog Sauron put in his two cents.

    KITTY: I can haz bacon?
    GAY PANDA: No, kitty. When the dogs finally shut up, leaving me wide awake, I began to dwell about the crater into which my career fell, and how I said something embarrassing in class 14 years ago, and if my feet are cold enough to need a pair of socks. At 3:15 a.m. I finally returned to sleep, and then YOU, kitty, YOU went galloping down the hall in pursuit of Benign Poltergeist.

    KITTY: I can haz bacon?
    GAY PANDA: No, kitty! Stop giving me your fuzzy look of pathos! Go away!

    It is at this point every morning that the kitty, weak from hunger, flops over on her side because she is too fatigued to stand any longer. Then I feel like a schmuck, and know that the canine ruckus was Twilight Barking like in 101 Dalmatians, and the message they are passing along is that Gay Panda is a creep who abuses a defenseless kitty, and through dogs across the nation, this message will land on the desk of an investigative agent in New York City’s ASPCA. Their burliest cops will pile into a van and zoom to the West Coast to rescue the kitty and shout at me, and there will be cameras, and you will see Gay Panda in the next episode of Animal Precinct looking vaguely like a tick.

    KITTY: I can haz bacon?
    GAY PANDA: We can haz bacon.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 09-06-2011 at 07:52 PM.

  5. #35
    Aili's Avatar
    Aili is offline Senior Member
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    Panda....I love it!

  6. #36
    Azrhiaz's Avatar
    Azrhiaz is offline Junior Member
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    We hadz the bacon this morning. Thick-cut. NOM.

  7. #37
    anjelevil's Avatar
    anjelevil is offline Senior Member
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    Loving Gay Panda!Thanks for a great read thus far and looking forward to hearing more

  8. #38
    Gay Panda's Avatar
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    UPDATE: In an epic fail, Gay Panda forgot to defrost the bacon. Primal Coach Kitty is PISSED and gargled down part of a scrambled egg before sneezing on me and stalking away. The Twilight Barking to New York City's ASPCA will be deafening tonight, and I apologize to all of you who will be affected.

  9. #39
    canio6's Avatar
    canio6 is offline Senior Member
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    This journal is a never-ending source of amusement. Keep it up GP.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  10. #40
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    Never fear, canio6 with the awesome avatar! People like Poo Hurler give me a lot of material, and my weight loss travels on a very slow train. I'll be around for a while.

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