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Thread: Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 313

  1. #3121
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    PART THREE: As we discussed her novel, I learned that Three didn’t read at all. Zip, zilch, zero, she knew nothing about children’s series or why a forty-year-old male protagonist might not work. And she had no intention of picking up a series or two currently being sold to check them out. Why should she? Her protagonist was great. Girls would love him! She’d make millions off this, so why were editors rejecting her queries? Stupid people! She was a good writer!

    Knowing that she was not very good at one of the three things she claimed to be good at doing, I was curious about the others. In the matter of riding, I consulted Lady Friend. She has been riding horses since she was a zygote, and what Gay Panda knows about horses would impress no one. I know that it hurt when a horse stepped on my foot. I know that it is not a very good idea to leave a horse unattended on a hot walker, and that it is a very foolish idea indeed to teach a colt how to place his front hooves on your shoulders to ‘dance’. I know that sometimes horses rip incredibly loud and rattling farts, to hold my hand flat when offering an apple (learned the hard way), and that they are expensive. None of this helped me gauge Three’s claim to ride well, so I asked Lady Friend’s opinion of Three’s skills in the saddle. Lady Friend shrugged. “Not good, not bad. Mediocre.”

    Interesting. Three believed (fervently) that she was a good writer, and she was not. She believed (fervently) that she was a good rider, and she was not. She was not terrible at riding by any stretch, and her initial concept for her series was good even if all the rest was awful. But overall, these were not her strongest points. And she had other things at which she was genuinely good. Her craftsmanship with fabric was stunning; her sense of timing in jokes and skill at relating stories was superb. She belonged on a stage doing comedy, and her craft pieces were ordered by royalty. But I knew her many months before I learned of her amazing crafts, and all the while she talked up a storm about her good writing/riding/and the third thing.

    Why was her personal gauge so off-center? Her weaknesses were promoted as strengths and her true strengths weren’t promoted at all, and maybe she didn’t have life as figured out as I’d originally thought. I didn’t want to think that, to have my small hero worship tempered. I wanted to think that I’d be confident by my late twenties, too. That was a reassuring and attractive fantasy I’d borrowed from her life and applied to myself, and then she insisted on being as fallible a human being as anyone else.

    As to the third thing at which she claimed (fervently) to be good, I did not test. I hope her judgment was better on that call.
    Last edited by Gay Panda; 06-01-2012 at 11:54 AM.

  2. #3122
    Gay Panda's Avatar
    Gay Panda is offline Senior Member
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    UPDATE: (in explanation of * and **)

    * Mr. Slave licked her boots from bottom to top, soles included, every inch while his mistress yelled at him and Three stood there in astonishment.

    ** Listening to my music is like listening to someone read an interesting passage of a book in a monotone.

  3. #3123
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    bloodorchid is offline Senior Member
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    oh Three *fangirl crush*
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

  4. #3124
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    I think everyone wants to be a little more like Three. I wish I had the bravado and quick comebacks that she has; I always think of the best thing to say after the situation passes...which is why I'm funnier on the computer than IRL. Where can one find an apartment complex of dominatrices?
    If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

  5. #3125
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    Quote Originally Posted by justyouraveragecavemen View Post
    Where can one find an apartment complex of dominatrices?
    In Los Angeles.

  6. #3126
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    Quote Originally Posted by NourishedEm View Post
    Gay Panda - I just bought your Mother's Little Helpers short story on Kindle. Best 99c I ever spent.


    Aw, thank you! I loved writing that piece. I'm glad that it was a short story and not a book - I couldn't bear to spend any more time with the character Anthony.

  7. #3127
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    Good stuff, Panda!

    **I had the good fortune of being read to early and often by mother, grandpmothers, and an aunt. My grandfathers did not read to me, as I suppose the tucking-in was parcel of grandmotherly duties. Once I remember my grandfather DID read to me, in suchlike monotone, synaesthetically coloring my imagining of everything he read... blue. Casey at bat was a movie bathed in aqua hues. It literally made me queasy to listen.

  8. #3128
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
    ***snipped***
    OMG hilarious! hahaha

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Friend View Post
    I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure this is the look you get right before the monkey jumps up to eat your face off. Just sayin'.
    Laughing hard now.

    Quote Originally Posted by drssgchic View Post
    The star-spangled eyes are what get me. Like it's a god or alien in a deceptivly fragile body placed here to study/reassure/toy with us. (Never can tell which it is- whether you're dealing with gods or aliens)

    Then, of course, it'll open it's mouth too wide to be physically possible and swallow your head. Because that's the next logical step.
    But of course!

    Quote Originally Posted by justyouraveragecavemen View Post
    I tried to buy iodine at the walmarts yesterday...they didn't have any with the regular vitamins. I should have looked somewhere between the enemas and paintbrushes. I'll try another place today, maybe walgreens or CVS.
    *FW-that comes scarily easy for you, to channel prince herbert like that...pretty funny though.
    Check the crafts aisle. That's where I found the cheese cloth last night for making ghee...
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  9. #3129
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    Quote Originally Posted by justyouraveragecavemen View Post
    Where can one find an apartment complex of dominatrices?
    lmao. What would you do if you found that complex?

    <visions of the coyote catching the road runner bouncing around in my brain>
    "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls." - George Carlin

  10. #3130
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    jes1014 is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    GP, my 5 yr old has to write in a journal for his K class. I just read his May journal and had to share this with you:

    May 25 (free day with no assigned topic)
    His entry: Some penguins can glow.

    Apparently, the penguin zombie army can do more than just sparkle and they are trying to recruit the younger set!
    Thread-killer extraordinaire
    My journal
    Primal since 3/10/12 - removed lap band 5/11/12
    207/186/160

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