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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 376

  1. #3751
    cori93437's Avatar
    cori93437 is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
    I thought Gay Panda was an anagram for Day Pagan, and that at night he... read the Bible!
    Oh Finny... you make me giggle like a schoolgirl.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  2. #3752
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    Quote Originally Posted by saan356 View Post
    Gay Panda admits it
    Dear saan356,

    You're right. Gay Panda admits it. I've been found out. I never thought it would take this long to be discovered, nor do I find it very chivalrous of you to rub my nose in it. But there you have it, world. Gay Panda stands before you and admits it.

    I admit that I poured turpentine on a stained piece of clothing when I was eight because someone told me turpentine removes everything and I'd spilled paint on myself at school. Knowing that Mother Panda was going to be absolutely furious, I stole my brother's container of turpentine and dumped it all over the stain. Then I balled it up and hid it in the back of the toy shelf, where it lived for 18 months. Occasionally I remembered and took it out eagerly to see if the stain was gone. But it was still there, a bright smear of green paint on the light blue fabric, and then I pushed it back into the darkness to give the magic a little longer to do its work. I quaked with fear that Mother Panda might ask after that piece of clothing.

    And, 18 months later, she did. Trembling, I confessed that I had gotten paint on it. Followed by a verbal pinwheel of castigation, I was sent to retrieve the offending piece of clothing. It had to be thrown out.

    But I never admitted to the turpentine until you found me out, saan356. I'm bewildered as to how you learned my terrible secret, but that is hardly the point. Young Gay Panda poured turpentine on a stained piece of personal wardrobe hidden in the toy shelf for a year and a half hoping it would get rid of a green paint stain. It did not, and I was disappointed.

    Now that we've cleared the air of guilt (and the scent of turpentine), I beg you from the bottom of my heart not to reveal any more of my secrets. We've already discussed The Gum Incident at length in this journal, as well as my Rollerskating Down The Staircase Mistake and The Goldfish Resurrection. But I never brought up The Running In The Rain Impulse that nearly got me sent home in fourth grade for being soaked, or that once when I was nine I called my teacher MOM by mistake. I also never brought up The Marshmallow Mishap that ended up with a nasty burn on my hand, or the many, many, MANY times I dreamed about taking the sledgehammer in the shed to my hated musical instrument. The crunch of wood, the snap of string, how I fantasized! And what cruel fate could I visit upon that metronome? DIE.

    If you reveal any of those things, saan356, in your vicious quest to expose me, no one will ever come to this journal again. Is that your objective? To keep me from having any social life and press my nose to the grindstone relentlessly so that all I do is write? Well, okay. I did spend a lot of time messing around on MDA yesterday. Touche, my friend. Touche.*

    Love and turpentine,
    Gay Panda

    * Yes, darlings, I know there should be a wee little accent thing over the e. But I don't want to figure out how to make it.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 06-21-2012 at 09:12 AM.

  3. #3753
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    I usually copy and paste the accepted letters from elsewhere on the internet (Google the word with the regular letter substituted and you can usually find it that way).

    I am sure I called my teacher Mama at some point. I do remember other students doing it from time to time. At some age, most kids realize how embarrassing it is and don't say anything and the teacher just smiles nicely as the student corrects him/herself. But not all kids, unfortunately.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  4. #3754
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    Quote Originally Posted by justyouraveragecavemen View Post
    Oh well now, I think you're trying to put the Panda in a nice little category. Gay Panda shall not be stored away like shoes in a cubby hole at a McDonald's playground. No ma'am, Gay Panda rejects your cubby hole.
    But it's a nice cubby hole! Lots of pillows and good books, and I even made tea.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

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    Quote Originally Posted by justyouraveragecavemen View Post
    Oh well now, I think you're trying to put the Panda in a nice little category. Gay Panda shall not be stored away like shoes in a cubby hole at a McDonald's playground. No ma'am, Gay Panda rejects your cubby hole.
    Nobody puts Gay Panda in a corner!

  6. #3756
    Gay Panda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by badgergirl View Post
    What you need to do is get your bucket of iodine and FREEZE it until it looks like a cola slushy and then immerse yourself in it for at least an hour. I've been doing this for the last month and let me tell you I am ripped. And also stained.
    LOL. So that's what I've been doing wrong!

    * freezing iodine now *

  7. #3757
    Gay Panda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cori93437 View Post
    Which is what happened tonight when I started reading Pandaloonery and got down to the "I'm Gay, You're Weird" post.
    Somehow we have a lot of overlap in our lives.

    My squishy brain is better sometimes than others, but never what it was before. I can no longer multitask, things are just slower, even on my best days I lose words... I know what they are, I know they are in there, I just can't bring them up and say them.
    It is so very disconcerting to realize your brain has changed. I remember struggling with assignments in college and thinking in horror I am not as smart as I used to be. It's subtle in my case, but there is a difference. I just can't retain information the way I did before I got friendly with the pill bottles as a solution to The Gay. My brain hitches and I'll start stammering now and then because I just can't get some damn word out.

    * hugs to our squishy brains *

  8. #3758
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    Man, I SUCK BALLS at speaking irl. I think in pictures, so it's a constant process of trying to translate pictures into words in realtime, so I usually end up staring into space while speaking and my speech occasionally seizes up when I can SEE something but I can't remember the word for it.

    I'm pretty sure it's a fucking nightmare actually talking to me in person. No wonder I don't have any friends!

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

  9. #3759
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gravyboat View Post
    Man, I SUCK BALLS at speaking irl. I think in pictures, so it's a constant process of trying to translate pictures into words in realtime, so I usually end up staring into space while speaking and my speech occasionally seizes up when I can SEE something but I can't remember the word for it.

    I'm pretty sure it's a fucking nightmare actually talking to me in person. No wonder I don't have any friends!
    *blink, blink* *blink, blink*

    I love this place. I DO THAT, TOO!!! It's doubly frustrating because I sound like a moron because my brain gets stuck on something like tureen instead of bowl.
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

  10. #3760
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    Oh yeah, I always say the wrong word, which would make at least some sense if you could see what I was thinking, but in speech it makes none at all. Like, instead of saying "finish", I'll say "banner". Because I'm thinking of the tape that people run through at the finish line of a race. Happens all the damn time and I must sound like an absolute idiot.

    _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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