Primal With A Side Of FABULOUS page 311

[NourishedEm]

Wonder what would happen if I rubbed iodine on my man-boobs?

I haven't been following the epic Iodine thread, but my guess is that they'd turn purple, or am I thinking about potassium permanganate? It's been so long since high school chemistry....

[Lady Friend]

Oh dear, I'll have to find some way to make that XXX-rated woman more of a G- to PG-rating for this journal.

OH! I know who *that* is. Oh my, that will be a challenge . . .

[Finnegans Wake]

OK, imagine Gadsie and Grizz, locked in a room together. Who wins?

Gadsie: Will iodine cure the itch I keep getting in my left ear?

Grizz: Excellent question! A Norwegian study of iodine eardrops released last Tuesday shows that the eardrops caused itching to cease, and helped respondents to hear 23% better in audio tests over 20,000 kHz!

Gadsie: Sometimes I feel a bit mopey.

Grizz: Iodine, my boy!

Gadsie: I get so clumsy. I just dropped a grape on the floor. Is it a problem with my nerve endings?

Grizz: The problem is that all sorts of endotoxins build up in our nervous system and iodine is pushed out. By injecting iodine directly into your spine...

[*Cut jump 5 days ahead*]

Gadsie: I don't have gout, but I think I have an unreasonable fear of developing gout.

Grizz: That's known as guttaphobia, from the Latin root that the word gout is derived from. In 1924, the physician Emile Davies found a direct link between guttaphobia and individuals who developed goiters, thus linking the fear of developing gout to populations lacking in dietary iodine...

[Lady Friend]

UPDATE: (in explanation of *)

Actually, five students split, giving the teacher exactly what she wanted. Lady Friend remained in the class for the semester, and reports that she was a mediocre teacher threatened by talent.

But I stayed 'cause it was a good excuse to get some creative writing in during the last semester of my senior year while I was writing my thesis . . .

[canio6]

...snipped...

You, sir, never fail to entertain me. Bravo.

[Lady Friend]

I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure this is the look you get right before the monkey jumps up to eat your face off.

Just sayin'.

[drssgchic]

I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure this is the look you get right before the monkey jumps up to eat your face off.

Just sayin'.

I'm seriously torn between adorable and creepy on that one. What's up with the star-spangled eyes?

[Lady Friend]

What's up with the star-spangled eyes?

That's the death stare.

[Lady Friend]

You know why the Army sent Capt. Willard in to take out Col. Kurtz in Apocalypse Now? He got all those villagers to think he was some kind of god talking to them about iodine. You can't be going off script like that, you know, telling the great gospel of iodine. Army don't like that.

And no, I am not wearing a foil hat. It's a myth that they can steal your thoughts right out of your head... as long as you supplement with iodine.

Iodine is also implicated in a few other nasty episodes, fictional and non-fictional, including Area 57, the JFK and RFK assassinations, Super Bowl XXX, Donald Trump's hair, the words to Louie, Louie, the Church of the Subgenius, secret messages in Mad magazine from 1971-1976, the Tunguska Explosion in Siberia (1908), codes from the footnotes in House of Leaves, Sarah Palin, viruses from outer space, and a few hundred other things I can't begin to explain now. Mostly because they're watching my every move.

As long as I have iodine, I'm safe. I think. But can I trust the iodine, or have "they" gotten to it, too?

I'd type back to this, but I'm laughing too hard. Hahahahahahahahaha . . .

[Owly]

I used to think monkeys were cute and cuddly, and then I travelled to India and saw one monkey rip off another one's ear and various other nastiness. They can be vicious critters, fascinating to watch and cool to photograph but definitely not something I want to cuddle. Also, rabies.

So, cute but bitey.